*intro music*
[Jim:] In regards to this video, f*** Christmas, like, f*** Lego.
[Zoe:] Do you know how excited I am to do some Lego?
[Jim:] I love Lego! I haven't done Lego for years.
[Jim:] I wonder if this go- Martha, come here.
[Zoe:] Look at her! She's like, I'll just go on the table.
[Zoe:] Anyway, I got us these because, like elves, we're gonna be making toys.
[Jim:] Great! Oh, that's so cute!
[Zoe:] Hello everybo-
[Zoe:] Hello everybody! Welcome.
[Zoe:] This is the first Christmas video I've filmed.
[Jim:] Is it?
[Zoe:] It is!
[Jim:] Oh, I'm so excited!
[Zoe:] I'm here- I'm gathered here today with Jim!
[Jim:] And two dogs!
[Zoe:] And two dogs who will no doubt make a mess
[Zoe:] and create havoc and eat Lego.
[Jim:] Yeah, this is Martha's first time with Lego.
[Zoe:] Aw!
[Jim:] I've got a feeling she's gonna have some chunky poos coming up.
[Zoe:] Oh dear...
[Zoe:] Pieces you can put together! Ugh!
[Zoe:] So for this video I thought, what can I do with Jim?
[Zoe:] Lego was the answer.
[Zoe:] I actually bought this for Alfie last year.
[Jim:] Did you?
[Zoe:] And he never did it.
[Jim:] Did he even open it?
[Zoe:] Well, I opened it.
[Jim:] Oh okay.
[Zoe:] Oh, look at this.
[Jim:] Blimey, there's-
[Zoe:] Is that all of it?
[Jim:] There's a lot going on in here. Oof!
[Zoe:] Oh my...
[Jim:] Look at Martha already. She's like, yes, please!
[Zoe:] She's, like, yes!
[Zoe:] No.. course not *gasp*
[Jim:] It's a car. It's not -it's not Tan driving.
[Jim:] Tan's taken the car out and the way Zoe's driveway works is
[Jim:] the car kind of comes straight towards this big window
[Jim:] and then turns round and if it was Tan it would've gone through.
[Zoe:] See the good thing is, because there's two of us, you can start on one bit
[Zoe:] and I can start on the other bit.
[Zoe:] So which do you wanna do?
[Zoe:] Do you wanna do the sleigh, or do you wanna build the little house?
[Jim:] Can I do the sleigh?
[Zoe:] Yeah! Do the sleigh. That is bag number one.
[Jim:] Bag number one.
[Zoe:] Okay, I'll start on the house, which is bag number two.
[Jim:] Zoe texted me yesterday saying "Bring a Christmas jumper!"
[Jim:] and I don't have a one, so I said to Tanya, 'have you got any that'll fit?'
[Jim:] So she found a girl's large.
[Jim:] So it's a bit short in the arms.
[Zoe:] It looks dashing.
[Jim:] Thanks very much.
[Both:] Dashing through the snow.
[Zoe:] Yeah. [Jim:] I like it.
[Zoe:] Oh my god, Jim, this is really exciting!
[Jim:] So these are the instructions for your bit...
[Zoe:] Oh yeah, there's your bit. [Jim:] I’ll take that.
[Jim:] Mine's gonna be really short and- *laughs*
[Zoe:] Oh no... We've lost a head. Oh.
[Jim:] Don't lose your head, Zoe.
*sarcastic laugh*
[Zoe:] Oh Jim... there's no hair.
[Zoe:] Why would the hair be in another bag to the head and the body?
[Jim:] I don't think there's really much rhyme or reason to it.
[Zoe:] *gasp* There we go!
[Jim:] Oh, cute! [Zoe:] Mrs. Claus. [Jim:] Bless her.
[Zoe:] How's the sleigh going?
[Jim:] Well, I mean, that's a reindeer apparently.
[Zoe:] I assume they would-
[Jim:] Oh god!
[Jim:] I panicked. It was the dog.
[Jim:] Oh, jimminy Christmas.
[Zoe:] Oh, jimminy Christmas.
[Zoe:] No Martha!
[Zoe:] No! No, no no!
[Jim:] Maybe it's, uh, Mrs. Claus Merkin.
[Zoe:] Ohh!
[Jim:] Do you know what a merkin is?
[Zoe:] Yeah, a pubic wig.
[Jim:] Why would you bother?
[Zoe:] Do people actually have pubic wigs? [Jim:] I don’t know.
[Jim:] Martha, you’re a merkin. [Zoe:] Martha merkin.
[Zoe:] So many bags. So many bits.
[Zoe:] We always seem to have a lot of innuendos in our videos, Jim.
[Jim:] I know. [Zoe:] Have you ever noticed?
[Jim:] I have, actually. I don't think anyone's ever had a video with me in that haven't been innuendos.
[Zoe:] Yeah, I think it's just you.
[Jim:] And it's not like- I don't do it. It just happens.
[Zoe:] That's an innuendo in itself.
