Hello! SP success story time and it's from Tee, and it goes like this:
'Hi Agnes, here is my success story as promised. I couldn't have done this without you your example
truly illuminated the path and for that I am so grateful. Please feel free to share this
below with your audience. I am sharing the success story for the listeners who are really struggling.
To the listeners - I know your pain all too well and if I can get through it so can you. Please
listen and understand that anything can change if you are willing to go all in on yourself.
My story - My story with my SP started in the summer of 2016 and my person and I hit
it off right away. We started dating and even though we fell in love quickly I could see that
there were things not quite right about our relationship. When it came to the level of
emotional depth we were comfortable with and security in the relationship itself. I now
know it was due to my inability to feel secure within me. I had no foundation for who I was,
what I stood for, what I was worth, what I would allow and disallow in my life, my boundaries.
I learned later that I had never been taught this as a child and this was the key to everything
that had been going wrong in relationships up to that point. While the circumstances of SP's and
my relationship are helpful to know, the major overhaul had a 100% to do with my self-concept
and what I was available for in relationship. It all started in childhood - my childhood might have
looked normal on the outside but growing up I learned I needed to pay close attention to my
3D circumstances. It is how I cope during that time because my emotional needs were not met.
Due to this I developed the subconscious belief that I was wasn't good enough and that love
was something to be earned not given freely. Therefore no one in my romantic relationships
could ever meet those needs for me. Regarding our relationship, I didn't know it or fully understand
what was happening back then while in it, but both of us were experiencing the same fears
in different ways. Fear of being hurt, fear of commitment, fear of unspoken jealousies, everyone
truly is you pushed out. Additionally I had this nagging feeling that it was not all in with me
and because of that I intentionally disallowed myself from truly falling for him. I knew if I did
and if it didn't work out it would destroy me. So I kept my distance emotionally which he felt,
I wouldn't give myself over to real love because I could feel he wasn't fully all in.
I felt as if he wouldn't fight for me, prioritise me, or pick me above all else. As much as I
desperately craved more depth and intimacy and trust with him, I was equally terrified. I wasn't
emotionally safe enough at that time to allow myself to let go in love and trust myself, him,
and our relationship. Even though he loved me deeply I manifested distance between us because
of those insecurities. I want to reiterate that it was me who created this because I was so unstable,
he was only reflecting back to me the lack of worth, lack of security,
and instability I felt within me. It really breaks my heart that I put both of us through
this. I can see it didn't have to be this way but I also had to forgive myself for truly - to truly
move forward. At this point he had a business that he was building which took him across the country.
After he moved and 2 years together in a committed relationship he ended things with me in 2018. To
make it worse at the time I was dealing with a major health crisis and I manifested a 3rd party.
To say I felt devastated was the understatement of the year. I was abandoned by a man who loved
me. I could not see why it was happening yet but at this point I was aware it had to do with me.
I found Agnes soon after I started searching online about how to get an ex back with the dating
gurus. What a waste of time that was. I loved Agnes because her words resonated from a genuine
place, there was no manipulation in her teaching approach yet I still tried and failed at all the
ex back tactics before I acquiesced to working on the self. I remember working with you Agnes
and sobbing to you, admitting that I couldn't even say I love myself because it felt like such a lie.
My self-concept had been built on such fragile external things that I had no idea who I was,
nor what stability, security, and love was. I felt so far from the place of feeling it within.
Then the real work began, it was ugly at first. I tried to meditate, I'd have panic attacks,
I would go to sleep at night and wake up in night terrors. I tried affirming - it just
made me feel worse, my body was in a complete state of dysregulation. Things finally changed
and clicked when I started doing inner child work specifically directed towards the limiting beliefs
I uncovered that I had learned in childhood. Once that happened things started to shift.
This summer my person and I reconnected everything is different in a good way.
He moved back to my side of the country - his decision and we've been more open and
vulnerable with each other than ever before. The vulnerability and the intimacy that wasn't
there in the past is now fully there. I know that there is a future here if I want it. What
I am most proud of in all of this is myself. I truly started becoming the person I wanted to be
and I've learned how to meet my own needs. Okay, here's what I did to get him back for those of
you who are still confused about what they should do. Number 1) Awareness of thoughts. Every time I
started to think negatively about my situation or my partner I became aware of what I was thinking.
And you'll know to become aware when you start to feel those icky not so good anxious
type of feelings. When I noticed I was thinking negatively I would ask myself is this true and
what would I prefer instead. I let my brain show me what it wanted or would like to experience.
Number 2) Imagined us together but happily, solid, steady, with our kids. Number 3) Inner child
healing. Hands down the most profound change for me came with understanding my childhood trauma and
doing inner child work. I knew because everyone as you pushed out that for me to have a whole
and stable relationship with any man I needed to become stable within myself. Genuinely love myself
and be the person I wanted to be. When I felt anxious or grasping fear I learned to observe
it - again, refer to awareness (no.1). Then I began to acknowledge the inner child in me who
was experiencing that feeling - I'd ask what is going on, what do you need right now. I'd
never judge or force myself to stop feeling the way I did, I held the space for myself.
When I had no one to comfort me I would tell myself - I love you, I'm here for you, you are
enough, you are important, and I would hug myself. Number 4) Boundaries. I knew things started to
change when I was able to stop reacting to old triggers that would have previously set me off.
I began to set boundaries for him and for myself, big ones and small ones. I began considering what
I was available for and what I was not available for. I started setting some parameters for myself
and sticking to them - bedtime, cleaning house, to-do lists, working out, self-care.
I started completing things I told myself I'd complete. I started following through for myself,
I started meeting my own needs. How did I know what I needed? Sometimes I'd ask my inner child,
sometimes I already knew what it was based on what my inner self point of me
to on its own. I thought about the person I wanted to be in the relationship of my
dreams and I started being her now. This wasn't just imagining in my head I started to do those
things that I knew were necessary to have the life I wanted. I stopped wondering when
he was going to text me next, when he was going to ask me out, every time I noticed
myself wondering did he get back to me yet. I realised these things, I realised I was putting
him on a pedestal and obsessing, I realised I needed to immediately start focusing on myself
and what I needed in that moment because clearly I was looking for him to validate
me. And finally I would assure myself of course he's going to contact me because I am enough.
In the beginning I had great resistance to all of this and I resented the work, but as challenging
as it was I never gave up on myself. Now because I persisted I'm in this routine of creating the
life I want for me, the life of my dreams. I am really focusing fully on loving myself, enjoying
this valuable life I was given, appreciating my dogs, my family, my friends, my house, my career
etc. And now I finally feel how having him would just be a bonus - not the main course
in my life. I am so proud of myself, I am finally free. To the listeners - Please know that you if
you are struggling you can do this too, you have so much more power than you realize and
you are completely worthy of all your desires. To Agnes, thank you for being a shining light
in this community and going first to illuminate the way for the rest of us. In gratitude, Tee.'
Wow, so well written, such good detail. So what I will do for those of you that are
struggling and would still like to manifest your wonderful specific person, all the things that Tee
discussed in this particular success story I'm going to put down below for you to check out.
And the specific person ex back playlist success stories I'll put that down below for you
and I will put some SP particular toolbox, little things that I've put together for
you and it is a part one and part two and I'll put these up here next to my head.
Lots of love everyone and let's see if Tee will do an interview.. lots of love, see you soon.