Hey guys, so today we're going to talk about
something that affects a lot of men
in the dating world
and that's the top 10 lies
women tell men and themselves.
Now of course, I'm not generalizing all women,
but these lies
most women have told to men and themselves
and you need to know
because you need to know
when to stay
and when to absolutely walk away.
Now, you might actually be surprised
by some of these lies
because they're not exactly what you think.
In this video, we're going to talk about
the top 10 lies that women tell men
that actually hurt themselves as well,
why they tell these lies
and when you absolutely have to walk away.
In fact, you may want to pay close attention
to some of these lies to make sure
you're not telling yourself
any of these big little lies.
If you're new to my channel,
I help men decode modern women
so you can find, attract, and keep your keeper.
My videos are for you
if you know that women absolutely,
definitely positively need to learn
and appreciate a lot about men today
but you can only do what you can do.
So, you're here
to do what you can do, to learn what you can do.
Welcome to just the tip.
Lie number 10,
I'm not ready for a relationship
or I'm not ready for anything serious.
Truth, she's scared about getting hurt
or unsure about you.
Now, I hear you saying wait a minute, Anna.
in your last video you said
that if she says this, she's specifically
not interested in me.
Well, yes, that could be true,
but it also can be true that
she actually doesn't trust herself
because she's made poor choices
in men in the past.
So, it's possible she may be fibbing to herself.
In fact, this is one of the most common lies
emotionally damaged women tell men
when it's not specifically about you
in reality, deep down inside
she may really want a relationship.
In fact, according to recent surveys
most women do,
even if they're trying to convince themselves,
they just want a hookup.
Key point, just like a lot of you guys say
all women are insert negative belief or bias.
Well, some women say the same thing about men
because of the choices they've made
in men in the past
because of the experiences
they've had with those men in the past.
And key point, what you see on social media
is there to get clicks.
Negative triggers, create clicks
that's what gets you to watch those channels
or those videos.
Social media doesn't accurately
represent all women
unless you're shopping for a keeper
at the bar at closing.
So, it's important to approach these situations
with a little bit of understanding
just like you would want.
Key point, if you look at all women
as the enemy that needs to be conquered,
tricked, used or abused
you will never find, attract and keep a keeper.
Emotionally healthy women
can feel that attitude and mentality
even if you whip out all your best
lines, tricks, and tactics.
And this brings us to the next of the top 10
lies women tell men and themselves.
Lie number nine,
I don't need anyone, truth.
We all do, this is another lie
women tell men and themselves.
And the truth is we all need someone
to lean on and rely on at sometimes,
and this isn't just some esoteric ideology.
So, if you meet a woman or are dating a woman
who tells you this little lie
then it's important to understand
where this false claim actually comes from.
It's likely she's been let down in the past
either from a past relationship,
a romantic relationship,
or perhaps in childhood.
Maybe her parents divorced
and either or both of her parents
told her to never rely on anyone
because you'll only get hurt.
So, now she has a difficult time
letting go of her independence.
The truth is we've all experienced
some kind of disappointment or trauma
that colors our experiences of relationships.
And this actually brings us
to the next of the top 10 lies
women tell men and themselves.
Lie number eight,
I don't have any emotional baggage.
Right.
Truth, we all do.
When she tells you this lie
because key point,
her baggage still affects her self-esteem.
You can't change what you can't acknowledge.
Everyone has emotional baggage,
but it's very important
that you're able to acknowledge it
and actually work through it.
If she can't admit her flaws,
faults, and areas that need work,
she's fibbing to you and herself.
Key point, she may not actually see herself
as good enough for you
and she's afraid
if she's honest about her flaws
that you will judge her or leave her.
And this brings us to the next of the 10 big lies
women tell men and themselves.
Lie number seven,
I don't need to talk about my feelings.
If you don't express your feelings
that are bothering you
they will fester inside of you like a poison
and hurt you and those around you, ouch!
As a man, I know for sure
you have told yourself this fib
and the truth is,
everyone needs to talk about
their feelings sometimes.
Now, this doesn't mean you should just
share your feelings willy-nilly with just anyone.
No, discretion is definitely necessary
and it is for her as well.
But if she doesn't ever share her feelings,
then she either doesn't trust you
to handle her feelings well
or she doesn't trust herself
to handle your reaction well.
Again, it comes back to fear
and that leads us into the next of the 10 lies.
women tell men and themselves.
Lie number six,
I don't trust anyone
or I don't want to get close to anyone.
Truth, she doesn't trust herself
and she's afraid of getting hurt.
Are we sensing a theme?
Yes, yes we are.
Everyone needs human connection
even if we're not able to admit it
but if she's made poor choices in the past
then she doesn't trust herself
to make better choices in the future.
