today i'm here to tell you about the benefits of sink urination
okay seriously quit scowling at me don't look at me like i'm disgusting
i know what you do in there now you may ask yourself why would i use a sink when i have
two perfectly good bathrooms in the house well i'll tell you why sure those work and they are
the go-to for urination but i have an open mind i don't want to be bound by social constructs
and a lot of you have already ventured outside the porcelain ring maybe in the shower maybe outside
after a long night of drinking or just to keep the dog company alcohol is magic it takes this
princess in her 500 dollar dress and after a few white claws she's squatting in the alley to piss
like a homeless prostitute gumming some dude for room in his cardboard box behind the piggly wiggly
the sink just has so many advantages i'm sure you're asking yourself is sink urination right
for me unfortunately it's not for everybody i am sorry ladies but from what little i understand
about how your bodies work you're probably not going to be doing sink urination unless you've
got a stepladder or you're a jedi don't accuse me of being sexist accuse the laws of physics
it's really just not intended for people who have to sit to pee females some injured folks
soy boys now patches ohoulihan said that urine is sterile and you like the taste
i still can afford tap water so i'm not quite there yet on the economic scale
but it does make me feel better about putting it in my sink the fact that i urinate the sink keeps
my house cleaner how you might ask well because i no longer keep dirty dishes piled up in the
sink or clean ones in the rack i don't want the urine to splatter on my dishes i'm not a caveman
there are career advantages to this especially under covid house constraints i'm working right
here on the couch most of the time which means i'm often in meetings right here on the computer
if i need to urinate i can just walk over here to the sink do what i need to do and i can still hear
my meeting going from the living room if i do have to haul the computer with me say because i need to
maybe turn it off mute to respond sinks provide a much more discreet method of urinating during
a meeting the reason for this is that the urine has less far to travel so it doesn't build as much
velocity from the muzzle velocity to the point of impact as it would in a toilet plus here it's just
hitting a smooth metal surface not a big loud pool of water allow me to demonstrate first the toilet
yeah i'll do those tps reports right away and now the sink i've got a meeting with the bob's
pretty soon hot career tip avoid broadcasting your joystick to co-workers over a video call
it'll probably not just be a clm career limiting move it'll probably be a cem
career ending move so make sure the camera is off rotate it away from you do what you need
to do to make sure you never have more than two eyes looking at your co-workers over the camera
if you do slip up you might as well ask your co-workers if they want fries with it because you
might as well get in practice from where i sit here on my couch where i do my day-to-day work
if i wanted to go back to the master bathroom it takes me 20 steps to the toilet seven steps from
the toilet to the sink and 23 steps back to the couch which is a total of 50 steps
now even if i go to the closer front bathroom it's going to take me a total of 38 steps
if i just wanted to come to the sink however it's only 12 steps here i don't have to move it all to
wash my hands and then it's 12 steps back for a total of 24. that saves 14 steps per piss break
now 14 steps may not sound like much to you but if you figure 14 steps makes 14 seconds you've
got an average of around 10 piss breaks a day that makes 140 seconds a day and that means 14.2 hours
i get back in a year just by doing nothing more than pissing in the sink the sink also
provides a convenient barrier let's say you've got a crusty that's causing a little bit of a
splatter pattern issue that sink will provide a nice barrier so you end up looking like this
instead of this now six foot one i'm at the perfect height to be able to urinate in this sink
but if i want to minimize how much it looks like i'm riding an ostrich i can also use this
period lose the shoes and do a little bit of calf raises it's just basic bro science
and sink urination is a great way to help our environment my toilet uses 1.6 gallons of water
every time i flush the toilet but if we do this quick little experiment in the sink and i spray
about how much water i would use to rinse the piss out in the sink it's only three cups which
is roughly a fifth of a gallon now if i save 1.4 gallons of water every time i urinate in the sink
based on 10 piss breaks a day 365 days in a year that makes over 5 000 gallons of water that i've
saved for mother earth now that's something we can all get excited about even the hippies
and from a financial impact it also saves me 7.67 based on average water rates
i'm also just using water not harmful cleaners so i'm also helping the environment that way in fact
it kind of works itself out my dish soap dispenser leaks down the side of the sink and if i direct
my stream into it it kind of takes care of itself makes a little suds washes itself down it's great
everything kind of works out you may ask yourself will this sink also work for vomit like a toilet
and that would be an enthusiastic yes it absolutely will in fact let's say you have a
little bit too much ham for a family dinner and you wash it down with the fifth of night train
your vomit's gonna be a little chunky ask me how i know but you've got a garbage disposal
right here that'll take those chunks and make a nice liquid waste that'll go right down your
drain it's a win-win but that's also why you want to make sure you aim your vomit stream
in the disposal side not the other side now what about cracking stick again absolutely it
works for that in fact if you leave a little bit of residue that you forget to wash down on the
side of the sink you can actually use that later to put a better edge on your kitchen knives i'm
confident that those of you able to participate in sink urination are now convinced of all the
benefits from financial to career to efficiency to the environment and we'll start doing this soon
so if you're on a call with co-workers or friends and it sounds like they've got the waterfall cd
on the background don't judge we're doing it for the right reasons and before you know it you have
extra time to update your instagram profile and get those protein sponsorships you'll be buying
the sports car all while saving the earth and turning those calves into cattle subscribe to
my channel so you don't miss out on other great ideas i have like toilet seat serving tray this is
where the last girl damaged enough to date you sat so make that ass last you have no idea how long
you're going to play sex cable before you get to the next oasis of low esteem hors d'overs indeed
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