TLC's Hot & Heavy is proof of the network's commitment to push the envelope when it
comes to reality programming focusing on relationships. The show focuses on three
couples, all of which feature a male of average weight and a female who is obese.
Here are some things you may not know about Hot & Heavy.
Given the controversial subject matter and provocative title of TLC's Hot & Heavy,
it shouldn't be surprising that the series was hit with backlash. What was surprising,
however, was how quickly it erupted — and that it struck weeks before a single episode
of the series had even aired. A big part of that had to do with a brief teaser the
network shared on social media, introducing the three couples featured on the show.
TLC's announcement of Hot & Heavy in December 2019 came nearly a month before the show's scheduled
premiere date in January 2020. Yet after people watched the promo, media outlets ranging from
CNN to The Blast reported on all the intense controversy the show stirred up. As CNN wrote,
"TLC has a new reality show about plus-sized women and their thinner love interests,
and it's turning into a bigger deal than the network may have imagined."
After the promo for Hot & Heavy was unveiled, Twitter lashed out,
sending a tsunami of negative backlash toward the network. One Twitter user wrote,
"HOT AND HEAVY????? MIXED-WEIGHT????? TLC needs to be cancelled immediately. This is ridiculous."
In fact, there was no shortage of angry tweets issued as the Twitterverse
spewed its collective dismay about the show and its premise. Another person tweeted,
"Let me tell you what we're not going to do. This. At all."
And another user noted,
"I get that obese people need love too but celebrating morbid obesity is just wrong,
it's not something to aspire to. Definitely avoiding this show."
On an episode of her daytime talk show, host Tamron [TAM-run] Hall discussed the Hot & Heavy
controversy, admitting she felt the show was treading on dangerous ground. She explained,
"In fairness, we know reality TV is not reality [...] so you have the drama associated with it.
I think it's one thing to have a little drama on The Real Housewives of Atlanta,
it's another when you're talking about body issues and self esteem."
As anyone who's watched television sitcoms over the last half-century or so can verify,
couples in which the male is heavyset and the female is slim are pretty much par for the course,
and there have been numerous examples. Yet the term "mixed-weight" has never been used
to describe the characters played by Kevin James and Leah Remini on Kevin Can Wait,
as one example. In fact, "heavy" guys with "hot" wives have been pretty much a primetime norm.
However, the Hot & Heavy announcement and the show's brief teaser made it perfectly clear
that the series featured three mixed-weight couples in which an average-sized male was
involved with a plus-sized female — and not the other way around. This
understandably led the show to be criticized for an allegedly sexist double standard. In fact,
numerous Twitter users called out TLC for precisely this reason. One person wrote,
"So will there be a couple the other way around him big her not just curious?"
And another added,
"So... a show exclusively about 'men who love
plus-size women' but not women who love plus-size men. Why not both ways, TLC?"
The title of TLC's show fueled controversy since it emphasized the sexist double
standard that appeared to be at the heart of the show. As one Twitter user put it,
"This is not OK and that title is horrible."
The show's title also received heat from radio host Veda Loca when
she and her co-hosts on her radio show for The Beat 33, Veda Loca in the Morning,
weighed in on the controversy. Discussing the widespread criticism of the show, she admitted,
"I can kind of get that. Because you're calling me heavy but you're calling my man hot."
As she pointed out, "hot" and "heavy" are not mutually exclusive terms,
and a person doesn't have to be one or the other. She added,
"You can be heavy and be hot. Shout out Lizzo!"
While the title Hot & Heavy was immediately criticized
for its implication that the men are "hot" and the "heavy" women aren't,
not everyone had a problem with the show's name. Veda Loca's co-host, J-Kruz,
took more of a devil's advocate position with regard to the show's title, saying,
"If the actual people on the show, who are heavy,
don't have a problem with the title, what am I gonna sit here and argue about?"
"If you don't like the title of the show, and it bothers you, don't watch it."
His co-host Jazzi Black, however,
wondered why it was necessary for Hot & Heavy to even exist in the first place, saying,
"I don't feel like we should be shining a light on [mixed-weight couples].
People are loving whoever they want to love. [...] Everybody's loving who they
want to love. It doesn't matter if you're big, it doesn't matter if you're black,
it doesn't matter if you're white. Why do we need a reality show about it?"
"Why do we have to emphasize on it, you know what I mean?"
Even though Hot & Heavy was hit with criticism,
there were still people who liked what they saw. One Twitter user wrote,
"I want to watch this. I'm glad these men feel that way about the love of their lives. It don't
matter what people think or say if they are in love and happy that's all that matters."
Another Twitter commenter similarly saw the show in a positive light, writing,
"They weren't celebrating the fact that they were obese, they are celebrating the fact that love has
no boundaries and that these men love these girls no matter what, and that's the beauty of it."
During her appearance on The Tamron Hall Show, Slink Magazine editor Renee Cafaro
admitted she didn't want to render judgement based on the trailer without actually seeing the show,
but explained that Hot & Heavy was clearly "triggering for some folks" because, in her words,
"We're worried that we're going to be seen again as a freak show, that we don't deserve love,
and that, I hope, is not going to end up being what the message is."
