- (PvF) We're all mad here.
(Martine gasps)
- Okay, Cheshire.
- I think I'm about to fall down a hole...
- (screams) You're the Cheshire Cat!
- Oh! - Oh yes!
- Wow!
- I was the Cheshire Cat when I performed it on ice,
when I was a competitive figure skater.
- (PvF) What are we doing?
- We're going down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland.
- (PvF) For a super sweet Try Not To Eat.
- Oh, that's so fun! - Ah! (laughs)
- (PvF) What's your favorite Alice quote?
- I like how awesome the queen is when she goes
off with her head! - Good!
- (PvF) Chef Ash is on her honeymoon,
which means I was back in the kitchen,
and trust me, if you fail, it is off with your heads.
- Uh... (Dani gags)
- Oh no.
- (PvF) You ready? - I'm ready.
- Let's do it.
- (Alice) Oh!
- (gasps) Ooh! - Drink me!
Ooh!
- We're gonna have the little eat me, drink me things.
(Martine squeaks)
- You never drink something if you never see the person make it.
- I love this movie. - Aww.
- Almost certain. - (laughs) Yeah, almost.
- Like, she lives life on the edge, Alice.
- Oh, they're so cute!
- I remember seeing these as a kid,
and being like I just wanna try these so bad!
- Oh, oh, oh, woah! Oh!
- So if you show up in a random spot,
and it says eat me. - And you're like yeah.
- Are you eating it? - Yeah, I am.
(both laugh) If it looks that good,
I might just do it.
- Oh.
- Look at this box!
- Gosh!
- (PvF) While generally warn against food and drink
that tells you to eat them,
these cookies and potion are totally worth the ride.
Just make sure you remember which does which.
- This is incredible. I've never felt so weak.
- Ooh, it smells like blue!
- Yeah, let's go for it.
I don't know why we wouldn't.
- This is really hard! I don't know who I'm kidding.
- Do I have to do this?
- You're blue.
- I'm... - Da ba dee da ba di.
- I'm very subservient,
the cookies are telling me to do something.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
(buzzer)
- That's everything you want. - Yes.
- But what could be at the end, right?
- I don't know, and then if the next thing is like,
even better than this,
then I'm gonna hate myself for having not eaten this.
- For having not eaten it, yeah. - Yeah!
- I can't stop myself! Help me, Izzy.
- What do I do? - Huh!
(both laugh)
(buzzer) - Oh.
I think I really helped. I did my best.
- This is yummy! - Yeah, it tastes magical!
- Wait, this is something I would eat up,
as like, a six year old, like...
What is in this? It's glittery!
- Did you see the glitter? - It sparkles!
- Think about it of like the younger you.
You know, would you give up a once in a lifetime opportunity
of getting to live as Alice?
- Why aren't you eating? Let's talk about that.
- Why are you trying to convince me to eat here?
- What, what do you mean?
- Are you trying to convince me to eat here?
- Oh my God! - Mmm!
- I haven't had sugar cookies in so long.
- Are you gonna grow?
Girl, you're gonna grow!
- Oh no, oh no! - Even it out, even it out!
Even it out, even it out! (Dani slurps)
- Cheers! - Cheers!
- Cheersing all the way!
- Am I like 20 times bigger now?
- Voomp! - Or smaller?
- I think that we should not focus on me,
and I think we should highlight you,
'cause this is your dream.
- You know what?
- And also, you're wearing the speaking ears.
- Pfft! (laughs)
- Does the blue taste like blue?
- Yeah.
- (PvF) Did you know that Lewis Carroll
almost titled the series Alice's Adventures Underground?
- That's stupid.
- (PvF) Or Alice's hour if Elfland?
- Elfland? - Where are the elves?
- I didn't see a single elf, yeah. - There's not even any elves.
- Wow!
Much better name, Wonderland. - Adventures Underground.
- For real though, I'm gonna steal this box.
- (PvF) Not if you don't eat it.
- You can't steal the box.
That was, that was very unmerry.
- This was so worth it.
I'm excited to see what's next, though.
