By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down,
and we wept, and we wept when we remembered Sion.
Alleluia...
A lot of us today suffer from all sorts of psychological or mental challenges and difficulties,
everything, everything ranging from all sorts of addictions to shades and colours of autism
and depression of all colours and all shapes to much more serious and more difficult to
bear forms of mental afflictions; and there is this fear in us that somehow we are not
able to fulfil God's commandments, that somehow because of this cross that we are carrying
we shall be condemned, that we are somehow condemned from the very start of our journey,
like we've not really had even a start, let alone an evolution and let alone the hope
of salvation at the end of the whole spiritual journey of our life; and I do understand that
struggle from deep within because I've struggled and I continue to struggle with everything
that I hear from you to one degree or another, from addiction to all sorts of emotions, the
way we relate to one another, the way we relate to God, even to depression which I've spoken
many times and this feeling of overcoming sadness and loneliness and abandonment that
one just gets from time to time like a black blanket that simply covers your mind and suffocates
your mind and there is no tomorrow there is no future of any kind: I do understand these
things from within, but I also understand, because I've lived it and because I experience
it again and again, I also know from within the fact that God, Christ our loving God receives
every single attempt of ours as if it were the attempt of the most glorious Saint who
ever lived on this earth.
There's no accident in me being here today; these trees of ours have inspired fear and
awe in many of our tourists, many of our pilgrims, even because they don't look like anything
that grows anywhere else, they are battered by the storms, they are battered by the winter
winds and rain keeps on hitting them sometimes for weeks on end, and only these trees, only
these deformed, imperfect, scarred versions of trees survive here, but there is so much
to learn from what God allows to grow around us, and if we don't learn, or even even worse
if we destroy the nature around us so these lessons are erased and we are no longer able
to see and to learn from them, then we are missing wonderful opportunities that Christ
places just before our eyes: don't dismiss them as being ugly, as being de-shaped, as
being deformed, as lacking beauty or wisdom, because these are the only trees that manage
to grow in this context, don't dismiss these trees because other trees somewhere else are
taller, more straight, leafier, and with beautiful flowers: those trees would collapse here and
only these trees survive here; and that applies to all of us who struggle with anything from
mental challenges to physical challenges to even spiritual challenges: don't compare trees
looking only at the outside beauty of them, look at the context of them and do not judge,
don't judge a human being, because you do not know the suffering and the pain that God
allowed to be buried in that person, don't judge anyone who struggles with an addiction,
who struggles with a passion, who struggles with a sin, just do not judge full stop, my
brother and my sister, because you do not know what lies hidden in the ground; look
at the context and try to have compassion, look at the context and try to be humbled,
if you are one of those beautiful, straight, tall trees that grow in valleys protected
against the winds such as the trees around Kilninian, our church, that's why they are
so tall and beautiful, because the winds don't hit as harshly there, it's a valley; but if
you are one of those trees, if God has blessed you not to struggle the way your brother or
your sister struggles, then be humbled by it, not proud because of it, be humbled by
it because God knew that if you had been planted here on these cliffs, fighting the ocean,
fighting its storms, you would have collapsed, so God did not allow the evil one to tempt
you to that extent, but God allowed these battles upon your brother and your sister
and now your brother and your sister, they may look not as beautiful and proud as you
are, but deep down their fight is heavier than yours, deep down their fruit, their one
flower a season, their one leaf a season weighs heavier and is more valuable than thousands
of fruit and thousands of leaves that are on the trees in protected valleys are worth.
The Fathers of the Desert were so extreme in this commandment of Christ which they took
upon themselves as a real commandment of not judging anyone that they actually teach us
that even if we see a brother or a sister of ours committing a sin before our very eyes,
if you see a brother or a sister committing fornication or committing anger or committing
anything before your very eyes, you should walk away and curse and condemn and fight
the devil, but do not condemn your brother and your sister because you do not know the
context, you do not know the battles that they face.
It is easy to judge with these eyes, but what do these eyes see, my brother and my sister?
They see just the flesh, they see just the deeds of then and there, of the flesh, and
the flesh is made of---what this is made of?
What is this tree?
Look at it.
That's what this tree is: dust, my brother, dust, my sister.
These eyes can only see the deeds of the dust in us.
Are we going to judge our brother and our sister because of the deeds of the dust in
them or are we going to hope and wait and pray and bless and sustain and carry the cross
of the divine image in our brother and in our sister; are we going to be a partaker
of their dust, of their nothingness or are we going to be a partaker of that glorious
Image of God which is imprinted in every single one of us.
If I could, I could just, just scream from the top of a mountain: Do not judge!
Do not judge!
Just, just put that in your head, put that in your soul as a mantra, know the difference
between right and wrong, discernment is one of the highest gifts that God has given us,
know the difference between right and wrong, this is not about that, this is about not
condemning and not judging one of our brothers and our sisters who has fallen in a sin; of
course I know when I see that brother of mine committing a sin, of course I know that that
is a sin, of course I know that my brother or my sister has fallen, of course I'm aware
that that is an act of the devil, not an act blessed by God, but I also know that my brother
and my sister is so much more than the dust that I see, and I also know that the brother
that I see is not the brother who is going to face God in judgment: between this version
of my brother here and now and the version of my brother who will stand in judgment before
God then and there everything can happen, think of all the Saints who've lived their
lives in utter sin, in horrible sin and just before the end of their lives God finally
broke through that blanket of darkness that had covered their hearts and they heard his
voice and they heard his calling and they answered it and they are now glorious Saints
in the Heavens: I do not want to be one of those who when I saw them fallen kicked them
while they were down, I do not want to be one of those who rejected the hidden beauty
of these trees just because proudly I think of myself as being a much more beautiful,
straight and glorified one; I want to be the one who stops on the road, I want to be like
the one, that Good Samaritan who stopped and sacrificed his time, sacrificed his money,
sacrificed his efforts, sacrificed his reputation by touching someone who was fallen, potentially
dead, I want to be one of those and I pray that you are also one of those who stops and
helps a fallen brother, who stops and helps a fallen sister by prayer, by compassion,
by love, by everything that is possible.
when you feel judgment in your heart, my dear one, know that the evil one is slowly digging
a burrow in your heart.
It is blessed and it is a commandment of Christ to discern between evil and goodness, but
it is also blessed and it is also a commandment of the same God Who is Love not to judge your
brother or your sister.
There's so much beauty in these trees and in the nature around us, there's so much beauty
in the worst, in the most fallen, in the most sinful of our brothers and our sisters, so
much beauty; instead of losing sight of that beauty, let us embrace it, let us cleanse
it, let us take their cross if they are fallen and help them to move forward, let us face
that blinding light of the Resurrection with our arms around our fallen brothers and our
fallen sisters, not as the proud ones who show ourselves before Christ saying: We've
done everything right, unlike those ones behind us who are fallen and have done nothing for
you; because we might face a terrible judgment ourselves.
Love, love is the only criterion according to which we shall be judged.
Be blessed in your love, my brother and my sister.
Amen, amen, amen.
... Alleluia.
For there they that had taken us captive asked us for words of song.
Alleluia.
And they that had led us away asked us for a hymn, saying: Sing us one of the songs of Sion.
Alleluia.