- You damn kids got no respect for your elders!
- Shut up!
- Kite day! Kite day! It's a freaking kite day!
Blue kite, bl-bl-bl-blue kite.
What the hell is this?
- Your grandpa's dying, and I don't want to take care of him anymore.
- Come on, Mom. I don't want his old, smelly ass in my house.
- Take him!
- You take him!
- You!
- No, you!
- Not it!
Hahahaha!
- Fine. Run away. But I'm not taking him in.
(yawns)
Ohh.
Fiiine.
- What's this?
- It's my stupid grandpa. I gotta take care of his dying ass.
What the hell is this?
- Dude, that's a bucket list.
All the things he wanted to do before he dies.
- But he didn't finish it.
- You should totally finish it for him!
- Is that what you want, Grandpa?
(angelic chorus)
- All right. So first thing on the list is, "Conquer your biggest fear."
What's your biggest fear?
- Aunt Jemima.
- You're afraid of syrup?
- No, no. I'm afraid of her.
She just sits on that bottle just smiling at me.
No matter where I go, I can feel those eyes piercing into my soul.
- So you're afraid of
THIS?!
- No! - Kiss her! - Get her away from me, Anthony!
(dramatic riff)
- If you want to get over your fear, you're gonna have to kiss her.
- I can't!
- Do it for your grandpa.
- No. No!
No, no!
I don't want to kiss her! (moans)
(kiss)
(screaming)
- All right, so, um, only 30 more to go.
Next up, we have, "Steal candy from a little kid."
- Sweet!
- No pun intended. (annoying giggle)
(assertive grunt) Gimme that!
(noisy eating)
(whimpers)
(groaning)
(screaming)
(groaning)
- So... how's that cookie taste?
- Can we just finish this stupid list?
(spits)
(screaming)
No, no...
no... NO!
AAH!!!
F--king Barbra Streisand!
AAAAHH!!!
- Al right. So last thing on the list is, "Eat cat litter."
- What?
- Yeah, already got some from the neighbor.
Eat up.
GLOM!
I finished your stupid bucket list, Grandpa. I hope you're happy!
(bell tolls)
- Sorry, dude.
Looks like we didn't make it in time.
- It's funny. Before this bucket list stuff, I thought my grandpa was a loser. But I guess I just didn't understand him.
I just wish I could have spent a little time with him before he...
Never mind. I'll see you later, man.
(sobbing)
- He totally fell for it!
- Ha, ha!
What an idiot! Who falls for a prank like that?
- Haha. Did you get him to eat the kitty litter?
- Yeah, you should've seen him. He was like...
(babbling) "I got a little cat poop in my mouth!" (groaning)
- Oh. Hang on, fellas. I got one more prank.
(bell tolls)
- Well, Grandpa, you were a great man.
I just wish we could-- - AAAHH!!
- AAAAAAHHHH!!!!
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Now who wants to go fly some kites?
'Cause it's a freaking kite day.