(speaks Spanish) - Baby.
(pops) (quirky jazz music)
We're doing it in different languages, now.
(trills) (speaks Spanish)
Real time peeling.
(speaks Spanish)
(claps) Yeah!
Okay!
(speaks Spanish)
Do you remember that movie Selena?
That movie made me cry!
You know, I find myself, when drinking,
in a constant state of desiring Mexican food.
But to put that more accurately, you'd have to replace
the word "drinking" with "awake".
(grunts disgustedly)
Here's a personal pet peeve.
I really hate when guys are like,
(in low voice) "Ugh! I can drink you under the table!"
A: I have been drinking under the table.
Hello!
And B: you're like double my body weight.
Duh!
I bet I can out-crawl into tiny spaces you.
So...
If you live in a sublet, you may not always have cups.
Yeah, liquor.
(blender whirrs) (Hannah screams)
Jar-garitas.
This is just like, this is just a shot,
this is just a big shot.
(gasps and coughs)
Though I love the burrito, and I appreciate all food
that comes in tube form.
Uh, I prefer tacos.
Fact! A really important key to all Mexican delights
is what I like to call a shit ton of limes.
Summer colors.
Whoop! I have ground turkey
instead of beef, because I think cows are adorable.
So pretty!
Whereas a turkey looks like some sort of
terrifying nightmare monster.
I'm not gonna cut to anything.
Just picture a turkey!
Bleh! Horrible.
I don't even know why I want to eat 'em,
they look so gross.
(grunts) Mmm...
I messed up the camera angle, so you guys can't see it,
but this is what's happening.
(speaks Spanish)
Mmm... (burps)
While the cookie is shurkeying,
you should prepare your other ingredients.
(laughs) Accoutrements.
(speaks Spanish)
This cheese is great, Ted! (laughs)
I put the butt in butter knife.
(with Latino accent) Cilantro.
How do you say cilantro?
So you forgot lettuce before you drink.
So how you gonna make it,
how you gonna do it?
(crunches)
A tiny little bit of lettuce!
Wash it first.
Okay! Here we go.
(mumbles)
I just want a taco now!
I don't want to heat the oven.
(crashes) No!
(gags and coughs)
It's not like drinking wine.
(Latin music) Got a lime on my face.
So you've waited long enough for your tacos
to be done in the oven.
Tacos! (slams oven door)
So, you take a shell, which is so hot
it's burning your hand.
Fuck!
Then, tacos make a big mess.
See that? Now you eat it with your mouth.
Mmm...(crunches)
(mumbles)
(crunches)
Tacos are like nachos
but in your hand and not on a plate.
So, whoa.
(Latin music)
If you break your taco, you can...
It's like, you can chip it off.
Oh! (crunches)
The taco is the most versatile fruit.
(burps)
This is it for this week.
So I hope we all really learned a lot, yeah.
You should learn another language
so Americans seem less ignorant.
Right?
(muffled) A little extra flavor.
♫ Someone to clean up when you're making some tacos
♫ Tacos in your mouth are so good
♫ But you make a mess
♫ And everybody's like man I really wish
♫ I had a taco
♫ In my mouth
♫ Mouth ♫
Mm-yeah!
(quirky jazz music)
Put this on the top and then--
I'm a mix of both eastern and western Europe.
I think my eyes are really small.
Sriracha sauce is the Worcestershire sauce
of Thailand.
Does this look natural?
(laughs)
Watch out for swamp back.
(laughs)
Okay.
Have...
A great day.
(slow piano music)