>> A STORY IN FIVE WORDS.
>> Kat: A STORY IN FIVE
WORDS --
DISNEY TELLS GUESTS TO BEHAVE.
ALL RIGHT, DREW, I GUESS THE
HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH --
>> Drew: NOT SO HAPPY.
IT IS IF YOU THINK IT IS THE
HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH, I FEEL
SO SORRY FOR YOU.
IF YOU ARE NEVER HAPPIER THAN AT
DISNEYLAND, THAT MIGHT BE WHY,
PEOPLE ARE PUNCHING EACH OTHER
BECAUSE THEY SET THE BAR SO
HIGH, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPIER
THAN WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT HERE,
AND YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, SO YOU
START PUNCHING PEOPLE.
>> Drew: WITHOUT EXCEPTION,
HALFWAY THROUGH THE DAY YOUR
KIDS ARE OVERSTIMULATED AND
START REALLY BECOMING A
BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM.
AND PEOPLE ARE VERY UPTIGHT, I
FIND IT ODD THAT A LOT OF THIS
HAPPEN IN TOON TOWN, AND I
WONDER --
I WONDER IF THE VIOLENCE OF LIKE
A ROGER RABBIT IS ENCOURAGING,
AND PEOPLE WITH MALLETS AND
THINGS, I WONDER IF THAT
ENCOURAGES BEHAVIOR.
>> Kat: BE THE MAGIC YOU WANT
TO SEE IN THE WORLD, FIRST OF
ALL, OKAY.
ALSO, WHAT IF THE MAGIC YOU WANT
TO SEE IS MORE FIGHTS?
>> Adam: I HAVE BEEN IN A GOOD
MOOD AT DISNEYLAND, AND THEN YOU
FIND OUT THAT THEY WANT $17 FOR
H EUR, AND YOU START ROLLING UP
YOUR SLEEVES AND WANTING TO
THROW DOWN WITH ANYBODY AROUND
YOU.
SO IF THEY DO NOT GOUGE FOR THE
FOOD, THAT MIGHT HELP A LITTLE
BIT, BUT IT IS KIND OF
INTERESTING THAT WE ARE LIVING
IN A TIME WHERE PEOPLE ARE
GETTING INTO FIST FIGHTS ON
COMMERCIAL AIRLINE FLIGHTS AND
DISNEYLAND.
LIKE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, IF
YOU SAID OR DO YOU FIGHT?
IT WOULD BE BARS AND BOWLING
ALLEYS, AND HOW ABOUT THE PAN AM
FLIGHT,, YOU GO ZERO FIGHTING
THERE.
IT’S FOR BARS AND POOL HALLS AND
BOWLING ALLEYS.
AND HAS GONE UP 7000%.
>> Cheryl: THIS IS WHY DISNEY
STOCK IS DOWN, AND IT’S THE
BIGGEST REVENUE GENERATOR FOR
DISNEY OVERALL, AND I CAN’T
BELIEVE THE LANGUAGE, CAN WE ALL
JUST GET ALONG, I MEAN SHOCKER
TO NO ONE.
THEY HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS AT
DISNEY, THIS IS ONE OF THE
SMALLER ONES, BUT WHAT CAN I
SAY, FIGHTS AT PETER PAN, IS
THIS WHAT WE COME DOWN TO?
I THINK THEY ARE MAD ABOUT THE
ADMISSION PRICE.
I THINK THAT HE IS RIGHT.
>> Kat: HONESTLY, AND I MIGHT
NOT BE MOST PEOPLE, BUT HEARING
THAT IT IS SOME SORT OF LAWLESS
HEALTH SCAPE MAKES ME WANT TO GO
GO.
>> Tyrus: YEAH, I LIKE THIS.
AS LONG AS THEY ARE PUNCHING
DISNEY ADULTS, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M
SAYING?
THE 35-YEAR-OLD WITH THE
MICKEY MOUSE --
GO AWAY.
SWING AWAY, LIKE WITH THE KID.
>> Kat: ADULTS ON THEIR
HONEYMOON AT DISNEYLAND, YOU
MAKE ME SICK!
[APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: YEAH, YOU HAVE THE
KIDS, IT’S HOT, YOU AND THE
WIFE, IT’S LIKE THEY FOUR, AND
YOU ARE WALKING, AND SOME JACK
ASS TAKES A KNEE AND PROPOSES AT
DISNEY AND YOU GET THE LOOK LIKE
YOU NEVER DID THAT FOR ME!
IT WAS NOT UNTIL I HAD THE
SECOND ONE THAT YOU MARRIED ME.
YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT AND
THE GUY IS LIKE, WILL YOU TAKE
OUR PICTURE?
GO AWAY.
THERE IS A SILVER LINING HERE,
LIKE YOU’RE HURTING FOR MONEY,
RIGHT?
DISNEY FIGHT!
YOU DON’T SAY, GET THE CLUB, SET
UP THE TEACUPS AROUND HERE!
DONALD DUCK, PERFECT THREAT, HE
GOES OFF,, AND USED TOOK US ON
CARTOONS, SLOW DOWN COMING SEE
IT NOW.
HE GOT MAD AND ALWAYS TRY TO
FIGHT, BRING HIM IN THERE, USE
THE CHIPMUNKS IN THE CORNER AND
LET’S MAKE SOME MONEY, GOOFY
REFEREE, LET’S DO THIS!
>> Drew: TO BREAK DOWN OUR
CIVILITY.
>> Kat: GOING TO DISNEY ON
YOUR HONEYMOON, WHERE DO YOU
WANT TO GO?
A PARK FULL OF KIDS!
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
>> Tyrus: THEY FIGHT AT DISNEY
BECAUSE THEY CAN’T FIGHT, SO THE
POINT, THEY DON’T FIGHT IN BARS
AND ALLEYS, BECAUSE NO ONE IS
THERE TO BREAK IT UP, SO THE
THING, LET’S GET IT ON, DISNEY!
PEOPLE WILL BE LIKE, PLEASE,
STOP, DON’T DO IT.
AT THE BAR, 20 ON THE TALL GUY!
>> Kat: I AM WITH YOU ON THIS
ONE, I THINK WE ARE ONTO
SOMETHING.
>> Tyrus: PEOPLE SLAP FIGHT AT
DISNEY IS NOT SOMETHING I AM
INTO.
>> Adam: THE GOOD NEWS IS THEY
ARE ALL MORBIDLY ABUSE NOW, SO I
AM THIS CLOSE TO GETTING OUT OF
THIS SCOOTER.
AND OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP ASS.
I HAVE A $17 CHURRO, MY BLOOD
SUGAR IS HIGH!
>> Tyrus: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
HIM GO SWING ON SOMEBODY AT
DISNEYLAND, THAT WOULD MAKE MY
CAREER.
COULD YOU IMAGINE, I GOT PUNCHED