(air whooshing)
- Look how much fun we're having.
- [Kid] Previously on "The Convos Show".
- I think we need to cut.
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah, let's cut. Let's cut!
- Would it be cool if David crashed here?
- Only if you help me with my math worksheet.
- I have nowhere else to stay because my dad died.
- That was four years ago.
- He's still dead.
- Last thing we need around here is another child.
- Oh, he farted.
(laughing)
- One question, how long-
- Can I have a drink of water?
- Can you help me with my math worksheet now?
- What are you doing?
- I'm talking to your folks.
- David tells me you're in some
kind of financial difficulties.
- It's gonna be fine,
because we've got a big pitch tomorrow, David and I,
with a local business to get some sponsorship.
- Did you pitch my idea?
- Which one?
- Convos with the dog.
- I forgot to do my math worksheet.
(paper rustling)
Isn't this cheating?
- I have that huge pitch with the school principal tomorrow
for the Dance-a-thon fundraising campaign
and I still have to tweak some of the choreography, and--
(slipping sound)
(thudding)
So I slipped on one of his stupid socks
and twisted my ankle.
I'm sorry, but I can't live like this.
Oh, it's the principal. Should I answer it?
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
- Okay, she wants to see our family in her office.
- When?
- Now.
(whimsical music)
- Everybody in the car!
(whimsical music ends)
Guys, seatbelts.
- Wait for us! - Hey, hey, hey!
- No, it's just the family.
(car starting) - I am part of the family.
- I could eat.
(upbeat music)
(music ends)
- Thank you for coming in.
- Of course, it's always such a privilege--
- Excuse me. Who are you?
- Uncle David.
Sorry I'm late for the family meeting.
I had some trouble zooming in Matt's mom and dad.
- Hi, everyone!
- Is this the pitch for convos with your dog?
- No, no, no. That's tomorrow.
- Your dad and I are starting a production company.
It's either going to be called Living Dad Productions
or The Son I Always Wanted Studios.
- Hi.
- I think it's great that women can be principals.
- Me too.
- Is this everyone then?
- Oh, hey guys.
Sorry I'm late. I just-
(panting)
Hey. (pats shoulder)
Oh.
David asked me to wait outside,
but I got cold and kind of lonely.
- Northey too?
- My car wouldn't start.
I think a raccoon from your neighborhood
chewed through my gas line.
I'll invoice you guys later.
- Should I expect any more interruptions?
- No. Sorry.
This is the whole...
Everybody.
So what is this regarding?
- Well,
I'm afraid Coco has been caught cheating.
- What?
- Coco, cheaters never win.
- I'm not a cheater.
- She handed this in this morning and it is clearly
not her handwriting.
Our forensics department confirmed it.
And it also confirmed that over half the answers were wrong,
which is quite unusual for Coco.
Anyway, I'm afraid this revelation has made me deeply
reconsider the viability of Coco's attendance
here at the academy.
- It's a public school.
- As well as the integrity
of Leila's Dance-a-thon fundraising proposal.
- But I kept trying
- Coco it's okay.
The grownups have to take accountability for our actions.
Principal...
I'm sorry, I don't actually know what your last name is.
The truth is...
- It was me.
- What?
- That's right.
Me.
The streamy award winner, actor, David Milchard.
Excuse me.
(hits wall) - Oy.
- I played Coco in our hit web series
Conversations With My Two Year Old.
If you haven't seen it, you must watch it.
And of course, like and share and subscribe to it.
In any event, yesterday I was so immersed in the character
that when I saw that worksheet on the kitchen counter
with Coco's name on it,
I immediately assumed it was for me
and out of pure commitment and devotion to the role,
I proceeded to fill it out
as Coco.
By me.
(music stops)
When you see the show, you'll understand.
- My God,
such an actor's actor.
- It was like watching a young Donald Sutherland.
- Yes. Which would be Kiefer.
Kiefer Sutherland.
