In this video, we're going to be talking about five signs that your ex never really loved
you. First, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because
you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. And if
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We are also going to be talking a lot about your ex's emotions. If you do want to learn
more about your ex's emotional world, how to navigate it, how to connect with them,
we do have our course called the Ex Solution Program. You can find out info on that down
in the description box below this video. But if it's right for you, cool, sign up, if it's
not right for you, that's totally fine. I'm not going to twist your arm for it or anything
like that. All right, so let's go ahead and get into this. The first sign that your ex
never really loved you is that they didn't open up to you emotionally. Maybe the two
of you were together for some sort of fling, or maybe you were even together longterm,
but you just never really had a lot of these meaningful, significant emotional connections.
Now, I've talked in many videos in the past about an emotional connection, a positive
interaction. What exactly does this mean? And sometimes people don't exactly understand
what that means. It can definitely take the form of banter and flirting and stuff like
that, but it should have a little bit more substance to it than just some simple jokes
or something. It should start to allow the two of you to start to go deeper and deeper
and to start to connect on some more meaningful subject matter for both of you. Where do you
see your lives going? What's important to you? What your values are, what your goals
are, what your regrets are, all of these things. If you're able to have these sorts of conversations
on that deeper emotional level, then it shows that there is a significant emotional connection
there, and that's something that actually the love bond, if you can call it that, starts
to form around that deep emotional connection. If that's lacking, then there's probably not
too much of a possibility that there was a real sense of love.
Yeah, they may have idealized you, put you up on some sort of pedestal or something like
that, but if they never actually formed that connection with you, the real you, then they
probably didn't actually learn to love you for the person that you are. The second sign
that your ex never really loved you as if they were only interested in you physically.
I think should be pretty obvious to most people, but if they were just trying to hook up with
you, if they're just trying to get close to you, if they're just trying to get physically
close to you, I'm trying to keep this family friendly, guys, I mean, you never know who's
in the background while these videos are playing, but if they were just only interested in you
physically, then that shows that there was, again, that lack of emotional depth in your
connection.
And, again, a physical connection is important. It absolutely is important, but there should
be more depth than that. Oftentimes, people will just prioritize the physical connection
because, I mean, obviously it feels good. And on the other side of things, people are,
in a lot of ways, really terrified of the friend zone so they want to push that physical
connection to make sure they don't end up in the friend zone. But if it's coming at
the cost of not having an emotional connection and an emotional bond, you risk the real chance
that they might never actually love you. So you want to be able to be careful about that.
The third sign that your ex never really loved you is if you were a rebound relationship
for them. We have a whole video playlist on the topic of rebound relationships. You can
check that rebound relationship playlist up there in the video card.
But basically, if they were using their connection that they had with you as a way of dealing
with a previous relationship, a previous breakup, and they weren't really connected to you,
but they were more connected to the idea of being in a relationship or the idea of being
over their ex and you just happened to be in the right place at the right time, then
you may have ended up as a rebound relationship for them. And, of course, rebound relationships
can go on to form wonderful, beautiful, authentic connections, but they have to come out of
that in their own way. It's not just a matter of, well, we have to just keep it together
for a certain period of time, that way you're over your ex or something.
You have to be able to stay there with your partner and work through some of their emotional
challenges that come up as they're dealing with the previous relationship or as they're
dealing with the loss of that other partner. And so rebound relationships obviously have
a poor track record, and they obviously have a reputation fraught with challenges, and
the reason why is, because people aren't dealing with their emotions. Yes, it is possible to
have a successful rebound relationship, but it has to go in a certain way that allows
the two of you to actually explore your emotional depth and form a real genuine connection that's
not just a reaction to some previous relationship.
Okay, the fourth sign that your ex never really loved you is if they were emotionally unavailable.
Now, emotional unavailability is a similar thing to rebound relationships. In fact, rebound
relationships are a form of emotional unavailability. But if your ex is emotionally unavailable
for other reasons, not just a previous relationship or a previous breakup, but if they're emotionally
unavailable for other reasons, like they're just in love with this idea of perfection,
they're just always onto the next best thing there, they're not ready to commit to something
because they're wondering if there's going to be another greater thing out there, or
something like that, then chances are, they may never have really loved you, because they
were just so focused on, "Well, what's actually missing here? What could be better about this?"
and they were hoping to find that in something else.
And so that's a tricky thing to go through. Emotional unavailability is an entirely different
topic and an entirely challenging topic as well too. But people are emotionally unavailable
after a breakup. Sometimes people can pull themselves together and become emotionally
available again. But sometimes people are just emotionally unavailable before, during,
and after a relationship and that just carries through. So you have to be careful about this
whole idea of emotional availability, emotional unavailability. And oftentimes if your partner
is emotionally unavailable, it is a reflection of your own emotional unavailability as well
too. So there's an entire wealth of information. We can go into the topic of emotional unavailability,
but that is probably a topic for another video or maybe a series of videos. But just know
that if your ex was emotionally unavailable in your relationship together, then potentially
they never really loved you to begin with. And the fifth sign that your ex never loved
you is if you hid who you are from them.
If you were caught up in this compulsive need that so many people have to try to be someone
or something other than who they are, then your ex never really got to know you, and
even if they did love you, they really only loved this act that you were putting on, whether
that was trying to be hard to get, whether that was trying to be high status, whether
that was trying to come across this way or that way, or something else. And again, there's
absolutely nothing wrong if you are high status, if you are hard to get, if you are an alpha
male or an alpha female. That's totally okay. But if you are putting on some mask to project
that facade out there and it's just an act, then that is not allowing them to get to know
you for who you are, and that's just going to create this barrier that's going to stop
them from actually connecting with you, loving you, getting to know you, feeling close to
you, and creating an actual loving bond with you, who you are.
Even if they wanted to, they're just interacting with this act, this performance that you're
putting on, and that's not cool. What I want for you, obviously, if you've watched enough
of my videos, you know the beginning, I want you to be loved for who you are, not someone
or something that you're not. And if you're playing this role of someone else, if you're
trying to someone else, then it's going to be very, very, very hard for them to form
a meaningful, significant and authentic relationship with you that's going to allow them to love
you for who you are. So you want to get in the habit of practicing vulnerability, practicing
showing them who you are, practicing being okay with who you are, practicing owning everything
that you think is imperfect about you. And that's going to give them the chance to really
love you.
So, anyway, I hope you found this video helpful. If you do want to learn more about your ex's
emotional world, how to navigate it so that you can create a new connection with them,
and maybe even get back together with them, feel free to check out our course called the
Ex Solution program. That's down in the description box below. But either way, I hope you found
this helpful. If you did, give this video a thumbs up so we can help boost this video
and other videos on this channel in the YouTube search algorithm. But if you want to learn
more about your ex's five stages that they go through in their journey of getting back
together with you, you might want to check out this video series over here. Or might
want to check out this video right here. But thank you so much for watching. Once again,
my name is Clay with modernlove.life. I hope you found this video helpful. Thank you so
much. Please take care, and I'll talk to you in the next video.