hey youtubers this is Jennifer Tardy here and i'm your career success coach
in your back for another video on our black career success youtube channel and
so today we're talking all about how to have that conversation that I'm unhappy
conversation with your boss so I'm going to talk about why I'm gonna talk about
when to add that conversation and I'm going to actually share with you some
tips on how to have that conversation so be sure to stay all the way through into
the end so you can learn how you can have that conversation if this fits your
situation alright well let's just jump right in now you may be at a place in
your career where you do not like your job where you are currently it's just
not making you feel happy whatsoever and when people come and say you know
Jennifer what should I do the first thing that that they're usually thinking
about is skipping skipping ship and going to find a new job however when you
really have a conversation with them you realize that they actually do enjoy the
company that they're working for or maybe they enjoy the work that they're
doing at that company but there are just some things that they can't deal with
whether it's a co-worker or whether it's even the person that they're reporting
to and statistically most employees leave a supervisor they don't leave a
company so if they're unhappy it usually has something to do with who they're
reporting to and sometimes who they're working with as well so the reason why I
always tell people to go and talk to their supervisor first is because odds
are that supervisor or that manager doesn't know and even if they do know
the situation they may not understand the the gravity or how serious this
situation is to you and how it's making you
want to go and look for another job so what I say go and have that conversation
that's why because we want to make sure that before you leave the company that
that that company has done all that that they could do to retain you as an
employee especially if you like the work that you're doing or if you like the
company in general okay so that's being why now how do you go about doing it I
always say to people especially those people on my team I don't care if you
email it to me I don't care if you go to HR and tell them to come and tell me or
one of your peers to come and tell me or if you come and tell me yourself or if
you come and tell me yourself and you're completely emotional and in tears I
don't care how you get the message out to me the goal is to get the message out
to me to get the message out to your boss right and so what I typically find
is that by the time that someone builds up the courage to have that conversation
it's all mixed in with emotion because they've been carrying it around for so
long and to me it breaks my heart more that you've been carrying around that
emotion for so long when you just could have said something to me and I could
have potentially done something about it for you so the how is any method that is
a healthy way that you see best and getting that message across to your boss
now if your boss is a part of the problem I still encourage you to try and
have that specific conversation with your boss and explain to them how you
see their behaviors or some actions as a part of the problem but if you don't
feel comfortable talking to them either talk to their boss or talk to HR so then
the next piece is when to have that conversation that conversation needs to
be had as soon as you're feeling that I need to
this organization feeling right as a matter of fact I would often say to
people as soon as you feel the feeling as soon so the sooner you can actually
go and have that conversation with your boss that something happened I didn't
think that it was right and I need to have this conversation with you but eyes
are if you're watching this video you're so far beyond that feeling that you're
probably at the place where you're thinking about looking for another job
so the wind here is as soon as you have the feeling or or as soon as you start
feeling an overwhelming I can't go into work today or in a woman I've got to get
out of this company right that's when you need to have that conversation now
what does that conversation look like when you're having it with your manager
or whoever the person is that you're having it with come to that conversation
with clear concrete examples of when a behavior was displayed that bothered you
come to them and share with them the frequency with which it happens so if
you have a challenge into something that your boss did be sure to share with your
boss what it did how it made you feel and to share with them how often you see
it occurring now some people may know that they're doing these things that are
bothering you some people just may not know and until
they know they can't change anything and one thing that's really really
important here Connect that issue that challenge to how it makes you feel an
inability to be successful at this company and if you don't feel that you
can be successful at this company you may have to start looking elsewhere at a
company that you can be successful okay so let me say that again for you in case
it was a little confusing the first time you want to make sure that your manager
understands the gravity of this situation okay
because understanding that urgency and the gravity of a situation helps people
to move on it helps people to move to change the situation
and in order to help them understand how serious this situation is for you in the
urgency around their fixing the situation is by you connecting it to
your perception that it's creating an inability for you to be successful and
you know that as an employee that you want to work at a place where you feel
that you can be successful and if this situation keeps occurring whatever that
situation may be however you perceive it if it continues to occur then you won't
feel like you can continuously be successful or that you can ever be
successful and because of that you need to start thinking about going to another
company where you could be successful there and be very clear about that and
that is the most courageous piece of this conversation by you stating to your
manager that you are willing to leave this position and/or leave the company
in order to find your own level of success here's another piece that's
important make sure your manager knows that you
are not in any way submitting a formal letter of resignation today that is not
what this conversation is what this conversation is is you expressing to
them how you're feeling how serious the matter is and that if this doesn't
change you're going to have to start looking but also share with them why
you're saying you're going to have to start looking and let them know that
it's because you want to keep them in the loop throughout the process and so
that if they need to start making any plans later if you do find another job
you want to be able to keep them in the nose so that they can start making plans
on their end you have the courage to have that type of conversation with your
manager I can almost guarantee you that one or two things are going to happen
one is changes will happen and changes will happen
quickly okay now that's one way that this could go secondly nothing could
happen and if that is the path that nothing happens after you've found the
courage to have this clear conversation with your manager and nothing changes
then that is your confirmation that it is now your time to start looking for a
place where you know that you can be successful and you should thank goodness
that this came through in such a clear confirmation for you to start looking so
that you don't feel any sense of guilt for leaving your current position
because at least now you'll know that you've done all that you can do all
right so I hope that this information helped if you like the what you saw here
please let us know please subscribe to our YouTube channel leave a comment let
me know if you have your own tools and tips around letting your manager know
that you're unhappy working here and as always this is Jennifer Tardy I am your
career success coach and I'll see you for the next video