Around 2019,
he suddenly called me on my mobile.
He was telling me that
he feels that his mind
is not in the right form.
And then he always thinks of weird stuff.
And then he started quarrelling with my mum,
saying, “Why do you want to divorce?”
all these things, which
my mum didn't actually say all those.
It was all from him.
He was the one imagining all these things.
I managed to book an appointment with KTPH.
And then they did a scan
on my dad’s brain.
Then after that,
it was confirmed that he did have dementia.
This is my dad.
His name is Ho Shien Joo,
but usually people call him James.
That time when we were staying together,
every time he throws a tantrum,
I would feel very stressed and
I would also lose my temper
when that happens.
So when he actually scolds my mum,
I can't take it.
I would also scold him back.
I would say that,
“Why are you doing this?
Mum is not saying all this.
And you are the one that's making all this up.”
So it’s like my mum is already crying.
And then after that,
he still keeps scolding her
and then becomes very violent.
Some of these symptoms and signs of dementia
really depends on the stage and severity of dementia.
Some patients may start to develop changes
with regards to their personality,
mood and behaviour.
We do have patients who become
more agitated or aggressive.
It's also important to know
how we should tackle this behaviour
when it happens as well.
Because sometimes,
the way they act out
also depends on how we interact with them.
Before he was diagnosed with dementia,
he was a very introverted person.
A lot of things he keeps to himself,
so only when we talk to him,
or maybe if the TV is showing some shows,
then he will talk to us.
He likes to share his life stories with others,
and during the weekends,
he will spend his time reading the papers,
every page I would say.
He was first admitted
because of the swelling in the knee.
And then we sent him to A&E.
When he was in the hospital,
he was also actually not eating that well.
It might be because we couldn't visit him.
And then my mum could only go for
two hours or maybe less than one hour or something like that,
then they would chase her out.
When he was discharged,
we realised that he doesn't want to talk.
He also doesn't want to focus.
When I fetched him home from the hospital,
I realised that he doesn't want to walk.
He just wanted to sit on the wheelchair.
Patients with dementia are quite used to their routine.
If their routine gets disrupted,
let's say they get hospitalised,
they might not get to see
the familiar family members or caregiver
whom they are used to.
They get confused very easily,
and hence,
they will have a decline
in terms of their cognitive function as well.
Number two is really about
physical function decline.
When they get admitted to the hospital,
they have a prolonged bed rest.
They will actually lose their muscle mass
and also strength as well.
So to get him back,
I think (it took) about one month
to get him back onto the normal eating
and then to start to walk again.
That was when I also sourced for a wheelchair.
We also got a helper to help my mum.
So I was quite thankful.
Because at that time
he really needed somebody to support him.
Now, when he wakes up,
my mum will make breakfast for him.
And then after that
around 7 o'clock or so,
they will go for their morning walk
around the parks, the neighbourhood.
And then after that, they will go marketing.
My dad stays in Yishun
and as a dementia friendly community,
they actually built a lot of facilities for the elderly.
My dad used to enjoy colouring and drawing.
So my mum would bring him to GoodLife! Yishun.
And then he would do his colouring activities,
then my mum would do her exercising,
or she would just talk to friends around.
So I think they went there for quite a few months.
One in 10 Singaporeans
above 60
has dementia.
By 2030,
it’s projected that the numbers will increase.
And it is of concern
that we should prepare for the future.
Dementia-friendly communities
started off with that intent itself,
how we can build awareness,
to support the environment
for persons with dementia
and their caregivers
to live independently or gracefully
in their community.
The GoodLife! Yishun
at Block 838,
do you send your husband there?
So in Nee Soon,
we have embarked on
a dementia-friendly community project
since 2017.
And what we did in 2019 was that
we added dementia-friendly features
to the HDB blocks.
Such as in the colours that we use,
very bold colours,
blue, red for certain clusters,
and also green.
And we also use extra large numbers
to indicate the block number.
And we use motifs
that hark back to the older Nee Soon
such as the rubber plantation, rubber tree,
the pineapple plantation,
and also a fish for the fish farm.
We also have wayfinding features
at the pillars around the void decks.
So that a person with dementia
will have a visual reminder
of where it is they're going.
I can see that
there are more and more
facilities coming up,
so for people
who have maybe just been (diagnosed with) dementia,
I think it will be very helpful for them.
As a person living with dementia,
there are three boards all together,
very close to each other.
So that is already
visually overstimulating and overwhelming for us,
to take in the information.
And the abstract art
is quite hard for us to comprehend.
I was told that one of the pictures is a tree,
but when I look at it,
it is a person with a very curly hairstyle.
And that is the difficulty
when you're trying to cater
for people with cognitive disabilities.
We can only have
pictures that have maximum three colours,
anything more than that
really overload our visual senses.
But we are very happy that
we managed to come up with
things like ang ku kueh (red tortoise cake),
the White Rabbit sweet
and tang yuan (glutinous rice balls).
We felt that it will help the local community here
feel the connection,
because the old people are all familiar with all this.
This block is the ang ku kueh block.
But then if you walk further down,
you will see the same ang ku kueh.
It’s more like to help you to find,
am I on the right track?
Is this the right way?
So it's a double check.
As we encounter
more of these cases,
the more we can adapt,
what are the things that are necessary
to improve the infrastructure
and improve the way we engage
with the persons with dementia.
So now we are staying apart.
Once a week, I'll see them,
so it makes me treasure the time more.
Every time I'll call him and say “You remember me?”
Then sometimes he will say “Yes.”
Then after that he will say my name.
Or sometimes
he will just nod his head,
he doesn’t want to talk.
Over these three years,
I think I have become more patient,
I would say.
When they are feeling agitated or angry,
you shouldn't feel the same way as them.
You have to be calm.
You have to try to calm them down.
Because if you're angry with them,
they are also angry,
but they cannot understand you.
And the anger in you actually spoils your whole day.
So why let the anger spoil your day?
Just be more loving,
and then your day will be much better.