(Noah laughs)
- Ah! - Yes!
- (gasps) This is the live one!
- She's amazing.
(Noah laughs) Like such a good actress.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love her hair.
- How did they make her look like that?
- He has a little bit on the side.
(both laugh)
- Did you steal my tarts?
- No, your majesty.
(gasps)
(both laugh)
- I think we know what's gonna happen to him.
- (Frog) I was so hungry!
- Wipe your lips next time!
(Noah laughs)
- (Frog) Please, please don't!
- Are we eating like frog legs?
I don't know, they said off with his head. (laughs)
- (gasps) This is so beautiful Nicole!
- (PvF) O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
We've got one of the queen's tarts,
which has certainly been painted red with sweet berries and cream!
- It's like I'm at, like, a Disney princess wedding.
- ♪ Berries and cream ♪ ♪ Berries and cream ♪
♪ I'm a little lad who loves ♪ ♪ Berries and cream ♪
- I'm eating this for sure. - We have to, we have to.
- It has red on it right now. - (PvF) Oh yes.
- And it's now on my nose. - (PvF) Yes it is!
- Incredible!
(Martine screams) - (PvF) Your nose is...
- (both) Cheers!
(buzzer) - Mmm.
- How's she taste? (buzzer)
- This looks amazing, and if I know you guys,
this is like full cream.
I'm selling this to myself, stop it.
- I actually have never seen something so pretty in my life.
- (PvF) Aww, thank you.
- That's like, to imagine going to a bakery and seeing this,
I would buy it 100% of the time.
- Did you eat my tart? - No.
- Off with his head! - Wait wait, God no!
I'm so hungry!
- (PvF) Who's been eating my tarts!?
- Not I, not I. (both laugh)
- I have to be really careful about touching these,
because as we've discovered...
- You put your nose right... - I have a tendency to touch them,
and then I just put them in my mouth.
So sorry that you can't eat this pie, Nicole.
- (Chanse) Oh my gosh! - (PvF) You just ate it!
(Martine screams) - [Censored].
- It's so fruity! - (laughs) Is that so?
- Mmm! Wow!
- It's perfect.
- I'm strong enough, and I'm also scared enough.
(PvF laughs)
Yeah.
- You have to know that I'm just, all I'm doing is praying.
I'm just literally sitting here praying
that it's like this 10X.
- (PvF) Izzy, you don't want?
- I want to feel something, Nicole. I want to win.
- Wow! Very good!
- Mm-hmm. - Mmm!
- Off to the next!
No, no, no, no, no, no! (Noah gasps)
- Ah?
(Dani gasps) Oh, what!?
- Oh my God, the clams! - Yes.
- Aww, I want oysters!
This was the saddest scene. - Yeah!
- They're all little babies. - The whole story, yes!
But they're gonna be so tasty!
- We're eating babies!
- They are so cute!
And then the homie just eats 'em all up!
(Jayka laughs) Remember?
- And he's trying to eat it without the cook knowing,
or the other guy knowing. - Without the oysters knowing.
- He's such a sly little devil.
- Wow wow, rizz.
- Do we have oysters? - It's oysters?
- Oh my God, I frickin' love oysters! - We're gonna eat oysters?
(Benison babbles)
- Oysters on the half shell?
- Oh my gosh. (Benison smacks lips)
- Ooh, without the oysters, but he wants to also eat all of them.
- Oh yeah, that, you're right. - And not have him know.
- Oh my gosh, you're right!
- ♪ We'll mix 'em all together ♪ - Woo!
- Ooh, that sauce looks good!
- Oh, we're gonna get the bread too?
- Oh my God, we're gonna get the bread.
Please, please, please.
- I... - Oh man!
- Oh my God!
- This smells amazing!
- (PvF) The time has come, my little ones,
to eat these delicious baked oysters
with peppercorn and mustard seed.
Quickly, before the walrus and carpenter get here.
Have you ever had baked oysters?
- No, and I really want...
Like, I've always wanted to try this.
- She did say quickly. You're right, you're right.
- She did say quickly. - She did say quickly.
- (PvF) You get the butter. - Ooh!