Regardless of the controversy, the trailer for Hot & Heavy clearly depicts all three men
expressing their desire and appreciation for their respective partners' bodies.
One character, Chris, gushed over his plus-sized love.
"I love every inch of Joy. There are a lot of inches to love."
"It's comforting to hold and to grab and, I just, I can't get enough of it, frankly."
The promo also featured another character, Rusty, expressing his desire for his 300-pound partner,
Kristin, to actually be larger, while Ricardo described his girlfriend
Adrianna as "the hottest woman [he's] ever seen in [his] life."
So, does society place too much emphasis on weight differences? Body-positive activist
Sarah Sapora thinks so, as she told Refinery29 that physical attraction is only one facet in
a relationship. She explained that a weight difference between two partners is akin to any
other difference that couples encounter as they forge a union together, adding,
"We bring our own stories to the table in any partnership. When we have differences of any kind,
they'll come up in the context of a relationship developing. Being able to talk about any kind of
difference without shame can only help two people grow closer and find common ground."
Another concern over Hot & Heavy that emerged after the release of the trailer
was that it may be glorifying a fetish. One Twitter user wrote,
"A lot of times it is just a fetish. Those men usually just love the fact
that they're needed and that's why they try to keep the ladies that size.
Once they start losing weight the men don't find them as attractive anymore."
On her daytime talk show episode with Renee Cafaro,
Tamron Hall mentioned concerns that the show was, quote,
"fetishizing these women." Admitting she found the trailer to be "cringe-worthy," Cafaro said,
"It certainly concerns me with how they're going to be portraying plus-sized women."
"What is plus size considered anymore and why do we still use that phrase?"
A show like Hot & Heavy, by its very nature,
invites judgement on its subjects. Cafaro explained,
"We do face a lot of scrutiny unfortunately and I don't blame those who scrutinize us.
I just think that it's a cultural issue in society that everywhere you look, all the
media [...] is chasing this Hollywood standard that only one percent of the world looks like,
and especially women are really forced into that." "We need to allow everyone to be happy that
two consensual adults find love and happiness in this usually bleak world."
Of all the criticism that was levelled at Hot & Heavy promo,
the most damning was the accusation that the network was exploiting the women on the show,
putting them in situations that were deliberately unflattering and designed to elicit ridicule. It's
a difficult charge to counter when one of these moments comes at the very start of the trailer,
when three women get into a hot tub together and send a ridiculous amount
of displaced water gushing over the edge. One Twitter user wrote,
"What the entire f---??? And to have the nerve to call it hot and 'heavy.' I wish
fat people could be on tv without the show always pertaining to their weight [and] exploiting them."
Meanwhile, others questioned the truthfulness of the scene in the
trailer featuring a driver zooming by and hurling an insult at one of the lead women.
"Cow, mooo, eat my ----...okay."
One viewer tweeted,
"Now you know damn well nobody gonna randomly do
this. TLC really handing out checks for people to be an a---hole lol."
Another tweet read,
"Quit exploiting obese people. The only reason you are daring
to air something like this is to get people to watch your crummy network."
While Hot & Heavy may be the most mainstream media representation of mixed-weight couples to date,
this particular type of relationship has also been studied by academics. A 2012 paper called "'You're
going to eat that?' Relationship processes and conflict among mixed-weight couples"
tackled the issue and was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. According to
the abstract, the study examined, quote, "conflict among heterosexual mixed-weight, [meaning] one
overweight and one healthy weight partner, and matched-weight couples," finding that:
"Mixed-weight couples, specifically couples including overweight women and healthy weight men,
reported greater conflict both generally and on a daily basis, compared to matched-weight couples."
The study found that "relationship satisfaction"
is actually lower for a mixed-weight couple consisting of a heavier female
and smaller male than vice-versa. While the study didn't theorize whether this was due
to social stereotypes, cultural stigma, or other factors, it did determine that:
"Being an overweight woman in a relationship with a healthy weight man
might be associated with more negative relationship consequences [...] than being
an overweight man in a relationship with a healthy weight woman."
The phrase "mixed-weight relationship" might be a new one for those who first encountered
it in the Hot & Heavy trailer. However, the term itself has been around for a while,
and there are some who consider it to be highly problematic. Liam Preston,
the head of the U.K.'s Be Real campaign for body confidence, told The Independent,
"The term 'mixed-weight relationship' is essentially another way of labelling
people based on the differences in their appearance. It only seeks to
highlight the differences in a couple's shape and size."
Preston's organization strives to, quote, "change attitudes to body
image and help all of us put health above appearance and be confident in our bodies."
According to Preston, the term mixed-weight implies that two
people shouldn't be together because of their different sizes. He explained,
"If people want to embrace the label of a 'mixed-weight' relationship
then that is great and individuals should be free to do so. However,
many won't feel confident enough to do so or in fact not want to at all."
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