Remember, there is probably a reason
she feels this way
and it quite likely
has very little to do with you.
Closely related to the last lie
is the next one,
lie number five.
I don't have time for a relationship right now.
Now, yes, this could be an excuse
she uses to reject you,
as I mentioned in the other video
but it also could be truth.
She does have time
and she can make time
if it was a priority.
Unless she's going through some major trauma
maybe one of the four D's, death, divorce,
disaster or disease.
Most women want a relationship
if a woman isn't going through
some major trauma as described
or something similar
when she says this,
she's probably trying to protect herself
from putting herself out there
and risk getting hurt again.
Now, if you told yourself that lie
then it's the high probability
you've probably told yourself lie number four
of the 10 lies women tell men and themselves
Lie number four,
I don't need physical affection, truth.
we all need physical affection.
In fact, physical affection
has a direct impact on our health.
Loving physical affection
releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone,
it helps manage stress,
it helps decrease cortisol.
It's actually good for your body.
In fact, couples who express physical affection
during stressful times
reduce the stress or physical pain
if that's a factor
and are overall healthier.
Now, if you're single
and you don't have someone to hug
I'm going to give you a solution for that
if you stick with me.
Okay, now the next of the top 10 lies
women tell men and themselves
actually it does happen more often with women,
but it can happen with needy guys.
Lie number three,
I can separate my feelings from ***.
Truth, if she *** with you,
she's releasing oxytocin, the bonding hormone.
And the reason this happens
more often with women than men
is because men don't actually release oxytocin
when you finish.
You actually release vasopressin
which makes you sleepy.
So, she can help
but release that bonding hormone
if you actually make her sing, oh my God.
And even if she doesn't,
the reality is the more physical
intimate contact she has with you
the more likely she is to catch feelings.
Now, how is it some men
can't separate feelings from ***.
Essentially, that's actually more about
emotional neediness than hormones
related to the big O.
This next lie is something she will tell you
but she don't tell herself this
because she knows the difference and it's one lie
men most often don't or can't tell.
Lie number two, yes, I did O.
90% of women admit to not having an O
during a hookup
which also potentially means the first time.
Key point, when it comes to physical intimacy
men are like micro waves
you turn on very quickly.
Women are like an oven
it takes a while to get them heated up.
So, why did she lie about the Big O?
Well, it could be she wants to see you again
and if she admits that she didn't
you might not want to see her again,
or she might want to use you
for your resources, uhh, ouch!
Yeah, more on that in a minute or three.
She doesn't want to hurt your feelings
she's either kind or being careful.
There's hardly a more vulnerable time
for a woman to tell you the truth
when you're both naked and bumping nasties,
she doesn't know how you'll react
and some men don't react well
and this ties in to lie number one.
Which might be the most insidious lie
women tell men and mostly themselves.
And then I'll share how you can get oxytocin
if you're a single guy, the bonding hormone.
Lie number one,
men can't handle the truth. Uhh, ouch!
Truth, men sometimes don't like the truth,
but they can handle the truth
if it's delivered with grace,
respect, and tenderness.
Any women watching this, grace,
respect and tenderness.
The truth is key point,
whenever anyone fibs,
it's often because
they don't want to
or can't handle the consequences
of telling the truth
or they want to avoid conflict
or hurting someone's feelings.
That's why you lie
when she asks you if that dress makes her look fat.
So, both men and women lie
when they don't want to deal
with the repercussions of telling the truth.
Okay, so a note for the single guys
and then when you should always walk away,
this is very simple.
If you don't get physical affection
from a romantic partner
or enough hugs from friends or family
which often doesn't happen for men especially,
then the next best thing is actually to get a pet
that you can cuddle.
Yes, cuddling with your pet
actually releases oxytocin
and makes you feel better.
Communication and understanding
are critical in any relationship
and it's important to be there for each other
to support each other
and hopefully feel safe enough
to be able to be honest.
It's also important to remember
we're all a little broken
but most of us men and women
are not broken beyond repair
and this is leading up to
when you should walk away.
With time patience, loving, caring, understanding
you can actually help each other heal
and build a strong and healthy relationship
unless she's a totally emotionally
damaged narcissist.
Narcissism so far cannot be cured.
Now, that doesn't mean you need to be mean to her.
We can all feel compassion for people
who've had terrible things happen to them
that made them who they are today
but that doesn't mean you have to choose them.
You can't fix them
because no matter how many amazing
qualities she may have,
she may never be able to give you
the kind of love you actually deserve.
So, this is why I don't film outside all the time.
(Giggles)
If you want to know if she's a narcissist,
you might want to watch my video on that
or my video on
the five sweet lies she will tell you.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
Look as the crow flies.