- Woah, juicy!
- This is like, if I was at a restaurant right now,
this would be like $120.
(buzzer) (Dani slurps)
- Cheers! - Oh, let's go!
(buzzer) - Mmm!
- Baked looks like next level.
Nicole's looking at me like is this the time?
Are you gonna cave?
- Mmm, they're scrumptious.
- This is the best day of my life.
- This is amazing! This is amazing!
- I want to cave so badly!
Also, fun fact, you can eat parsley after you have garlic,
and it negates the effect of garlic.
- (PvF) And lemon.
- Lemon does that too? - (PvF) Yeah.
The best time to eat oysters are months with the letter R.
- Oh my gosh, I had no idea.
- Okay, so avoid the summer.
- They're very tasty.
- Are you feeling very merry on your unbirthday?
Okay, just a whole chunk, eat, just, I would, hurry,
and just (grumbles) - Just... (laughs)
(grumbles) Did I do it? (Izzy grumbles)
- Who's passing oysters? No one.
No one's passing this up.
- I am stronger than this.
I am stronger than the traps you lay, Nicole!
When would I ever get this opportunity again?
- All I can hear is the people in the comments going
why does Martine never win?
I'm gonna do it for you guys!
- (PvF) Izzy, you don't want any?
- I wanna win, Nicole!
- This is exactly what I needed.
- Mmm! (both laugh)
What the...
- (PvF) Are you sure?
- Yeah, I gotta say no, but thank you for that.
That was nice. - Oh my God.
- (Hatter) So no wonder you're late!
- No wonder you're late! (laughs)
- Tea party? We're gonna have a tea party?
- Tea party.
- That is always how I stir my tea.
- Oh, right, right.
- What's at a tea party? So many delicious things.
- Ugh! - Yum!
- Just bap it open.
- These characters are so fun. - We're gonna eat a watch?
(Noah laughs)
- I felt so bad for the White Rabbit.
He's like just, he needs a Xanax.
(Noah laughs)
(both clucking)
- It sounds like a chicken.
- If y'all ever do drugs and watch Alice in Wonderland,
I feel like that would just not go well at all.
- You want the butter?
- (Rabbit) Oh, no, no, no! - No!
- I'm not gonna lie, it looks like really good butter.
- For real.
- It looks like really good butter.
- And I'm sober watching it!
- Yeah.
- Imagine being frickin' on something!
- Yeah, like, trippin'.
- I prefer this Mad Hatter.
I mean, I love Johnny Depp, but I love the like happy crazy.
- Mm-hmm. - Versus like, the dark crazy.
- Jam!
- No, he's literally, what is he on?
Like what is the Mad Hatter on?
- (Hatter) Don't let's be silly! Lemon!
- Don't let's be silly! - Literally.
Lemon is different.
(clock rings)
- What!?
- It's a clock dessert?
- (PvF) You'll never be late now that the Mad Hatter
and March Hare have fixed up the White Rabbit's watch
with butter and jam.
Do try a bite, it's an excellent idea.
- I made a mistake. I made a mistake three rounds ago.
(Martine laughs) I should've eaten the cookies,
and then I should've had the tart,
and then I should've had the oysters,
and then I could've had this.
- Oh! - (both) Oh!
Oh!
- Don't lick it, don't lick it!
- Ah, oh! - Oh my God!
- Look, you can see time. You can tell time.
What time is it? It's 11, wait.
(Benison laughs)
- Why have I made these choices today?
I should've eaten everything! I should've eaten everything!
The punishment would've been so worth this!
- I put it on you! (both scream)
- Oh my God! Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
(both laugh)
- (PvF) What is happening?
- She... (both laugh)
She looked at this, and thought it was 11 o'clock,
but it's a roman numeral two.
That's why she kept saying it's 11 something,
but it's actually two something!
- If I could wipe the last 20 minutes and redo it,
I would, I really would.
(clock ticks)
Wow, a wish came true!
We're starting with the oysters! - Oh my God!
- We're starting with the oysters!
Oh my God, I've never had an oyster in my life!
