If you've got an addicted loved one who says one of these statements I'm about to tell you
it is very most likely a lie like way more often than not you shouldn't believe this now before
I tell you these statements or lies examples I want you to know that just because you're
not going to believe these anymore Doesn't necessarily mean that you should call them
out especially not right in the moment I have other videos about how and when
to call someone out of their addictive behavior or lies which I will link up at
the end of this video but for now I just want you to stop falling for it you don't always
have to call it out but you definitely don't have to believe it either so the first one
Some version of I only hide it because Blank for example I only hide my drinking because it
upsets you so much I just don't want to get you upset any kind of reason for hiding behavior is
definitely linked to addictive behavior and yeah there may be a little truth in some of
the reasons that they're giving you for hiding but the big reason they're hiding
it is because they know that the addictive behavior is out of bounds in some sort of way
So when you hear this statement it's important to understand that yeah they may be lying to
you but it's highly possible that they're not really telling themselves the whole truth about
the situation either even when people who have addictions drink or use or do whatever it is in
front of you there's probably a good amount of the drinking and using that's happening behind
the scenes that you don't even know about and this even goes for with their using
friends not quite true statement number two this is the first time that happened I've been helping
people with drug and alcohol problems for a very long time and almost always 9999% of the time
whatever you catch or find is just the very tip of the iceberg
okay sure it is totally possible that you caught them or busted them on the first time but how
likely is it probably not number three you're going to hear this one when you run across like
evidence of the substance or the paraphernalia or a bank charge when you run across some evidence
and you confront the person about it you might hear them tell you that oh that's old or that
happened a long time ago or oh you knew about that remember I told you that one is just almost like
a super standard one that you're almost always going to get at some point when you're dealing
with someone who has an addiction now number four is one of those lies that the person tells
other people but also that they're telling themselves to help keep themselves in denial
and this not quite true statement sounds something like it's the only thing that helps me with blank
like weed is the only thing that helps me with my anxiety it's the only thing that helps me with my
trauma my depression now with this particular lie it's a little complicated and the reason
it's complicated is because it maybe does help them a little bit initially but by the time
it's gone far enough that you're watching these videos it's not helping them anymore
and they may or may not realize that sometimes they're just telling you that because they
know you have a lot of empathy for them and you feel bad and it gets you to shut up and
move on and sometimes they really feel like it's the only thing that's helping
but they don't realize that what it's really helping with is the withdrawal cycle that's
happening as a result of the addictive behavior number five really common one is everyone does it
now no matter what the addictive behavior is probably not everyone does it so it's
definitely not true but I will admit that when you live that lifestyle that
there's a strong likelihood that pretty much everyone you put yourself around does do it
so again this is one of those lies that's maybe like partially designed to throw you
off course and make you think whatever they're doing is normal and or it's one of those lies
that they're telling themselves to stay in denial about the issue or and there's
a third or here or they're engaging in the behavior so much that literally everyone
around them that they interact with is doing it so it's somewhat the truth but that truth is
skewed because they're not really getting a good sample population for when they say
everyone now these next three are super important so pay close attention number
six untruth that you might hear from someone who has an addiction is it won't happen again
you often hear this statement after something like really bad happened as a result of their
addictive behavior maybe a dui maybe they got angry and mean maybe they left the house maybe
they forgot a responsibility essentially something big falls through the cracks and
it's not so much that they don't mean it when they say it to you it won't happen
again but unless they have a really good action plan that follows that it won't happen again and
I know how it happened and I know how I'm going to prevent it from happening and it like sounds
reasonable it's probably going to happen again number seven is any version of it's your fault
for example I only drink because you're so dang controlling and nagging people with
addictions have seriously strong superpowers of being able to somehow make it be your fault
now yes I do agree that there are some things that families can do that are not very helpful
okay and if you've been watching my videos you probably have an idea about what those things are
but it's really important for you not to buy into this belief that it's your fault they're doing
whatever addictive behavior unless of course you're like adding it on and encouraging them
to do it and saying here it is and even then I don't even quite know if you could say it's your
fault but I would say Seriously dude why are you watching these videos if you're doing that
number eight now before I say this one I will admit that it's occasionally true but more
often not true number eight is I'll pay you back now the I'll pay you back can obviously
be about money but it can also be about other things like I'll pay back this favor
sometimes the person means it when they say it they have every intention of doing it but the fact
is that addiction brings so much unmanageability to your life that I really couldn't count on it so
if you are thinking of giving something to someone whether that's time energy money whatever it is
that you really can't afford to give And then I want you to think long and hard before you do it
because if you really need them to reciprocate that or pay you back there is a strong chance
that they may not be able to do it even if they have every intention of it when they say it to you
now I have met people who have addictions who actually do pay back their debts and
they do reciprocate so I'm not saying that one never happens but seriously have you done
it before did they pay you back the last time ask yourself that it's not that it's not okay
to help someone who has an addiction with money or anything else for that matter but
I wouldn't do more than you could afford and I wouldn't do something that you're going to
be resentful of if it doesn't come back your way now I know this video was really just scratching
the surface of this topic so if you know some other common lies that you might hear if you
have an addictive loved one definitely put those in the comments below and up next I want you to
watch this video because it's about how and when to confront addictive behavior