From why we can’t have a magnitude 10 earthquake, to whether we could dig a hole to China, my
name is Darlink and I’m here to answer everyone’s burning questions about life.
Hello dere.
I’m Danger Dolan and I’m here to blow your mind with TRUTH.
Why can't we freeze humans and unfreeze them 100 years later?
Theoretically this is possible to do, and in fact we have done so with small animals
like hamsters; however, thus far it’s been impossible to do for large animals or humans.
The problem are the jagged ice crystals that form when you’re frozen - these tend to
strip apart and destroy the cellular structure of the body beyond our ability to fix.
This isn’t even taking into account the revival process, where certain body parts
need blood pumping to function, so if the heart isn’t thawed quickly then you’ll
die anyway.
You would need a giant microwave to heat your body and organs fast enough, but it would
also cook you.
So that’s not ideal.
Before my brother went missing, he left a journal with a lot of scribbled notes and
a chapter on cryonics.
It makes sense because one time he tried to convince me to freeze myself for hundreds
of years.
He said it’d be worth the risk because there could be some distant point in the future
when they’ll have figured out a way to make me not smell.
It’s a shame that even after 2 years of sleep, the technology still isn’t there
yet.
To freeze people?
Or to make me not smell?
Well…
What was that?
What was what?
Come on, next question, we got a show to run here.
Okaaaaay…
What happens if someone dies with thousands of dollars of debt?
This depends on whether there is a “next of kin”, usually relatives who inherit money
and assets when the person dies.
If they died with big debt, but lots of money, then the debt collectors will attempt to take
that money - depending on where in the world this happened, as different countries and
states have different laws.
But if that same debt collector approaches a family member and demands money, nobody
in the family is forced to take up the deceased’s debt.
And there are a lot of ways to transfer assets or property to next of kin that protects them
from debt collectors - but only if this was sorted legally BEFORE death.
That’s why we invented the lottery.
People donate a few dollars for a slip of paper with some numbers on it, and that money
goes towards paying off all the debts from the irresponsible deceased.
Lottery winners?
A meme - a myth.
This scam has pulled many countries out of debt and people don’t even realise.
That’s why they call it the idiot tax.
See, that’s why I use a fake name when I max out credit cards and move countries.
In a pinch you can always freeze yourself for a hundred years and outlive the debt collectors.
I don’t need to wait a hundred years to outlive them >:)
Well I suppose 90 years might be enough, sure…
How do oxygen masks allow you to exhale without letting out the oxygen it’s giving you?
In actuality, oxygen masks leak plenty of oxygen that will escape as you exhale.
Most of these masks are not fitted tight to lock in the oxygen flow, as their purpose
is to supply you with a burst of oxygen rather than breathe for you.
This is different from something like sleeping gas administered to children - those are fit
tightly and held against their faces long enough for it to take effect, until their
airways are secured.
AXCTUALLY, oxygen masks have the smart capacity to be able to provide oxygen, but then suck
out the carbon dioxide from your lungs.
If you leave the mask on long enough, it’ll clean your nostrils, suck out your stomach
acid, your spleen, all of your blood, it’ll cleanse you of sin and then finally it’ll
suck so hard that it turns you inside out.
Did this actually happen to you?
I don’t think that was an oxygen mask, I think you were assaulted.
That can’t be right.
It put me to sleep while it was cleansing me, and when I woke up five hundred dollars
was missing from my wallet.
But that’s how much it costs, yeah?
Someone hit you with sleeping gas and robbed you.
It was relaxing though.
Is it robbery if I got something out of it?
Yes.
…well then Nixxiom owes me five hundred dollars.
Why wouldn’t a universal currency work?
Aside from the dangers of putting all our eggs in one basket, every country has their
own rules and regulations about their money that heavily impacts their culture and society
- to have one single currency would have far more negative effects than positive ones.
It would also be dangerous trusting the world’s currency to a single organisation, where it
could be used to exploit or control the entire world if it ended up in malicious hands.
It IS annoying needing to convert into so many different currencies, but it’s far
safer this way.
The closest thing we have to universal currency is crypto, which has no regulations or governments
to control it.
I’m pleased to announce my very own crypto now available: Dolands.
Purchasing one is easy!
First you register an account by solving a series of maths equations including Euclidean
and non-Euclidean geometries, game theory and combinatorics.
