How to deal with difficult people - The biblical way or Jesus's way? I think if you have lived here
long enough on earth or if you've been married, going to church or ministering with people,
you probably have encountered difficult people. Some of you are probably married to one of the
difficult people. Maybe you're raising very stubborn and you know strong-willed children.
Perhaps your boss is that difficult person or an employee. I believe that these principles that
I'm going to share with you not only they will be good principles but also very practical and
helping us to navigate the relationships with people. People are the greatest joy in our life
and are also the greatest pain in our life. So let's dive in. Number one is Jesus prayed before
a difficult situation with difficult people. A lot of times going before work or you're going to have
a meeting you know and you know that it's going to get very difficult, it's important to pray.
Jesus prayed in the garden before all the hell broke loose. Judas betrayed Him, His disciples
forsook Him and Pharisees accused Him of things and pilot and Herod you know had his soldiers
beat Him and people doubted and questioned Him on the cross and so all of this, Jesus went before
all of this and He just spent time in prayer. I think a lot of times when we don't pray, we begin
to you know experience the weight of the difficult situations and they take us down. I don't believe
that prayer helps me to avoid difficult people or always change difficult people but it does change
my attitude in being the disciple of Jesus Christ in situation with difficult people. Number two is
that Jesus exercised self-control and He didn't speak meaning, He actually caused people to marvel
because of His silence. A lot of times you know we want to share a piece of our mind when we go
through a very difficult time with difficult people and sometimes, the things that you get
accused against your critics or your haters are not going to be changed in their perspective of
you no matter what you say and so it's important to differentiate when we need to speak and when we
not need to speak. Most of the times that I got in trouble in dealing with difficult people is
because of what I said. I could have avoided that if I would have kept my mouth shut and because we
don't spend a lot of time in prayer, we tend to talk and run our mouth in dealing with difficult
people instead of opening our mouth in prayer so then we can keep it shut in situations where we
shouldn't say anything. We should just listen. We should just ponder and take it to prayer to
God again for God to give us wisdom. Number three Jesus took the beating and this is the hard one
for me because you know I want to defend myself a lot of times in arguing with people or maybe
you know proving a point, defending my pride, my ego or whatever. Jesus didn't do that. Jesus
took the beating. He let Himself be rejected. He let Himself be betrayed. He let Himself be beaten
and I think on this side of eternity, we have to embrace the life of the cross which means
sometimes the Holy Spirit is going to produce a fruit of long-suffering. Sometimes as a soldier
in God's army, you're going to have to endure suffering. Sometimes persecution will come and
you're gonna have to take it. You're gonna have to embrace pain. You're gonna have to embrace that
not avoid it and not fight it. I'm not talking about a toxic relationship. I'm not talking about
taking a physical beating from your husband or maybe your boyfriend, I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about when the situation you've done everything you can and it's just hurting you and
it's hard and it seems like if I would have been just closer to God, I wouldn't have to endure this
but it's not always the case. Jesus was God and He endured that. He's a man of suffering and people
who follow Him, will have to learn to increase their capacity for taking pain. Number four. Jesus
poured out His heart to the Father. Jesus didn't just bottle all that pain in. He released that.
Crying out to the Father, 'Why have You forsaken Me?' and I think it's important to realize that we
have to have an outflow. We have to have a place where we can release that pain,
where we can release that hurt in prayer and sometimes to another believer who is mature
and who can walk alongside with us. Sometimes it's through your spouse where you come in and
you unburden yourself by letting them carry that burden with you or to somebody that
you trust. Number five, Jesus forgave before those who caused Him suffering, apologized.
A lot of us are willing to forgive if the people who have caused us pain will acknowledge their
fault and repent genuinely. Jesus didn't do that. He did not wait for people that caused Him pain
to apologize. Judas didn't apologize to Jesus. Peter didn't apologize to Jesus right there and
then. Pharisees didn't apologize to Jesus. A lot of people didn't apologize to Jesus. Jesus
forgave them that tells me that, I have to take the work that Jesus did in dealing with difficult
people upon myself as well. He actually commands me to forgive those who wound me,
hurt me and caused me emotional pain. Number six is while suffering, Jesus responded to the Father,
He did not react to the people. This is huge because while being on the cross,
He didn't curse people. He didn't pronounce all kinds of things that people do nowadays
when they come under attack. He actually on the cross was responding to the Father.