(buzzer)
- Oh my God.
(buzzer)
- Mmm!
(buzzer)
Mm-hmm.
(buzzer)
- Feast, my child. - Mmm.
- Yeah.
- Oh my gosh. (buzzer)
He really went for it like that.
(buzzer)
- I can't believe you just did that.
- Oh my goodness.
- Both of you!
- (PvF) Always full of surprises here.
It is Wonderland, after all.
- (laughs) I'm gonna pay for this.
- (PvF) Lewis Carroll suffered from a rare neurological disorder
that caused hallucinations and made objects appear
larger or smaller than they are.
The disease wasn't discovered until much later,
but it was nicknamed the Alice in Wonderland syndrome.
- Oh, cool! - Oh my goodness.
- So it's like a real thing. - (PvF) Yeah.
- That's crazy!
- (PvF) Are you ready for the last round?
(Martine sighs) - Let's do it.
- Ugh!
One side will make you grow taller,
while the other will make you grow smaller.
- I love this scene!
- Are we smoking? Like, what's going on here?
- (laughs) Yeah.
- ♪ A E I O ♪
- ♪ A E I O A ♪ - Vowels!
- ♪ U E I A ♪
- My favorite! - Why does he have a hookah?
- Is how he's just saying vowels! (both laughs)
- Oh? Boop.
Who are you? - Are you?
- My girl and I were watching this, and she was like
that's absolutely you. (both laugh)
- So cute.
- Like why does he, I'm so confused why he has a hookah.
- See?
- (Caterpillar) Explain yourself.
- I can't believe you brought a hookah into this episode.
- Hookah? - Hookah, and food?
What!? - Ooh, what is this?
- What kind of, what?
I can't register what's going on right now!
What is this? - Oh my God.
- (React) Curiouser and curiouser,
these magic stuffed portobello mushrooms
do indeed look tasty,
but I wonder what will happen if you eat the whole thing?
- You'll be satisfied and happy and full,
and you'll have just eaten a wonderful mushroom.
- Pop, pop, pop, pop, dead. Egg yolk, oh!
- This is nuts. (buzzer)
(laughs)
(buzzer)
(Jayka laughs)
(buzzer)
- Ooh!
Is she a cheese of sorts? (buzzer)
A dough, perhaps?
- Oy yoi yoi!
Mmm!
- (PvF) Before Chef Ash went on her honeymoon,
she did give us her secret stuffed portobello mushroom recipe.
- This is so...
This is top five things I've ever eaten in my life.
- I just wanna smell it. - That's how good this is.
- This is nice and toasty. - This is really good.
- Oh!
Thanks, Chef Ash! - Thank you, Chef Ash!
Fire, fire!
- I can't have come this far!
- Join me over here, and get damned quick,
'cause this is great!
- This is a non-tobacco based hookah, everyone.
So shut up! Thanks.
- Who are you?
- Yeah, that was crazy.
- That was so tasty.
- (both) Mmm!
- Mmm-mmm!
- (PvF) Well, that is it, that is our challenge.
- I think we won. - Yeah, we totally won.
- Either way!
- (PvF) Congratulations, Martine!
And Izzy. - Hey!
- (PvF) You guys were able to avoid these dishes,
and for that... - They get a prize.
- ♪ Very merry unbirthday to me ♪ ♪ To you, to me ♪
- ♪ A very merry unbirthday ♪
- (PvF) To them, not you!
- Oh, please be something amazing!
It's an unbirthday party!?
- ♪ Boop boop boop boop ♪
- Ooh!
Aww, I wanna be at Disneyland right now.
- ♪ Day to you ♪ - ♪ Day to me ♪
- ♪ To you, a very very ♪ ♪ Unbirthday ♪
- ♪ To you ♪ - ♪ To you ♪
(Noah laughs)
- ♪ Let's all congratulate us with ♪ - ♪ Another cup of tea ♪
♪ Very merry ♪
- ♪ Unbirthday to you ♪
- ♪ To ♪ I told you! (laughs)
(Noah laughs)
- Ugh!
