I DON'T DO THIS OFTEN, BUT I DO NEED TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
AND MAKE A CORRECTION.
WE DID A JOKE ON WEDNESDAY ABOUT SEAN SPICER AVOIDING REPORTERS
BY HIDING "IN" THE BUSHES.
IT HAD BEEN REPORTED THAT HE WAS HIDING IN THE BUSHES AFTER COMEY
WAS FIRED.
OKAY.
WELL, "THE WASHINGTON POST" HAS SINCE UPDATED THAT REPORT,
SAYING, "EDITOR'S NOTE: SPICER HUDDLED WITH HIS STAFF 'AMONG'
BUSHES ON THE WHITE HOUSE GROUNDS, NOT 'IN THE BUSHES.'"
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A SUBTLE DIFFERENCE.
I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU.
IF YOU BRING THE BUSHES OUT HERE, GUYS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HE WASN'T HIDING IN THE BUSHES, OKAY?
HE WAS HIDING AMONG THE BUSHES, OKAY?
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
YOU SEE HOW MUCH MORE REASSURING THIS IS?
THIS IS PERFECTLY DIGNIFIED.
AND SEAN SPICER HIDING IS A GREAT WAY TO TEACH KIDS ABOUT
PREPOSITIONS.
SEAN SPICER HIDES "AMONG" THE BUSHES.
( LAUGHTER ) SEAN HIDES "NEXT TO" THE BUSHES.
AND MY FAVORITE, SEAN HIDES "FROM" THE BUSHES, BECAUSE ONE
OF THE BUSHES ASKED HIM A QUESTION ABOUT JAMES COMEY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO!
REMEMBER, SEAN.
THEY'RE NOT LAUGHING "AT" YOU.
THEY'RE LAUGHING AMONG YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
( CHEERS ) THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
( APPLAUSE ) , OF COURSE, TRUMP ISN'T THE
ONLY POLITICIAN TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING, BECAUSE BILL
CLINTON AND JAMES PATTERSON ARE TEAMING UP TO WRITE A NOVEL.
IT'S CALLED "THE PRESIDENT IS MISSING."
THAT'S.
MUCH MORE DIGNIFIED THAN THE ORIGINAL TITLE, "HAVE YOU SEEN
MY HUSBAND?" WELL, WE GOT AN ADVANCE COPY OF
THE BOOK.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN DETECT BILL CLINTON'S INFLUENCE ON THE
CLASSIC PATTERSON THRILLER.
HERE WE GO.
( CLEARS THROAT ) CHAPTER TWO.
REALLY HOT.
"KEN BRANTLEY SWUNG HIS AGILE BODY ONTO THE ROOF.
HE SMILED, THINKING OF THE MOMENT HE WOULD CORNER HIS MARK
AND TAKE HIM OUT WITH A SINGLE SHOT.
HE ALSO SMILED BECAUSE HE WAS THINKING OF BOOBS.
( LAUGHTER ) BRANTLEY SHOOK HIS HEAD,
DETERMINED TO FOCUS ON THE THREAT AHEAD.
BUTTS ARE COOL, TOO, HE THOUGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE LIKE BOOBS ON YOUR
BACK."
'STAY FOCUSED, KEN,' HE TOLD HIMSELF.
'YOU'VE GOT A BOOB TO DO.
I MEAN, A JOB TO BUTT.' DAMMIT!"
AND HE SHOOTS THE GUY.
( APPLAUSE ) THAT'S AN ACTUAL BOOK.
SPEAKING OF BOOKS.
ANY GAME OF THRONES FANS OUT THERE?
( APPLAUSE ) ME TOO.
THAT SHOW HAS EVERYTHING: GREAT CHARACTERS, PULSE-POUNDING
ACTION, FLEETING MOMENTS WHEN NO ONE IS NAKED.
SO I WAS EXCITED TO LEARN THAT HBO IS DEVELOPING SEVERAL "GAME
OF THRONES" SPINOFFS.
THIS IS PERFECT FOR ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO WATCH "GAME OF
THRONES" AND THINK, "THERE JUST AREN'T ENOUGH CHARACTER
NAMES FOR ME TO KEEP STRAIGHT."
( LAUGHTER ) AND WHAT WILL THESE NEW SPINOFFS
BE ABOUT?
WELL, APPARENTLY, THEY WILL EXPLORE DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS
OF GEORGE R.R. MARTIN'S VAST AND RICH UNIVERSE.
THAT IS EXCITING.
MAYBE NOW WE'LL FINALLY FIND OUT WHICH TIME PERIOD HE'S DRESSING
FOR.
I'M GOING TO SAY STEAMPUNK NEWSIE IN NAZI-OCCUPIED
BROOKLYN.
WELL, WE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" BECAUSE WE'RE IN SHOW BUSINESS--
WE'RE IN SHOW BUSINESS-- WE HERE AT THE THE LATE SHOW"
HAVE OBTAINED AN EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK AT THESE NEW "GAME OF
THRONES" SPINOFF TV SHOWS.
FIRST UP, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE MOST EXCITING CHARACTER IN "GAME
OF THRONES" MOVES IN NEXT DOOR TO TIM ALLEN?
"THAT'S MY DRAGON!" NEXT, SPRING IS HERE, AND THAT
MEANS NUPTIALS.
FOLLOW REAL BRIDES ON THEIR JOURNEY TO THEIR BIG DAY IN
"SAY YES, TO THE RED WEDDING DRESS."
AND, OF COURSE, EVERYONE LOVES POLICE PROCEDURALS AND UNDEAD
ZOMBIE ARMIES AND TIGHT JEANS AND KARATE, SO GET READY FOR
"WHITE WALKER, TEXAS RANGER"!
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
STICK AROUND.
TRACY MORGAN IS HERE!