[Shannon] You have to understand, there's more to this story that I know, but won't tell you
even though you need to know
you'll just have to trust me regardless of the fact that you have NO reason to trust me
Now c'mon
Let's get out of here
[Burnie] Cut!
Perfect!
Nice man
[Geoff] C'mon out of the booth
[Shannon] Yeah? Good?
[Burnie] Yeah, nailed it. Shannon: Thanks.
(yawns) Oh man.
[Geoff] Hey, are you okay?
[Shannon] Yeah, I'm just beat.
We had rehearsal until 2am
Our new play opens up tonight. So-
I am about to run home and catch some z's
'til I have to be back at the theater.
[Burnie] Which theater? The one downstairs?
[Shannon] Yeah.
[Burnie] Well why go all the home just to come back up here?
Why don't you go to our conference room, crash on the couch
We can wake you up when it's time for your show.
[Shannon] Yeah?
[Burnie] Yeah!
[Geoff] No problem.
[Shannon] You sure?
[Burnie] Why wouldn't we be sure?
[Shannon] I-I don't know
I just-
[Shannon] Just right back in here, right? [Burnie] Yeah.
(heartbeats)
[Shannon] Huh? What-
What are you doing? Whats going on?
[Burnie] GREAT! He's awake-
[Geoff] I'll go get some more ice.
[Shannon] Wait- What are you doing to me?
[Burnie] We are encasing you in ice.
[Shannon] I'm freezing-
[Burnie] Yeah, that's because of all the ice but now that you're awake
we can finally start your briefing.
[Shannon] Briefing?
[Burnie] Yeah.
[Geoff] Okay, I got the ice. We can cover his head whenever you're ready!
[Burnie] Well that's exciting news.
[Shannon] What- why are you doing this?
[Burnie] Because we are sending you to the future.
[Shannon] What?!
[Burnie] Yeah. We are going to cryogenically freeze you and then wake you up
like
you know thirty or forty years from now.
[Shannon] Geoff!
[Burnie] It's a great idea.
[Shannon] Geoff?
Get me out of this box.
[Geoff] No, silly! You've got to be in a box that's where all the ice is.
[Burnie] Okay, now look. When you do wake up in the future you're gonna have to find us. Okay?
Time Magazine says that Americans are becoming more racially and culturally
diverse
all the time so the future versions me probably not gonna look like this
we did some computer simulations; I'm gonna look a something
like this.
Okay.
Now this is the important part. When you find me
you need to give me the following information
need to tell me to go to the nearest stock market and buy stock
[Burnie] in the following companies: [Shannon] Wait- what?
[Burnie] A. Google
B. Apple
C. Whatever the company is that makes email.
[Shannon] Wait wait. That's not how time travel works! You have to send me back if you wanted to-
[Geoff] (sighs) He's not buying it.
[Burnie] Yeah, listen. We knew you might not like the plan.
[Geoff] "What's in it for you", right?
[Burnie] 'K first of all, you get to keep the stock tips.
Those are yours to use for free.
[Geoff] and you can bet any sports teams that you may remember
[Burnie] Another thing we're gonna do for ya' is this: We're gonna send you to the future
with modern-day currency which by the time you arrive
will be valuable collector's item.
[Shannon] Those are photocopies!
[Geoff] Yeah, well, we spent out actually money on this box.
this thing was expensive!
[Shannon] Look, you guys seem to have
thought all this through. So why didn't just one of you guys go?
[Burnie] Oh, come on. What're kidding me? You're the perfect candidate!
I mean first of all you got a shaved head, right?
[Geoff] In the future, they love that shit.
[Burnie] and we all know that eventually America's gonna be overtaken by China
you already speak Chinese!
[Shannon] I don't speak Chinese!
[Geoff] Oh no?
you spoke it pretty well at lunch today.
[Shannon] You ordered Kung Pao chicken!
[Burnie] Kung Pao.
[Geoff] You're gonna blend right in.
[Burnie] You're just gonna be another half-black
half-latino bald dude walking around eaten 'n speaking Chinese stuff.
[Geoff] Except you''ll
have the greatest stock tips in the history of mankind.
[Burnie] and you'll have a pocketful a vintage currency.
[Geoff] We're gonna be rich.
[Burnie] Let's get the lid!
[Shannon] Please, please don't do this!
[Burnie] Shh look look look look just close your eyes and go to sleep.
Just like bein' on a plane
You fall asleep and wake up in Seattle- except Seattle's the future.
[Geoff] Hold your breath!