In this short video, I would like to talk about a form of OCD referred to as Pure-O.
Where a person has scary and intrusive thoughts - but seemingly lack the compulsions - like;
checking, counting, touching, cleaning and things like that - which are more commonly
associated with conventional Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Pure O is something I have experienced myself - and in my capacity as a therapist, I've
helped many people bring it under control - by helping them to understand what it is
and how to manage their attention and awareness.
Because you could place your conscious attention on the unconscious thoughts, which will scare
you and stop you from taking action in your life.
Or you could place your conscious awareness on taking action, which will distract you
from associating with the unconscious thoughts!
Either way, it's not about stopping the thoughts (or even trying to understand them); it's
about learning, not to be consciously 'hooked' by them - and to stop giving them any meaning.
You don't worry about your dreams - which are often sexual, aggressive or just plain
weird? In fact, during a fantasy moment, you might even like some variation of that type
of imaginative thinking? Who knows?
We then learn how to retrain our brain and body via exposure therapy - which is basically
saying, "how can we learn to sit with the discomfort of the anxiety until our brains
are tricked into a new recalibrated, calmer state?
Of course, this is what we are doing every day with new experiences; the first date is
scary, the second one less so, then the third one is fun - our brains adapt with repetition
to new behaviours.
But if the anxiety is limiting your life and stopping you from doing new things - you may
get caught up in a procrastination cycle?
That is why re-engaging with life (and seeing life differently) is key to that recalibration,
though it may feel uncomfortable.
In my experience, the intrusive thoughts usually fall into the same few categories; harming
(or killing) others, be they family, friends or children.
Suicidal fixations, sexual imagery, intrusive thoughts about sexually abusing others, which
may extend to the thoughts they may abuse children, even their own.
Which you won't, as these are just the 'stories' that the OCD is using to scare you!
Another common topic of Pure O is doubting your sexuality, feeling you may be gay or
transgender - then fixating on those thoughts and looking for evidence that it may be true.
We can then expand the categories out to religious concepts, like blasphemy, sinning, being judged
by God, fearing hell and the like.
Then, intrusive thoughts about contamination, going mad, becoming schizophrenic, or obsessions
with past lives or death.
Ultimately, though, I think the best way to classify the range of categories is by saying
- "Any story your unconscious mind can create that will consciously scare or fixate you,
thus sabotaging you from getting on with life.
These periods of increased anxiety seem to intensify in proportion to increased life
stress, exhaustion and times of significant change - though, in more adventurous maverick
types, it's often triggered by boredom or feeling trapped by work, relationships or
life.
It's as if - the more tired and stressed you become, the more your unconscious thoughts
try to scare you, sabotage you and make you withdraw from life, hoping you can take a
break and recharge.
Which is biologically quite sensible really - though the conscious mind may want you to
work or study harder - thus causing quite a conflict!
This is why learning how to accept life in new ways or explore the courage to release
your non-conformist free spirit - are critical to sustained recovery, but so few therapists
mention this - or teach people how to do it.
So, before I go into more detail about this condition, it's prudent to highlight a few
perspectives that may help you see it in a new light.
Firstly, I have never come across an OCD person who has acted on these thoughts, have you?
No, because you are a good person, these thoughts bother you because you care - and if you didn't
care, they wouldn't bother you, and that would make you a psychopath - which you are not,
because you have empathy.
Secondly, and this is important, even though you think you might not have compulsions,
you probably do...
You certainly compulsively check your thoughts.
You may have compulsions to avoid certain situations like babysitting, handling knives
or looking at specific people.
You may have compulsions to stay at home, not meet up with friends and often procrastination
creeps into your life - which is the compulsion to avoid doing things.
Can you see how subtle this is? There are compulsions, but they are more about avoiding
things than doing things.
And these intrusive thoughts cause you to doubt yourself and seek reassurance - whilst
at the same time, you may feel embarrassed to talk fully about the content of your thoughts,
so these can lead to very stressful situations.
Pure O tends to develop in people with creative minds and who tend to be a little more extroverted
or who have had their intrinsic outgoing nature suppressed somehow.
Imagine you were Stephen King or Stephen Speilberg - if you had thoughts about murder, rape or
knife attacks, you be saying, "Wow, what a great plot for a film, I love my mind, can
you come up with more ideas, please? What a great creative tool my mind is!"
They wouldn't be saying, "Oh my God, what if I do those things?"
But an anxious person seems to think that their thoughts are theirs, that they can control
them, rather than just being a function of the brain, the psyche or the ego.
Can you see how your perspective plays such a key role in recovery?
Our species are animals attempting to live as humans...
Over many millennia, we have evolved to suppress (or deny) the emotional urges of the animal
within us in favour of the logical and rational musings of the human.
Within us is the conflict between human logic and animal emotional instinct.
I'm married; therefore, I should not be attracted to another person; I am straight, so I should
not have gay thoughts, I am kind, so I should not become aggressive, the legal age for sex
is sixteen, so my mind should not have sexual thoughts about a fifteen-year-old...
Can you see this is the modern, conscious, logical prefrontal cortex of the brain - fighting
with the older, less verbal, more instinctual animal, emotional limbic areas of our brain
concerned with food, sex and fighting for survival?
It is fundamental for us to understand and accept that this is just how we evolved -we
are emotional animals who have learned to think logically.
But a person with Pure O is living like a thinking creature trying to stop their unconscious
thoughts and subsequent emotions. - But that is just regressive and will never result in
calmness!
So, when a person is ready to overcome Pure O, I think the key messages to consider are;
You are not your thoughts - your brain proposes thoughts, some of which are animal and emotional,
some of which are human and based on logic or reason.
You won't be able to stop thoughts completely; however, you can learn to ignore them and
realise you don't have to give them any meaning (like with your nighttime dreams); these are
just your brains daytime dreams.
Know that when exhaustion and change occur, Pure O can flare up; this is why many women
experience intrusive thoughts about harming their child during or soon after pregnancy,
and for many men in the second or third year of becoming a father.
It's all about emotional exhaustion from worrying too much. The same for University students
exhausted from exam stress, entrepreneurs, exhausted from working too hard or someone
in a stressful relationship.
Recognise that although you are focusing on your Pure O problem, be that the sexual or
harmful thoughts, these are the symptoms of your anxiety.
Your cause is emotional exhaustion, not living the life you want, the suppression of childhood
anger or trauma, and not comfortably becoming the more extroverted, creative and dominant
personality you know you intrinsically are.
And as you move the focus of your awareness away from the thoughts and onto you becoming
your authentic self, then changing your life - these thoughts will jump to other topics
and then begin to diminish.
We need to realise that fear is just an emotion; emotions are natural, we ARE emotional creatures;
therefore, it is possible to embrace fear and let the energy of it pass through us,
not resisting it or holding it down.
Finally, within us are the suppressed anger and trauma from adverse life events, which
need to be released, along with the out of date stories we may be running about unfairness,
guilt, shame or not feeling good enough.
This is how you overcome anxiety - by thinking and behaving in new ways, becoming a new person
- not by trying to stop the thoughts or avoiding your emotional fears!
Now, I'm just scratching the surface here, but if you would like to know more about my
recovery and all I learned from fourteen years as a therapist working with complex OCD...
Then, please subscribe to my anxiety and OCD recovery course.
Where, for the price of a coffee each month, you can access my extensive video collection
and have all your questions answered.
You'll also be helping me to keep producing quality content for anxious people who can't
afford to get professional help.
Thank you, and I wish you well on your journey to discover courage and calmness.