- ♪ A very merry unbirthday ♪ - ♪ To me ♪
- ♪ For you ♪
- ♪ A very merry unbirthday ♪ - ♪ For me ♪
- ♪ For you ♪ - Wow.
- A giant cake! Make your wish come true!
- He's so iconic.
- Woah!
- Ooh!
- (PvF) A very merry unbirthday to you!
You've been invited to this very exclusive tea party,
with scones, macarons, finger sandwiches,
and of course, your very own unbirthday cake.
Be sure to make a stark raving mad wish!
- I am so excited!
- Oh my God, every bite!
- The sugar cubes, wait! - I want everything!
- Mmm.
I love my unbirthday!
- I concurred.
- Yo, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life!
- Mmm, mmm! Oh my God, that is so good!
- Oh my... (laughs)
- ♪ A very merry unbirthday to me ♪
- Can I eat this later? - (PvF) I'm gonna eat it later.
- No!
No, stop it, no!
- Oh my! That's so good.
- (PvF) Well, unfortunately, Noah, Dani, Benison, and Jayka.
You were all tempted, and for that, you must suffer the consequences.
- Oh, yeah, see... - Mm!
- This is the second one.
- She puts a finger in there.
- She looks so good. - Oh, earthworm fat.
- Oh no, this is where she like, makes the whole concoction of random,
and she like spits in it and stuff.
- I totally forgot about this scene.
- Yum! - Mm-mm.
- Mmm!
- Ew! - A whole finger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ew ew!
- I'm telling you, this movie used to scare me so bad.
Oh my gosh. - Yeah, you see that?
- (queen) Blow. - Blow.
On the plus side, if you are oversized,
it will shrink you down.
- Oh, she... - There we go.
- What the...
- This punishment is a must-iment.
Oh, what the heck is this?
Why are you bringing in like a science thing?
(Martine gasps) - What?
- (PvF) You've grown to an enormous size with all your eating,
the White Queen's concocted just the thing to help,
a shrinking potion made with all the gross things
that'll make you rethink your life choices.
- Okay, okay, okay, we're doing it.
We're doing it, we're doing it, I'm starting at the nail.
I'm starting at the nail.
- What are you smelling?
(Dani sighs)
I have to, I have to smell it.
Woah!
- Ew, what is this? - (gags) Smell this, smell this.
- Wait, Wait, no, I'm not smelling that! (laughs)
- Ugh, smell that, smell that!
- (coughs) It's the saltiest thing ever!
- Oh no, oh no.
- Mmm.
- Ugh!
- What the [censored] is that?
Oh my God, I literally barely tasted it.
It literally touched my tongue.
- Ugh! It tastes like!
- It's like spice...
- Like a tree [censored] or something.
- Ew!
- Cheers.
- Oh, it's the spiciest thing ever!
- Okay. - What is it?
(Dani growls) - Oh yeah, you got it.
(Izzy gasps)
- (PvF) Oop. - No one saw that.
- Pfft! (gags) - Oh my God!
- Oh, the flavor is so bad!
It literally is like someone, you know people on bikes or cars,
when they burn rubber? - Ugh!
- (PvF) Well, it's still three more sips.
- I know!
(PvF laughs) (Dani gags)
- Four? (Benison coughs)
It's so salty!
(Noah gags) (Martine screams)
(Noah retches) (Martine screams)
- Oh yeah, we'll cheers cookies!
- Yeah. - Cheers.
- Ooh. - Ugh!
- Okay, five.
- (PvF) (laughs) Well, that does it for today.
Any final thoughts?
- I'm very happy. - Ugh.
- And a merry unbirthday to all of you!
- I wanna go back to Wonderland. (laughs)
- (PvF) Was it worth it? - Mm-mm.
Mm.
(PvF laughs)
- Bye! - Oh, goodbye.
- (PvF) Well, that was quite a successful episode,
if I do say so myself.
Thank you guys so much for watching
this Try Not To Eat: Alice in Wonderland.
Let us know what you thought in the comments below,
and be sure to like and subscribe for more!
Alright, cheers. Off with their heads!
Mmm!