welcome one and all down here up there out there
to the Late Show I'm your host Stephen Colbert it is
day two right is day two day two of the Republicans failing to elect a speaker of
the house did they fail again okay good no one no one literally no one and I called people who
know things no one knows what happens now here's what we do know it's fantastic it's just it's just
there was there was one analyst who I think captured Kevin McCarthy's situation at the end
of the day quite accurately here's what he had to say about McCarthy you get nothing you lose
good day sir and yet and yeah it's true you get nothing and yet McCarthy still hasn't
given up his speaker battle has become seemingly an endless gripping drama and
an epic spectacle which is why tonight we're calling it savitar The Way of loser now hey wow
now I see you now we taped the show at 5 30 was this it's 5 45 right now it's possible between
between you know now when you're watching it and then when we taped the show things
turned out well for Kevin McCarthy it's not likely because at the end of the day
he's still Kevin McCarthy yesterday this is just yesterday right there's always
the day two yesterday McCarthy tried to win enough votes to become speaker three times
and failed all three times so they adjourned everyone back to their Corners tried to find a
way to work things out and McCarthy had one more incentive to offer his far-right opponents large
number of pizzas have been seen going to Kevin McCarthy's office tonight Republicans are now
eating pizza I don't know what's going on in those rooms other than a lot of pizza I would imagine
that those 20 pizzas or something got delivered and and they're working on a plan it's completely
understandable McCarthy was just conceding to this demand from the ultramagas my pizza [Music]
so so bright and early today at the crack of noon the house started another round of
voting and McCarthy lost again and again and again and I believe is this true
I'm being told that we have footage from C-SPAN
of McCarthy on the house floor for all three of those ballots foreign
take it you take it now again we taped the show before six o'clock and they've adjourned now is
this they took it they took a recess they've adjourned until 8 pm tonight so by the time
we're broadcast he's either speaker or he's lost five more times Jim what would that look like
and thank you
and if they don't settle with us tonight they could keep going indefinitely just listen to
Virginia Republican congressman and Frankenstein's review of your mom's new haircut bob good
as a never Kevin voter good told reporters that in order to find a speaker who isn't
McCarthy it's worth taking a few days or a few weeks a few weeks
they're going to keep voting like this for a few weeks it's going to be like Groundhog's Day
and not just because McCarthy looks like a groundhog so far so far
so far McCarthy has put a brave face on his historic once in a century curb stomp here's
how he described yesterday's votes to reporters look today is is it the day I wanted to have no
that's a pretty mild way to assess the worst day of his political career but it
does remind me of that famous scene from Jaws look today is it the day I wanted to have no
ah motion to adjourn but despite the despite having no apparent path to Victory McCarthy
has said he is not backing down are there any circumstances under which you would consider
pulling out of this race for speaker there is not one there's no one oh Kevin let it go don't
you know that one of the most important things about dreams is sometimes they die
except for my dream where you keep losing over and over again nobody
I don't want to go to school today
and despite his multiple failed bids McCarthy claims the former president still supports him
he thinks it's better than all the other themselves
Republicans but we want to be able to solve it when we're stronger in the long run really the
former president encouraged Republicans to get together and work it out for the greater good
did he also say we should accept the results of the 2020 election marry one woman and eat a salad
then this morning just this morning then this morning the former president truthed
out this statement Republicans do not turn a great Triumph into a giant and embarrassing
defeat Kevin McCarthy will do a good job and maybe even a great job just watch a
ringing endorsement just like that popular Father's Day mug worlds may be dead maybe
how would you describe Maybe answer any so McCarthy's not backing down but neither are
his opponents like Florida representative and failed clone of Jay Leno Matt Gates
this weekend McCarthy moved into the speaker's office and Gates is having none of it especially
after yesterday's votes so he wrote an official letter to the person in control of the offices
called the architect of the Capitol asking the Speaker of the House office is currently occupied
by Kevin McCarthy what is the basis in law house rule or precedent to allow someone who has placed
second in three successive speaker elections to occupy the Speaker of the House Office
I can't believe I'm actually going to say this but Matt Gates is right
well I mean that's weird but you know what they say even a broken clock would
be a much better Congressman than Matt Gates and it's not just Republicans it's not just
Republicans out there independent non-partisan journalists like the folks at Fox News are also
also Barry very upset just to see them vote and do the same thing over and over again and
then make speeches to endorse McCarthy and have them not get I just thought
it was the craziest scenario it's making the Republicans look ridiculous tonight
we ask the question oh how about this question what would Ronald Reagan say
I don't know Sean something like huh where am I everything was so dark for so long and
then there were these demons dancing around me chanting you you should have addressed
the AIDS crisis when you had the chance and then I woke up all of a sudden Mommy
speaking of Reagan there's more news about the War on Drugs once again the drugs are winning
on Thursday New York opened its first legal recreational marijuana dispensary foreign
before this the only place to get weed in this city was anywhere from anyone at any
time [Applause] that's what the Statue of Liberty is burning up there baby
now that weed is legal here the official slogan is changing from the city that never sleeps to
the city that sleeps so much better now that it started taking half a gummy at bedtime
the first official dispensary the first official dispensary picked the perfect time to kick off
sales exactly at 4 20. nice The Joker inspiration from the neighboring sex shop that opened at 369
that means don't know what that means tons of people came out for the weed
stores opening with a line of hundreds snaking around the block of course that
line moved a lot faster once the guy in front realized it was a pull door
ah I don't know
weed isn't the only drug you'll Now find your parents doing with their friends because this week
legal use of hallucinogenic mushrooms began in Oregon so for my Oregonian viewers allow me to say
you and I are passengers on the same spaceship of Human Experience propelled by compassion
love at the rhythm of a flower's heartbeat also pet the dog it feels really cool
the new measure specifically legalizes psilocybin magic mushrooms not to be confused with other
magic mushrooms by which I mean all mushrooms they grow in the dark they taste great on Pizza
some evenly good wearing a vest here's how it'll work as of right now in Oregon anyone over 21 can
consume mushrooms as long as they're supervised by a State Certified facilitator and a licensed
service center a licensed service center is this taking mushrooms or getting your tires rotated
wait a minute what if the tires are staring where they are and the rest of us are rotating
a guide might also be helpful because shrooms are not without their side effects including
nausea and vomiting increased body temperature abdominal cramps and diarrhea muscle weakness
and altering your perception of reality symptoms otherwise known
as Taco Bell we got a great show for you tonight my guests are Shania Twain
[Music] it's space news [Applause] [Music]