Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'They won't get my vote in any popularity contest'
The poster for 1983's ETN The Extraterrestrial Nastie,
raises expectations for a gleeful spoof of the Spielberg classic, in which a small child befriends the wrong alien.
Unfortunately, anybody who saw this on the basis of the poster, was in for a crushing disappointment,
as the film was in fact 1967's Night Fright, repackaged in the UK for a Video Nasty audience.
'Well, where shall we start'
The most interesting thing about Night Fright is that it was made in 1967,
when the genre it falls into was all played out.
'We interrupt this music to bring you a news bulletin concerning the fiery object that crashed in the hills'
This is every 1950s alien invasion cliche you've seen.
'Take me to your leader'
Shifty government agents...
'I went out there where that thing cracked up and those government boys wouldn't let me near the place.'
Local police wilfully ignoring the obvious...
'Say, where the rocket fell, you don't suppose there's any connection between the rocket and...'
'No I don't see how. Comeon, we got work to do'
Scientists spouting the obvious...
'When I was at Cape Kennedy I was involved in space research'
Space research at Cape Kennedy? How remarkable.
'Aren't you ever serious?'
And stupid kids.
'Isn't this the place where the flying saucer landed?'
Who are of course in their early 30s...
'I'm not going to let the fuzz tell me what to do'
'Yeah, groovy'
Possibly late.
'Oh Chris, don't be juvenile'
He couldn't be juvenile if he tried, despite efforts to make him a teen philosopher.
'Things we don't know, about the sky, about the earth and the air and the wind, and even this leaf.'
'Why Chris, I didn't know you were a philosophiser.'
And wandering through it all is a badly lit creature...
Looking like if the robot monster lost its helmet, chasing down its prey at a steady walking pace.
There is not even hint of irony, to suggest that the filmmakers were consciously spoofing the genre.
'Well it does have some familiar characteristics, but there also differences'
Nor does it really have an original take on that genre,
although admittedly, the creature is not an alien.
'The purpose of the project was to ascertain the effects of cosmic radiation on live animals'
Turns out the effects aren't great
But the difference this small change makes is negligible.
'Okay, okay, you've proved your point'
Having established that this is, at best a weird throwback to genre that was not that great to start with,
is it at least well made?
'I couldn't care less'
No. The director, who by the way, edited Manos which isn't doing his CV any good,
'He said what?!'
Heard somewhere that juxtaposing sounds between scenes will lend even the dumbest film an artistic validity.
Especially if you pair that with suddenly yanking the camera backwards for no reason,
'Well Susan, that sounds about like him.'
and obviously the more you do it, the more artistic it becomes.
Most of the film is scenes of people driving,
'But that's al; you better do Chris Johnston.'
or walking,
alleviated by occasional bouts of running.
At the end they spend a solid 5 minutes waiting.
As the body count racks up we are forced to wonder if anything can stop the creature.
or if anyone is even going to try.
'Come in! My God Come In somebody!'
I can probably ignore that.
'I guess we have had enough excitement for one day'
But B Movie stalwart John Agar, has a plan,
'All the way home she just sat there beside me, as rigid and motionless as a mannequin'
'What did you say?'
That apparently involves a mannequin.
'Here's a list of things I need'
And some other stuff.
'Honey I hate to ask you this but there's one small favour you can do for me'
Including a favour from his girlfriend.
'Would you mind making it a little bit clearer'
I can't wait to see what it is.
He tricks the monster by using a decoy girlfriend.
And it's worked but firstly;
from what shop were you able to obtain a mannequin and a wig, but not women's clothes.
'What's going on?'
Secondly; if the mannequin hadn't been dressed as your girlfriend,
did you think the mutated animal, which has not thus far shown a lot of intelligence,
would have lurked in the trees going...
'That's not Joan. This is a set up'
'What the devil's going on around here Clint'
Finally to get the creature to the decoy, a teen couple is used as live bait.
Why? If the creature always attacks cars, I'd have put the bomb in there.
'I can't say that I blame you'
All in all, I'd rather have seen this movie.
'Oh Chris, let's get out of here.'
Thanks for watching, subscribe here for other reviews of movies exactly like this one.
Night Fright is an archetype of its sub-genre,
What other favorite movies of yours are archetypes of slashes?
Rampaging animals? Alien invasion movies? and the like let us know in the comments below.
'Get out of here'