He was speaking to the Father while people were accusing Him. A lot of times when we
find ourselves in a very difficult situation with people, I know that's my weakness and my struggle
is I tend to react to people instead of respond to the Father while I'm being attacked by people.
Sometimes ministers go as far as or people go as far as cursing other people, pronouncing
doom and gloom and you know saying what's going to happen to those people because they came against
the holy men of God, that wasn't Jesus's way. He didn't react, He responded. Number seven is
Jesus ministered to people while suffering. I mean He healed the guy in the garden. He
led a person to salvation on the cross. He arranged housing for His mama while suffering.
He did all of that while hurting. Sometimes we think that if I am hurting, that's it. I
can't help anybody. I can't love anybody. I can't make my bed. I can't clean my car,
my garage. I can't serve at the church no more. Why? Because I'm hurting and though there are
certain places I think we should take a break from if we are really going through hell but if you
completely stop serving and you absorb this whole pain and you make your whole world about you,
you're becoming selfish and pain can make you selfish and sometimes actually that is what
prolongs our pain and what causes things not to change with people because we are selfish.
The best way to get out of the place of pain faster and healthier is serving
other people because serving causes me not to look at myself but to look at others
and I find joy that doesn't come from my circumstances but comes from God
and I see God flowing with His miracles, signs and wonders through my life through your life,
if we don't focus on our pain but we focus on God's purpose regardless of our pain. Number
eight, Jesus received help from others. We see that angels strengthened Him in the garden. We see
that people gave Him you know something to drink as He was on the cross. We see that other people
ministered to Jesus. In fact even Mary poured out you know very expensive perfume on Jesus before
that. Jesus received ministry sometimes when we are hurting and we're still able to serve
our family or maybe serve other people while suffering ourselves, it's important that we are
open to receiving ministry from others, through a prophetic word, a word of encouragement, a prayer.
Don't close yourself and say, No, I don't need. I'm fine. Well, if you're not fine, if you're
bleeding, you're not fine and it's okay to be not okay and it's okay to come to the altar and say,
Hey, I'm hurting. I just need some prayer. It's okay to come up to text somebody and say, Hey,
I'm not doing good. Could you pray for me? Could you meet with me? It's okay to receive ministry.
In fact not only it's okay, it's highly encouraged because it shows our humility, we need each other
and Jesus received ministry from others while He Himself was suffering. Somebody else took His body
from the cross. Somebody else wrapped His body. Somebody else put all kinds of things on His body
and put it in the grave. Somebody else offered the grave. Jesus received ministry from others,
so should you, so should I. Number nine is Jesus did not associate with Pharisees after
His resurrection. I want to highlight something. Jesus did not go to people
who caused the deepest suffering. Now we know He was suffering for our sins. We know it was part
of God's plan but there's also relationship principles that are in His suffering that we
all can learn from. Part of that relationship principle is you should distance yourself from
people who are not repentant in their toxic behavior. There are people in our life who
cause us a lot of pain. Maybe you're with an abusive boyfriend or an abusive husband
and forgiving and you know maybe even learning to let go of unforgiveness and all of this stuff,
releasing that and coming to somebody for praying for you and all of this stuff is good but if a
person that is causing you pain is non-repentant then you have to create a distance. You have to
isolate yourself from people that are causing you physical harm. That is the wise thing to
do. You don't see Jesus after His resurrection showing up to Pilate and Herod and Pharisees.
He avoided them. He didn't go to them. He went to His disciples and He went to people
that received Him and I think we should learn from that. Staying in a toxic relationship
is not godly, it's foolish. It's foolishness. We should avoid those places and those people.
Forgive them but you can't reconcile and restore until they have repented
and number ten. Jesus rose again and I believe so will you, if you follow Jesus's way. The way
of the cross, the way of meekness, the way of mercy, the way of forgiveness, the way of
love, the way of long-suffering, the way of kindness is the way of death. It's where our
soul life, it's where our natural life dies. It's where we die to our you know selfish ways
and if we do that, we will experience His life. The resurrected life. We will experience new
level in our relationships, I truly believe that. We will experience God's grace in dealing with
people. We will change and as a result, we will experience a different kind of relationship with
the people that God will lead us to minister to and to receive ministry from. I pray that God will
give you strength and courage. Whatever you're going through right now, maybe with difficult
people, that God will give you wisdom, kindness, mercy, and most importantly ability to suffer in
the way that honors Him. Wisdom to run away from relationships that you shouldn't be in anymore and
the strength to endure those things that you're supposed to endure by the grace of God. Thank
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