Then you compile and re-compile your unique code matrix-
Once you have Dolands you’ll compound each micro-currency with the master coin Ex-Dolands
only available on the first Tuesday of every third month at 10:32pm Alaska time-
To withdraw you’ll find a series of physical clues in various parts of the world, including
the deep sea, but only if you received a phone call that lasted precisely seventeen seconds
with the codeword “beer can” said with a Jamaican accent-
Has anyone bought your coin yet?
It depends how you define “bought”.
With money.
Well then…
no.
Why is it impossible to get a magnitude 10 earthquake?
Earthquakes are measured against the fault lines in the Earth.
To hit a magnitude 10 would require a fault line so big that it wraps around the entire
planet, which as far as we know does not exist.
In fact, the only possible way we could experience a magnitude 10 would be because of a meteor
striking the Earth, and at that point it’s not limited to 10.
If we were struck with a magnitude 11, we wouldn’t live to find out because the entire
surface of the Earth would be obliterated.
So… fingers crossed that never happens.
The butterfly effect is when a butterfly flaps its wings and it turns into an earthquake
on the other side of the globe.
The bigger the butterfly, the bigger the earthquake.
To make a level 10 earthquake, we’d need a butterfly the size of a skyscraper.
We tried this once but it ended up attacking several high density city blocks.
Mothra, I believe it was called.
It’s a good thing we found that giant lizard to fight it off.
Yeah.
Shame the lizard ALSO destroyed the city.
That movie-length documentary they made doesn’t do it justice.
Can you actually dig a hole to China?
We all attempted to do this as kids, but the sad reality is that there are many ways this
is impossible.
First off, you would need to be in Argentina to be on the opposite side of the world to
China.
You’d need a magic drilling device that can penetrate every layer of the Earth’s
crust.
And the Earth’s core would need to stop being molten lava for a while.
Gravity would need to be turned off so you’re not affected by the planet's rotation.
And you’d need some other way to breathe.
But aside from all that, there’s nothing stopping you from digging all the way down.
Yeah, na.
It’s surprising that people don’t seem to realise that China is a fictional place
only used in movies.
You think there’s a mystical land of dragons where they celebrate new years later than
everyone else?
The truth is if you dig straight down, you’ll pass the furnace of Earth’s core and eventually
end up in Satan’s lounge room.
That’s right - actual Hell.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
In Hell, they make you study for exams that don’t matter.
Ugh!
No!
They force you to participate in activities like reading, knitting, computer games - and
you have to talk about the “good ol’ days”...
STOP!
Stop stop stop.
I’m going to have nightmares.
And you’re tortured by giant buff demon men with long whips, verbally abusing you
into submission while spiders claw at your flesh…
Oh.
Well, I suppose I could endure reading some books…
I think there’s something wrong with you.
Is the 4th dimension something that actually exists?
If it does exist, we’re not sure what it is.
The three dimensions we know of are length, width and height.
People theorise that time is the fourth dimension, and in fact time IS considered a definite
dimension mathematically but we don’t know if it’s the same type of dimension as the
existing three.
It’s easier to think of them as co-ordinates - you have XYZ representing the length, width
and height of something, but then you also put a time that it occurred, like “a box
appeared here at X length, Y width and Z height, at 11:52pm”, so that’s measuring the “fourth
dimension”.
But this isn’t the same as the sci-fi concept of a “different dimension”.
Those have yet to be proven.
Are you sure about that?
In the last chapter of his notes, my brother goes into a lot of detail about the next dimension.
Apparently it’s a place with duplicates of us, but they’re all… different.
Everything there is thicker, and weird.
Come on.
Whatever he wrote in that notebook is fiction.
He was trying to mess with you.
Oh yeah?
Well how do you explain this page he wrote that reads: “Everything in this notebook
is fact.
I am not trying to mess with Dolan - despite the fact that he smells”? He even signed
it at the bottom.
That could have been forged.
And look - there’s a photo of him signing the page.
He’s been missing for years.
He’s probably nuts.
Here.
A doctor’s certificate declaring him legally sane.
Also forged.
Look.
A photo of him shaking hands with the doctor, PHD certificate in the background, as their
other hands co-sign the certificate with that day’s newspaper visible in frame.
Sure.
But who trusts newspapers anyway?
Those are so old-fashioned.
Well, you got me there.