- Well Donald-
- Blame it on my years of training,
blame it on my abundance of God given natural talent,
(dramatic music)
or
just blame it on my powerful impulses,
as described by Robert Redford.
When he directed me
in his critically acclaimed feature film,
The Company You Keep.
Where I starred opposite Shia Labeouf.
I have his email.
I can email him whenever I choose.
- He was in one scene.
- I know.
- Robert Redford.
I love Robert Redford.
- Man is a legend.
If someone like that compliments you,
you know, you're doing something right.
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid,
the Sting, ordinary people.
Hey?
I mean the list just goes on and on.
- Can we move past the Robert Redford thing now?
- What is your problem?
- What have you got against Robert Redford?
What have you got against Robert Redford?
David, I want it to be The Son I've Always Wanted...
- Studios.
- Yes
- No. Obviously, Robert Redford is fantastic. I agree.
It's just, I think we're getting off track.
- You're right, Matt.
The point is not that I've worked with Robert Redford
or Tim Burton.
- Like the Black Swan.
- Or that they both loved my work.
(dramatic music)
The point is, Madam principal,
blame me.
Don't blame this
kind, wonderful, warm,
generous,
honest,
welcoming family.
And certainly
do not blame my dear
Coco.
(dramatic music swells)
I rest my case.
- Well, that is certainly the strangest excuse
that I've ever heard in all my years as an educator.
But if it's on YouTube, I suppose it checks out.
- Are you serious?
- [Principal] Thank you all for coming.
- Oh, that's great.
- Oh, and David, thank you for that
most powerful thought share.
- It was perfection. Full-stop.
- Can't add to that.
- Told you I'm not a cheater.
- I know you're not
- Now that this is all sorted out,
what are your thoughts about the Dance-a-thon fundraiser?
- Oh. Yeah, that is a hard no.
- Oh.
- But is it?
(dance music starts)
- Well, you've changed my mind.
(laughs)
It's approved.
(crowd hoorays)
(dance music continues)
- Good dancing in there.
- Nice job, guys.
- That principal, got real moves.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Thanks for doing that, buddy.
- Anytime.
- Yeah. Thanks, uncle David.
- Thank you, Coco.
That's what roommates are for.
- Yeah. Listen, about that.
You need to- - You know what?
If you need to stay a little bit longer, it's okay.
- Excuse me, everybody.
While I update the score card of life.
Looks like I've scored a family.
- Well, I think we've all learned a little something today.
- Yeah. I learned how to keep a secret from our principal.
- And I learned that lying always works out in the end.
- Those are very important lessons.
I have so much more to teach you guys.
Have I ever told you about the time Larry the Cable Guy
taught me how to shotgun a beer while riding a horse?
- I think we have a couple
ground rules that we want to cover.
- [David] I mean, it's incredible
what you can do on the back of a motorized horse.
You can shotgun a beer...
(soft music plays)
- Hey guys. Look at the...
Shakespeare's complete works
that I've found in the library.
Guys?
Where'd they go?
(gasps)
This means I am getting recast.
God.
(silly music)
Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy.
The bard.
Oh, they've got sonnets.
"In the old age black was not counted fair,
Or if it were, it bore not beauty's name.
Romeo and Juliet.
Tragic but-
- [ Matt] Hey. - Yeah?
- Everyone's in the car come on.
- I was actually kind of enjoying, just reading the book.
- Okay.
- No, I'll come.
(music ends)
- Hey guys.
Thank you so much for watching.
This is the end of Convos season nine.
We really hope you enjoyed the season.
Please let us know what you thought of it
in the comments below and let us know
if you'd like to see another season.
And don't forget to like, subscribe, and share.
And thank you so much to A Filthy Lot entertainment, again
for making the season possible.
We really could not have done it without them.
Please check out their channel and subscribe.
Thank you so much to the Canadian media fund
for supporting us, supporting this project,
and making this possible.
Thank you so much.
And thank you to all of you.
Stay tuned for more cool stuff coming up on the channel
in the coming months and take care of each other.
Be well.