"Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself."
Usually when confronted with hardship, a common tendency among the majority is to contract
and dwell on the negatives.
this is why most of us will miss out on what these events can teach us about ourselves.
let's Imagine for instance, that you've been involved in a fight on your way home and got
beatin up badly.
most people are likely to feel sorry for themselves "oh i lost my teeth, i couldn't deffend my
self. poor me, i'm a victim".
this kind of interpretation will teach you nothing but to torture yourself internally
everytime something bad happens.
Fact is, your interpretation can be sculpted and reframed in any way you want and the interpretation
that you'd want to have is :
"okey today i couldn't deffend myself. this is something that i need to learn, maybe i
should take a martial art class so next time i won't loose my teeth".
The reason why this interpretation is better, it's because not only it
conveyed an acknoledgment of the weakness that the event revealed in your character
but also a commitment to improve upon that weakness.
the first interpretation however, lead to nothing but heighten and intensify the negative
emotions caused by the event.
-now let's say your girlfriend dumbed you, apply the same concept to it.
instead of complaining
Ask yourself "why did she run away?" to figure out what weaknessess the event might convey
about yourself.
"oh i guess i lost my purpose, i became very needy and attached in the last couple days"
Good. Lastely, express your willingness to fix your incompetence:
"maybe i should figure out how to fix this neediness therefore prevent the reoccuence
of the same problem with my next partner"
I'm aware that the problem might not always be you in all cases, sometimes it's out of
your control.
but concidering that it is the big idea in this context would be:
these so called unlucky situations you find your self in, are exposing weaknessess in
your character.
every distress that you're confronted with in your outer-reality, unveils distortions
in your inner-world that needs to be delt with within yourself.
With a strong commitment to continually seek out these weaknessess and proactively strive
to improve upon them; you set yourself on the process of shaping a stronger character.
"Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself."
I want you to Imagine a guy who's in a constant negative state.
Always whining about his low wage and hoping for the government to fix his financial problems.
Now i want you to imagine that same person but this time we're going to take his brain
out and transplant a millionaire mind in it's place.
now we have a poor person with a millionaire mind, what do you suppose he'll be thinking
?
i'd say, the guy will reconcider his miserable situation again, and start thinking reasonable
thoughts
that puts the blame on himself and no longer externally.
"oh i'm an alchoholic, maybe i should replace this bad habit so the money wasted on drinking,
can be saved.
"maybe a couple books about business, perhaps that will help"
"also i might want to start a small online project on my spare time and see where it
goes"
Did you see that? Finally he's thinking plausible thoughts!!
Earlier, before we could implement the new brain, his thoughts were scrambled. He wouldn't
have gotten anywhere with them.
those foolish thoughts wouldn't have allowed him to think up solutions.
He was mostly victimising himself and blaming others for his situation.
"A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly,
yet surely, shape his circumstances."
"the outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought"
this is a big one.
imagine a guy in university, he finally received his degree after 5 years.
but not only was he a good student, he spent most of his spare time fixing his weeknessess,
reading and learning social skills.
now imagine another guy, same thing, he got his degree and what not.
but for the past 5 years, he's never put the extra effort to develop any social skills
or learn things byhimself.
he merely followed the rules and was never exposed to stressful situations that could've
strenghthened his character.
Now back to the present, both guys went to a job interview together.
the first guy wasn't nervous at all, since he literally spent half a decade
sharpening his vibe and communication skills.
the way he answered questions seemed unreluctant, natural and charismatic
therefore he got the job offer easily.
unlike the confident guy, the second man, was overwhelmed by anxiety:
"oh why is he looking at me, should i answer this way or that way" he was nervous as hell
and it resulted in him not getting the job offer.
after that, the two man crossed each other & the anxious guy commented:
"oh man you're so lucky, i didn't get the job . Congrasilations to you"
the idea here is that the anxious guy completely misunderstood the reason for the confident
man's success.
there is no such thing as "luck" or "chance" when it comes to shaping circumstances, here's
why:
Both man, as i said, started college naturally introverted.
the only distinction is that the second student
was willing to challenge his limitations aside from following the rules and over the years,
he's gone through a major life transformation.-- thereby every situation he encounters today,
simply reflects what he is on the inside. his personality.
and the contruct of his personality, is the sum of all the experiences he's gone through
up until today.
today's circumstance reflect only his character and how much he spent hardening it.
there is no luck involved.
put another way, let's say, the confident guy didn't fix his weaknessess and remained
an anxious person just like the other guy did.
Would you think that after 5 years of remaining the same
he'll be able to convey a confident character in the face of harships and attract better
opportunities? Hell no.
The core principle here is one of my favourite big ideas:
"the outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought"
in other words: "Men do not attract that which they want,
but that which they are."
For instance, you wish to have a meaningful relationship with a women, but you suffer
sever social anxiety that needs to be deal with
before you could skillfully interact with the opposite sex.
so your current inner state(anxiety) will hinder you from acquiring what you want at
the moment.
in essence, your outer world can only reflect and provide back what's already present within
you.
and so again "Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are."
as you commit to banish the weaknessess dwelling in your heart and strengthen that character
of yours throughout your journey