>>ALL RIGHT, YOU ALL KNOW THE DRILL. LAST NIGHT WE GOT A TIP THAT A CRAZED MAD
MAN HAS PLANS TO DESTROY THE WORLD.
WE'VE ROUNDED UP THE ONLY CRIMINALS WHO COULD RESPONSIBLE;
DARTH VADER, VOLDEMORT, BANE, AND OF COURSE MAHATMA GHANDI.
>>YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE. >>SAVE IT GHANDI.
NOW WE'RE FITTING YOU ALL WITH OUR MOST ADVANCED MIND
READING TECHNOLOGY. WHENEVER I ASK YOU A QUESTION, THESE CAPS
ARE GOING TO ANSWER FOR YOU.
>>BUT I AM INNOCENT. >>WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO OVER OUR CULPRIT'S PROFILE.
THE VILLAIN PROBABLY HAS A BAND OF LOYAL FOLLOWERS WHO OBEY HIS EVERY WORD.
[DING] [DING] [DING] [DING]
>>A MATCH ON ALL FOUR SIR. >>GOOD.
>>YES, BUT MY FOLLOWERS ARE ALL PACIFISTS. >>A LIKELY STORY.
THE VILLAIN PROBABLY DOESN'T GO BY HIS GIVEN NAME.
[DING] [DING] [DING] [DING]
>>ANOTHER MATCH. >>WELL NO ONE'S GOING TO BE AFRAID OF THE
DARK LORD TOM. >>YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
>>YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY ANTONIO? >>[LAUGHTER] >>OH, LOOK WHO'S TALKING ANAKIN,
OR SHOULD I SAY, LITTLE ANI. [LAUGHTER] >>ALL RIGHT,
THE VILLAIN PROBABLY HAS A DARK CATCH PHRASE, SUCH AS, "I AM YOUR FATHER"--
[DING] "COME TO DIE." [DING] "I WAS RAISED BY DARKNESS"
[DING] OR AN "EYE FOR AN EYE MAKES THE WORLD BLIND."
[DING] WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? >>IT IS A PROVERB, NOT AN EVIL SAYING.
>>OH, BUT IT GETS BETTER. THE VILLAIN IS PROBABLY BALD.
[DING] [DING] [DING] [DING]
>>WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? >>NO, HE'S RIGHT.
THE INSECURITY MAKES YOU EVIL. >>THIS MASK DOES NOTHING.
IT MERELY DRAWS THE EYE AWAY FROM MY SHINY DOME OF SHAME.
>>THE VILLAIN IS PROBABLY BEEN TO PRISON. [DING] >>I WAS PROTESTING UNJUST LAWS.
AND BESIDES, WHAT ABOUT BANE? >>I WAS BORN THERE CONVICT.
>>THE VILLAIN HAS PROBABLY OVERTHROWN A GOVERNMENT-- [DING] [DING]
[DING] [DING] AND HIS NEW REGIME MAY STILL BE IN POWER.
[DING] >>WHAT? HOW?
>>CAN YOUR HENCHMEN ACTUALLY FIGHT, BECAUSE MY CLONES ARE TOTAL PANSIES.
>>VADER, I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES, CLONE DARTH MAL, BUT NO.
>>REALLY? WELL DIDN'T I SAY WATCH OUT!
SNAPE IS IN LOVE WITH YOUR ENEMY'S DEAD MOM.
>>VADER, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR ENEMY'S DEAD MOM.
>>TOUCHÉ. WELL PLAYED.
>>ALL RIGHT, SOMEBODY TALK! THE GUILT MUST BE KILLING YOU!
>>OH SURE, WE ALL CRY OURSELVES TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
[LAUGHTER] [DING] >>STILL NOT OVER PADMÉ.
>>LOOK, WE KNOW IT'S ONE OF YOU. THE VILLAIN HAS A SUPER WEAPON THAT CAN CHANGE
THE WORLD. [DING] >>YOU THINK THAT I AM THE
ONE WITH THE WEAPON? LOOK AT WHAT I AM WEARING.
WHERE WOULD I HIDE IT? >>WELL WHO ELSE COULD IT BE?
THE DEATH STAR BLEW UP, THE ELDER WAND BROKE, AND THAT AL GHUL GIRL DIDN'T DETONATE THE
BOMB IN TIME. >>WELL WE CAN'T HAVE TWO OF BATMAN'S GIRLFRIENDS
BLOW UP. AM I RIGHT?
TOO SOON? >>TOO SOON.
>>I FELT IT AS I WAS SAYING IT. >>WE KNOW IT'S YOU MAHATMA!
WE KNOW THAT YOUR WEAPON IS CALLED, "NON-VIOLENCE".
>>NUN-VIOLENCE? >>WHO ATTACKS NUNS SICKO?
>>NON-VIOLENCE, IT MEANS NOT VIOLENT. >>SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGE GANDHI.
SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGE. YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A LONG TIME.
[CELL PHONE RING] >>I TOLD YOU TURN THAT OFF-- >>SORRY.
HELLO? OH YEAH.
THE INDIAN PARLIAMENT IS LOOKING FOR THEIR SPIRITUAL LEADER.
SMALL, SKINNY, INCREDIBLY WISE. >>I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS.
>>OH, YES. WELL, UH, YOU KNOW, IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. ANTONIO, ANI.