*Tessa and Joe make weird noises*
[Joe] Should we do an intro?
[Tessa] Melt away
*Tessa and Joe melt away*
[Tessa] No one's gonna understand our weird humor
[Joe] We quit
[Tessa] Hey guys Tessa here and I'm here with
[Joe] Boba Fett!
[Tessa] No...
[Joe] Hi my name is Joe Moses and this is my girlfriend Tessa
[Tessa] And this is the...
[Joe] Joe Moses Showses
[Joe] Welcome to the Joe Moses One Man Showses
[Tessa] Nooooooo
[Tessa] No this is the Boyfriend Tag
[Tessa] Also I just passed 100,000 subscribers!
[Tessa] 100,000 that's so many people thank you guys so much!
[Tessa] Okay so I have some questions
[Tessa] First question- how long have we been together?
[Joe] Almost, not quite, almost 4 years
[Tessa] That's the longest I've ever dated somebody
[Joe] That's the longest I've ever dated somebody
[Joe] It's been fun
[Tessa] It's been great
[Tessa] Okay #2- where did we first meet?
[Joe] We first met at Starbucks
[Both] White people problems
[Joe] And I came in and I was looking for her and I saw this little elf and I was like
either this little girl is going to be very confused or this is Tessa
[Tessa] You had really pretty eyes
[Joe] Oh these
[Tessa] And it's really weird because we both have hazel eyes
[Joe] And you know there are some people that have brown eyes and they're like 'my eyes are hazel'
And then they're just like shit brown
[Joe] That's not the case
[Joe] *Jesse Pinkman impression* Yo hazel bitch
[Tessa] How was our first kiss?
[Tessa] ayyyyyyy
*Tessa and Joe pound it for an awesome first kiss*
[Tessa] Who said I love you first?
[Joe] Meeee I did
[Joe] And pretty early on too
[Tessa] Who wears the pants in the relationship?
[Joe] We each put on one leg of the pant
[Joe] It's Zoot Suit
[Tessa] I was just gonna say that!
[Both] Zoot Suit! Zoot Suit! (this is from Wet Hot American Summer)
[Tessa] Where am I from?
[Joe] She is from the North Pole
[Tessa] No!
[Joe] Santa I know him!
[Joe] She's actually from Pottstown, PA
[Tessa] And you're from Michigan
*Joe points to his hand*
[Tessa] What is that?
[Joe] It's what Michiganders do. They go I'm from 'right here'
[Tessa] Pennsylvania would be like where am I from?
[Tessa] When did you meet my family?
[Joe] First person I met was her mom in Jets mode! Which if you know her family is a whole
separate category of existence
[Tessa] We get really intense
[Joe] Yeah they got really into it
[Tessa] J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!
[Joe] But it was so much fun
[Joe] We took a train from Chicago back to Michigan and you met my family for the first time at home
[Tessa] On my birthday! That was so great that was so fun!
And then your mom made me an awesome cake!
[Joe] Yeah my mom made her a gluten free cake
[Tessa] Yeah cuz she's the best
[Joe] Thanks mom
[Tessa] What is that one thing that I do that you don't like?
*Joe pretends to be me on my phone*
[Tessa] Hey I'm not on my phone that much!
[Joe] What's the thing that I do you don't like?
[Tessa] You sharpen way too many pencils!
[Joe] I want a fine point on my pencil
[Tessa] Do we have any traditions?
[Joe] We do Christmas on New Year's Eve. On our anniversary we make it two days long
And we plan a day for each other
[Tessa] That's why Joe took me to see a sloth for the first time! Lola!
And that's a tradition too seeing Lola!
[Joe] Yeah seeing Lola's a tradition
[Tessa] When we're waiting for our food if we order food and it doesn't come right away then we go
[Both] *singing* THE FOOD IS NEVER COMING
[Joe] And that continues more frantic until it's finally there and we go
[Both] *singing* THE FOOD IS HERE
[Tessa] Do I have any weird obsessions?
