- Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time,
ViewToob has kicked a creator off the platform.
Prankster, stuntman and all-round (beep) bag, Kip Thomason,
has been banned from ViewToob for life.
Kip had been declining in views and resorted, okay,
to stupid Skullstorm gaming videos.
but the video that got him banned
is called the aquarium prank, and it's low,
even for Kip.
- This is bull (beep)!
Kicked off of ViewToob, and for what?
- I don't know man, a lot of those fish died.
You killed Nemo, dude!
- How the hell am I supposed to make money now, Eric?
Hey, maybe you could get me another sponsorship
on Instagram or something.
What about that headphone company?
- Eh, they said you're not really brand-friendly.
- Hey (beep) those garbage (beep) bull (beep) headphones!
- It's fine dude, we'll just have to move on
to streaming on Twist.
Skullstorm: chug challenge!
Tape this gamer fuel to your hand
and drop into the battle royale!
- Oh man, I've only got 10,000 followers on Twist.
- Enough of that negative attitude, man!
What would your emblem, the falcon, think?
- You're right dude, falcon energy!
(splatters) (grunts)
And we're going live.
(thuds) (grunts)
- You might not be the best at the game,
but you sure know how to please a crowd.
Told you we'd figure something out, we're smart!
Well, I'm smart, you're just a pretty face.
- Yeah, let's just hope that translates to money
or we're totally screwed.
(adventurous music)
- We're totally screwed here!
If we don't figure out something soon
we're gonna lose millions of dollars!
- What, just millions?
(laughing)
(fist bangs) - Very bad!
- Heads up, Woody's heading in now.
Just a quick brief before he gets in here.
Josh Woodson, owns Team Halitosis,
says he's previously worked on "Halo 3",
was a junior programmer,
and that's it, nothing else on his resume
for the past 10 years.
- How does an unemployed gaming programmer
like that afford to buy a multimillion dollar eSports team?
(door crashes)
- I'll have you know I took out
an extremely irresponsible loan
with the sketchiest bank in Los Angeles.
I also save a lot of money with this free swag
from old "Halo" campaigns.
(can pops)
- Mr. Woodson, as you know,
eSports viewership is struggling.
We're taking drastic steps to try and get the excitement up
for competitive professional gaming.
- Right, we're on the same page.
(slurps)
- Are we?
We're sinking millions of dollars
into this industry and not seeing any of it come back!
Woody, your team continues to not only have
the worst record in the league,
but overall the lowest viewership!
You need a certain spark, a personality, something.
- Gentlemen, professional gaming is still new.
I want to win.
Believe me, my stakes are higher than yours.
We've got a good squad.
I know if we train and work hard, money will come.
- You've got 24 hours to make a change, Woody,
or we're taking Team Halitosis out
of the Ultimate Gaming League,
which means you'll be out of your place,
out of the money we gave you,
and back to eating Crunchwrap Supremes
out of your Toyota Camry.
(fist bangs) - Very bad!
(somber music)
- C'mon, dammit, think!
- Woo, #gamerchick!
(giggling) How does my cam look?
(booms)
- What, dude are you serious?!
Oh my god, wow, dude, this game is so broken!
Oh my god, I can't even!
Dude, this game, so broken!
- (whispering) Welcome back to ASMR gaming.
As always thanks to our sponsor,
(crinkles)
Flaming Hot Cheetos.
(munches loudly)
- Dammit Woody!
You're getting desperate.
Let's try on Twist.
Jesus, 20,000 viewers.
- I don't think about ViewToob,
they say I'm not family friendly.
Well, they can go (beep).
All right, and who's enjoying this one-handed skill, baby?
(thuds) (grunts)
- Well, this train wreck might be just the spark
the league is looking for.
- Declined?
What do you mean the card was declined?!
Give me my tacos, do you know who I am?!
I'm famous on the internet, dammit!
- You must be Kip.
I'll pay for these, and throw in a Crunchwrap.
- Aren't you a little old to be a fan, dude?
- Kip, my name is Woody,
and I own the greatest team in the history
of competitive gaming.
Now, I'll save you some time and tell you now
that you're not getting any of these tacos
until you talk to me about signing on to my roster.
- Ha, a creep trying to lure me into his fancy car?
Let me just tweet the police.
- Uh, speaking of police.
(door thuds)
- Here's the thing, Kip.
I think you could be a big star in eSports.
- E-what?
- Competitive gaming.
You've got the skills to play in a league.
We want you on Team Halitosis.
- Halitosis?
What the hell does that even mean?
As Kip's manager, I cannot allow him
to join a team with such a stupid name!
(splats)
- I don't know, Woody.
Being a professional gamer kinda seems
like something a try-hard would do.
That's not really my brand.
- (chuckling) Brand, ha!
An air-headed internet (beep) bag worried about his brand?
Kip, this is a legacy you'd be creating.
Big wins, big crowds, big money.
(thuds)
- Wow, okay, give us a second to talk real quick.
- Dude, that's a (beep) ton of money!
- All right, I'm gonna grab the money and run,
you kick him in the shins.
- Boys, you know I can hear you?
Look Kip, maybe I had you pegged for something you're not.
I thought you were the type to do anything to win,
not a follower, a falcon.
- Woody, I accept your offer to join your team,
but my buddy, Eric, here has to be
the team's general manager.
- Hm, fine I suppose.
I'm not gonna argue, seeing as we're already at our gate.
(brakes screech)
- Dude, that's a private jet!
Eric, take a pic for the Gram!
(camera clicks)
(upbeat electronic dance music)