You know, generational legacy is a powerful thing.
But so is choice.
So is free will.
You absolutely have the right to choose.
Sometimes, we don't know how to exercise choice.
My son, Justin, is angry.
He's an alcoholic and he's addicted to marijuana.
He has very real mental illness.
When he does drink, his personality changes
and he scares me.
Justin and his girlfriend are so outta control
that I fear for the safety of them,
and for my grandchildren.
Justin and Hannah fight daily.
Justin has been arrested at least 12 times
for drunk driving, possession of marijuana,
assault on a police officer, a nurse,
assault on me.
I think the safest place for Justin's jail.
Justin and Hannah are not healthy enough at this time
to raise their children.
I am 100% sure that Justin is emotionally
and verbally abusive to Hannah.
I am 90% sure that he's physically abusive.
He has put his hands on her and given her a black eye.
I don't think Justin and Hannah should be together at all.
I fear that Justin could take his own life,
my grandchildren's life,
and he could even take Hannah's life.
You think you have an anger problem?
Absolutely.
Okay, and you think you have an alcohol problem?
Yes.
Okay, and this is not past, this is current?
You have that problem today?
Yes, I've been working on it,
since I got arrested for my second DUI.
I've been completely sober and it's a decision that I've
made for myself, not anyone else.
Like, in the past, I've always thought that I could stay,
I had to be sober for the courts,
Or I had to be sober for other people.
And this is a decision that I made at my life,
and at this point in my life,
that I need to do this for myself so I can be there
for my kids, for my girlfriend, for my family.
You wanna see, what, happen in this family?
I wanna see them both get help.
I want you two to be okay.
I want you guys to realize this is not normal.
Yes, I was abused and how quickly did I leave?
The first time it happened in front of you,
is the first time I left and the last
time I left.
The next person, went like this to you in the mouth,
I pushed him out the back door, shut the door, done.
Was that before or after he took your head
and pushed it under the water, That was
when we watched that. But that was me.
Was that before or after that?
Because, there was a And I'm very sad about that.
year relationship that continued after that, so.
Justin, I make no excuses.
For every bad decision I've said on tape,
I've not made a right one yet.
Both of you are right.
You're exactly right,
I mean, everything that you're just describing
that you've been exposed to,
had a profound impact on you.
Just as much as everything you're now doing,
will have profound impact on your children.
The same way this has had a profound impact on you.
Disfunction, disfunction, disfunction, disfunction.
And this is a place that it can begin to stop,
and start healing.
But I can tell you the best thing you can do,
is break things down to the most basic level.
The most basic unit that you possibly can.
And ask yourself, "What is it I want,
what do I want in my life?"
Make a list, I mean just get out a piece of paper
and do a Ben Franklin T.
Ben Franklin use to get a piece of paper
and he would draw a T.
And he would put on the left-hand side, the pros.
And on the right-hand side, the cons.
And he would say, "These are the pros,
these are the things that support an idea.
These are the things against the idea."
And you can do this by saying,
"What do I want in my life,
what are things going on that I want to keep?
What are the things going on in my life
that I want to get rid of?"
And then you at least identify what you want in your life,
and what you don't.
Because you need to be working
for what you want more of in your life,
and to eliminate what you want less of in your life.
That's where you start.
If you want less of yelling and screaming,
then put that on that side of the list.
If you want more of peace, and love, and harmony,
and productivity, put that on the side.
If you want less toxic people in your life,
put their names over there.
Get rid of people in your life who are toxic,
who tell you how worthless you are,
who create chaos.
Begin at the basics,
and determine what you want more of in your life,
and what you want less of in your life.
Generational legacy is only passed on
if you are the carrier, if you are the messenger.
Carry forward the things you want,
leave behind the things you don't.
(triumphant music)