[Joe] Uhh should I make a list?
[Joe] Harry Potter
[Joe] Sloths
[Joe] Hairbows
[Joe] Audiobooks
[Joe] Hamilton
[Joe] My name is
[Tessa] Alexander Hamilton
[Joe] And there's a million things I haven't done but
[Tessa] Just you wait!
[Joe] Just you
[Tessa] WAIT
[Tessa] We like Hamilton
[Joe] Tessa got me addicted to Hamilton
[Joe] There's a few things Tessa has done for me in my life which is got me into Supernatural,
got me into Hamilton, and what else...stuff you made me like that you like...
[Tessa] Just a general fandom appreciation
[Joe] More than just Star Wars
[Tessa] What TV shows do we watch together?
[Joe] Supernatural!
[Tessa] Yes Supernatural is our favorite we're catching up we're SO CLOSE. SO CLOSE!
[Joe] Doctor Who
[Joe] Game of Thrones
[Tessa] Rick and Morty!
*Joe does his Morty imrpession*
[Joe] Bob's Burgers
[Both] Archer/South Park
[Tessa] We watch a lot of cartoons
[Joe] A lot of adult cartoons
[Joe] When something scary happens on TV Tessa goes *GASP*
[Tessa] If I'm watching TV by myself what am I watching?
[Joe] Ugh some cooking show I don't eve know what they're called
[Joe] Top Iron Chef Battle Fight Food Chop
[Tessa] No it's good in the background when you're working on stuff because you don't have to pay attention to it
[Joe] What show do I watch?
[Tessa] Friends
[Joe] Friends! It's true
[Tessa] What is my favorite food?
[Joe] Sweet potatoes probably
[Tessa] I LOVE SWEET POTATOES I'm like a sloth. Sloths love sweet potatoes and so do I!
[Tessa] Your favorite food is PIZZA!
[Tessa] What is one food that I don't like?
[Joe] Root beer
[Tessa] Yeah I don't like root beer
[Joe] And mint chocolate chip ice cream
[Tessa] Joe doesn't like tomatoes
[Joe] It's not that I don't like them it's that they make me throw up in my mouth
[Tessa] What is my favorite cereal?
[Joe] You don't really eat cereal you eat oatmeal instead
[Tessa] Yeah I like oatmeal
[Tessa] What's your favorite cereal Joe?
*Joe lifts up his weird panda cereals*
[Tessa] Joe just can't say no to this happy panda
[Tessa] I don't even know if he really likes the cereal that much
[Joe] And then when I'm feeling a little more serious, this is the thoughtful panda
[Tessa] What is my favorite restaurant?
[Joe] Chipotle
[Tessa] We like breakfast
[Joe] We're trash
[Tessa] Wait what's that burger place called that we always go to
[Tessa] Outlaw Burger!
[Joe] Outlaw Burger...You get giant half pound burgers with two types of bacon
[Tessa] What is my favorite color?
[Joe] Blue!
[Tessa] Yeah! You're right!
[Joe] I always think of it as what color would your lightsaber be?
[Tessa] Blue?
[Joe] Yeah it really is blue
[Tessa] Who is my OTP?
[Joe] Johnlock
[Tessa] I know yours!
[Tessa] Dean and baby!
[Joe] Dean and baby!
[Tessa] Joe just loves Dean so much you guys don't understand
[Joe] I'm going to run a Dean Winchester Fan Blog
[Tessa] What is my favorite Harry Potter book?
[Joe] I think it's the first one
[Tessa] You got it! You got it! You're right! The first one!
[Tessa] LAST QUESTION! LAST QUESTION!
[Tessa] Who is my best friend?
[Joe] Me
[Tessa] Yeah! Yeah you're my best friend. Friends :)
[Tessa] He's laughing!
[Tessa] Weirdos stick together. ayyyyyy