And we got to learn how to be
financially astute too, am I right?
Got to manage our finances,
you know what I'm saying?
You've got to make smart decisions
sometimes.
Like oh, these gas prices out
of hand, ain't they?
Come on, man.
I ran out of gas the other day,
I just called AAA.
I'm like this tow is cheaper
than filling it up.
(audience laughing)
I'm riding in a truck with you,
player.
(audience laughing)
It's funny to me.
(audience laughing)
You can't even enjoy your car
no more, you know what I'm saying?
Remember back in the day, fellas,
you get an argument with your lady,
like I need to go
with clear my head.
I'll be back in a couple of hours.
You go take a ride, clear your head,
let the windows down and drive.
That's when gas was less expensive.
Gas up over $4, $5, ain't no riding
around.
You go from the garage
to the end of the driveway.
I'm clear now.
I'm clear.
(audience laughing)
You got the kids out there running
by the car
like you driving past people.
Keep running y'all, keep running.
Keep running, y'all.
Keep running.
Keep running, y'all.
Keep running.
These prices.
Man, you can't even enjoy your car.
I'm from Michigan, Detroit.
In the wintertime, it gets cold.
Snow comes out,
we have to defrost our cars
and scrape them off
in the wintertime.
And back in the day,
remember, when gas-- this
I can tell you how you know gas
is too high now, $4 or $5 a gallon.
Because back in the day,
all I used to put in my car was $4.
Where my old-school people
that know what I'm talking about, $4?
(audience cheering)
Come on now. $4, you was straight
for the week.
Remember when people used to offer
you gas money and you refused it?
Remember those days of yesteryear?
They'd be like, hey, like what's
your name, sir?
- Jeff.
Everybody say, hey Jeff.
- Hey, Jeff.
- You be like, hey, Jeff, you need
some gas money?
Jeff be like, "no, I'm straight.
"I put $4 in on Sunday.
"It's just Thursday now.
"I think we're driving down
"to Florida tomorrow.
"Might get something after that."
Man, you would warm your car back
in the day and you scrape off
the snow and all that, get it off.
All the debris, let it warm up.
Not for now. $4 a gallon?
Please.
This past winter I started my car up.
I let the windows down and back up.
If that don't get the snow off,
don't ride next to me.
(audience laughing)
I got limited visibility.
(audience laughing)
I got a 2 inch peripheral.
(audience laughing)
I learned a new word this week,
that's my word this week,
peripheral.
(audience laughing)
Man, my mama
could call me Saturday night,
"baby, my heart beating funny.
"I think I need to go
"to the hospital."
Like mama, the hospital
is on the way to church
in the morning.
(audience laughing)
I can't go that way twice.
It's $4 a gallon, why don't you take
some aspirin and pray about it.
You always tell me the Lord know
my heart.
He know my heart.
(audience laughing)
And when I first went
with my brother, my brother
is the oldest.
He got his license first.
Going to get gas back in the day,
it was like an event.
Getting $4 worth of gas
was like a music video at the gas
station.
We walked in there, man,
it was like an event.
It was like in slow motion.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, let me get a
(audience laughing)
four dollars
(audience laughing)
on pump six.
(audience laughing)
It was girls in line
behind us talking about, "oh girl,
"he just got $4.
"I told you he was paid."
(audience laughing)
We walked out all smooth
in slow motion.
(audience laughing)
Yeah.
Smooth event.
You try and get $4 worth of gas now?
It's a whole different situation.
Ain't nothing smooth in slow motion.
You're so embarrassed,
all you're getting is $4 that you
ask for everything but the gas.
Oh, you can go ahead of me.
God bless you too.
Give me a pack of double mint
and put the rest on pump six.
And that's when they get
on that microphone,
"that'll be $4 on pump six."
(audience laughing)
You just got to let everybody know
I'm broke, player?
Really?
You're so embarrassed, even your car
started laughing at you.
Ah, ah, ah.
The doors me going ah, ah, ah.
The trunk is moving.
Ah, ah, ah.
It'd be honking the other cars.
(car honking)
He put it in $4.
Ah, ah, ah.
Where are you trying to go,
to the next pump?
Ah, ah, ah.
(audience laughing)
You ever having a bad day,
just try that.
Just ah, ah, ah.
Bet your day will go better.
(audience laughing)
And I'm sick of everybody walking
around with these little earpieces
now looking like unemployed
Secret Service.
(audience laughing)
Getting on my nerves.
Ruining my life.
I'm in line at the bank trying
to get these deposits together
so I can get these checks
in from off the road.
Guy behind me like, "what's up, man?"
I was like, what's up.
He wasn't even talking to me.
I played myself.
And you know, we hate to play
ourselves.
Young, old, Black, white, male,
female.
There's only one thing worse
than playing yourself, somebody
seeing you play yourself.
I was in line like, oh, I hope
nobody else in line saw that.
I turned around everybody in line
was like, ha, ha, ha.
"He wasn't even talking to you.
"You played yourself."
And it was all in slow motion to me.
"He wasn't even talking to you.
Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha.
"You played yourself."
Ah, ah, ah.
Then it happened again, y'all.