My own experience of getting integrated into the New Zealand society hasn't been easy. I still feel
like I get treated like I've just arrived. I get to places, just because I'm a Black man people
speak to me louder, you know, and slower. They expect me not to understand what they're saying.
Well my name is Judah and I grew up in Botswana. I actually grew up in a village in Botswana
called Thabala. I met my wife, my late wife, in Botswana in the mid-90s. So we moved here
together in 2004. Unfortunately we lost her a few years ago to cancer. That's me as a young man,
a few years ago when I was still younger. Yeah and that's me and the boys back in the farm in
Africa. Fixing my pants and someone did the snap. Yeah this picture here is my father, my father
with Pako as a baby. When I first got here I had a culture shock because it's very different from
Botswana. First was the coldness. Living here I couldn't tell the difference between summer
and winter. It was all like, cold. It was and then the other thing was the language,
you know, I had to learn the Kiwi accent. I mean I spoke a little bit of English but it took me a
while to hear what Kiwis were saying you know, the English was different and then the general ways
of doing things was different so yeah, it was a culture shock. It took me a while to learn things.
Now this is made in Zimbabwe. That's my country home flag Botswana. That's
the landscape of Botswana. This is a typical savannah landscape.
Well here in Wellington I live with my wife, my young daughter Sethunya, my step-daughter Shiloh,
and my boys have got their own flats now. Our dad's into music. He's into sort of culture and
whatnot. I started a band in Nelson. That was like the time, my happy time, you know, when I got on
stage and played my songs and made people dance, it was my happy time. Music's not work for him or
anything like that. Like I think he'll be going out of his way to do gigs long after he retires
and stuff. Like it's a massive massive part of him. I think it's his meditation kind of thing
you know. It's something that he will always do no matter what stage he is in his life,
whether he's griefing or he's happy he always has music so I think music is a very big part of him.
I've studied a few things since I've been in New Zealand. When I came here my only
qualification was music and then because I'm always interested in culture as well
so it was anthropology that I decided, man this is what I need
and what interested me was the migration and you can guess that was because of my own experiences
so I went and studied at Victoria University. So I completed my Masters at the end of last year.
I'm pretty proud, you know, just finished his Masters and whatnot and when like when he first
moved here, he was just picking apples so it's pretty crazy. He's like done what he wanted to do.
Oh this was like the activism, marijuana activism back in Africa. Yeah I'm Rasta,
that is my biggest inspiration. Yes so Rasta - Rastafarianism or Rastafari movement,
it's not a religion it's a philosophy. Rasta was something that tells us that
we should be proud of who we are and be who we are and remember that it's our culture that
can help us to navigate the world. Yeah I mean he got kicked out of high school
in Botswana. I don't know if he told you guys but he like started a mass riot.
He's like a bit of a hippie or whatever, started a big riot at the school and apparently like half
the field caught on fire and he got expelled for instigating like a riot at the school. Just like
some hippie like let-me-have-my-dreadlocks type stuff but yeah yeah yeah 'cause they're real
strict like you have to have like your hair shaved and stuff and being a Rastafarian like dreadlocks
like long hair is a real sort of core part of the you know the culture the religion I guess.
Getting someone to employ me, I found that it's impossible, including government. I have
applied for policy work, I've applied for also even simple entry-level jobs,
didn't get any. You know it's always like a "sorry, unsuccessful" "sorry, unsuccessful".
It's heartbreaking to see him work so hard to try get to a certain position and then you know fall
short so close to everything. He's not picky about what job it is you know what I mean so
yeah it's heartbreaking to see him not even getting the smallest little position
in a place that he wants to work. I think he was sort of expecting, you know, to finish study
and then come out and then you know breathe into a good job save money go back to Africa.
Not getting a job doesn't surprise me. I feel like racism plays a part in there you know,
and I've been looking for work for the last 10 years
and the only work I can get is unskilled work I can tell you that. I've done agriculture,
I've done horticulture, I've done gardening. The way it happens is like because I'm not a proper
Kiwi it's hard for me to get the proper Kiwi job so I've got to get the ones that Kiwis don't like.
It was one of those long days, I'd been gardening all day and then the lawnmower broke
and then this blade stopped spinning and then I thought what's going on here, and I went to have
a look. I forgot to turn it off because I was so tired and I put my hand underneath and then the
blade starts spinning again. Split second and I pull out my finger, the bone was sticking out.
I come to New Zealand with full ten fingers and I'm gonna go back with nine and a half.
We were on the way back from Pak'N'Save one time and like these guys just like pulled up next to us
and they're just like driving real slow and doing like Nazi salutes out the car and we're like oh
yeah and then started shouting, "N*****, f*** off n*****," you know, things like that, in front of
our kids. Those kind of things, they do hurt and you don't forget about them, you know, you can't
forget that. It makes you feel self-conscious and it makes you be aware of how people are looking at
you and people's actions and people's remarks and words, and even actions to other people you know.
It makes you uncomfortable, it makes you feel like you are not home. Yeah that was pretty much
the last straw. He decided from there that we have to move to wellington because it was a bit
more diverse and felt a little bit more welcome than Nelson. Wanna have a vegetarian burger.
Wow, you're still going–
I'm still vegetarian. This time I've put my foot down and I'm not going back to meat.
You're really going all out.
Yeah man, I'm trying to eat healthy but now and then I'll have a bit of cheese.
I'm sure now and then you have some meat too eh?
I do miss Botswana terribly. I kind of like go through waves of homesickness you know,
there is times when I get really really homesick and I really want to go.
I miss a lot of things. I miss my family, I miss speaking my language, and being with
my people, you know, so I miss a lot of things.
Like he's always thought about going back home of course that was always the plan but I feel like
now he's rushing to get go back home because he just doesn't feel, he's had enough of everything.
I mean the thing that held me here was I wanted my boys to grow up and
I think they are now at an age where going home has become like part of my everyday thinking
and then my father passing away a couple of months ago
and I feel like I need to go home and I'm not growing, you know, like I'm not getting younger
and I don't want to be an old man here. That is one of my concerns, I don't want to be an old
man in New Zealand. I would rather be an old man back in Africa. I love New Zealand, I've got great
family here, you know, my wife's family and I got good friends. But there's no place like home.
foreign