*laughing*
[Jim:] When you're doing fiddly bits, do your fingers ever feel a bit tingly?
[Jim:] Do you know what I mean? Like, uhh! And it's kind of a bit, like...
[Zoe:] Yeah, like your fingers are the wrong size.
[Jim:] Yeah.
[Zoe:] Oh, no, I missed out one whole step!
[Jim:] Oh no!
[Zoe:] I'm gonna have to go back.
[Zoe:] Gonna have to peel all this off.
*snap* *gasp*
[Jim:] Oh, that didn't sound good.
[Jim:] Welcome to the North Pole, everyone! In miniature.
[Zoe:] Oh, cute! Oh, you've got really cute bits!
[Jim:] I've got a Santa, a reindeer, and the North Pole thing.
[Jim:] Martha, your anus is actually touching me.
[Jim:] I don’t like it. [Zoe:] Ugh!
[Zoe:] Ooh, some black flames.
[Jim:] I'm gonna sneeze.
[Zoe:] Not on the Lego.
[Jim:] Wait, it's coming.
*sneeze*
[Zoe:] Bless you. [Jim:] *sneezes again*
[Zoe:] Bless you. [Jim:] *sneezes a third time*
[Zoe:] Bless you.
*yet another sneeze*
[Zoe:] Bless you.
[Jim:] *final sneeze* [Zoe:] BLESS YOU!
[Zoe:] Everyone's gonna think we're crazy for doing this.
[Zoe:] Maybe I should've got age seven Lego, or maybe even age five.
[Jim:] Make it a bit easier. No, I like a challenge.
[Zoe:] Jim, you’ve gotta try that. [Jim:] What is it?
[Zoe:] Chocolate orange.
[Jim:] Ooh, hello, I'm into that.
[Zoe:] *mocking* Ooh, 'ello.
[Jim:] That's *unintelligible*
[Jim:] You know they used to make, um, glue out of horses?
[Zoe, in disbelief:] 'Scuse me, sorry, what?
[Jim:] You didn't know that?
[Zoe:] Out of horses? [Jim:] Yeah, like,
[Jim:] horse hoofs, or horse bones, you just melt them down and make glue.
[Zoe:] Ugh, I did not know that. [Jim:] You didn’t know that?
[Jim:] Christmas tree. [Zoe:] That’s so cool!
*both singing* Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
[Zoe:] Welcome ho-ho-home.
[Jim:] Oh heyyyyy.
[Jim:] Nice one, Santa. He's nothing if not, like, a....
[Jim:] a wordsmith. [Zoe:] Bant-a.
[Jim:] Banta-ful. [Zoe:] Banta Claus.
[Jim:] Banta Santa.
[Jim:] Oh my God! I've just realised I've sat on my leg.
[Jim:] Oof! [Zoe:] Ooh, dead leg!
[Jim:] You know when it suddenly hits you, like,
[Jim:] Ooh!
[Zoe:] I was so surprised last year how many people were, like,
[Zoe:] online, last year, on Christmas Day.
[Jim:] But you know what? [Zoe:] ‘Cause I see it as, like,
[Zoe:] my one day of the year to not look at my phone.
[Jim:] It's a little bit boring though, Christmas Day.
[Zoe:] WHAT? [Jim:] Yeah, well, *laughs*
[Zoe:] Jim!
[Jim:] Once you've done the- *laughs*
[Zoe:] How would I want to be proposed to? [Jim:] Yeah.
[Jim:] I bet, okay?
[Jim:] You would want to order pizza,
[Jim:] open the pizza box, there's a big greasy ring.
[Zoe:] Or it just says, 'Will you marry me?'
[Zoe:] He got the man at Domino's- you know when you can an additional comment?
[Jim:] Yeah. [Zoe:] How many people do you think have done that?
[Jim:] You know the, uh, the little thing that keeps the pizza together in the box?
[Jim:] The ring's like that. Blue-tacked on top of it.
[Zoe:] Don't worry, Zoe. The pile is going down, as much as you think it isn't.
[Jim:] You've got this.
[Zoe:] Ooh, d'you know what? This is so satisfying, and when it's done I'm gonna put it *unintelligible* place.
[Jim:] For about a day.
[Zoe:] For a day, until someone breaks it. [Jim:] And then go ‘ugggh, God, Lego.'
[Zoe:] Every page I turn it gets more and more complex.
[Jim:] But look, you haven't got as many bits left now. So it's got to be getting easier.
*Zoe sighs* [Jim:] You’re getting there.
[Zoe:] Yes. [Jim:] Soldier through.
[Jim:] *exclaims* Look!
[Zoe:] Yay, a sleigh!
[Zoe:] The lights looks so cute. [Jim:] Now I need to make all the reindeer.
[Jim:] It does look really cute. [Zoe:] Yeah!
[Zoe:] Watch this bit.
[Zoe:] Ayyy! [Jim:] Oyyyy.
[Zoe:] What a creative day we're having. [Jim:] I know.
[Jim:] How's your back feeling?
[Zoe:] Oh, fine. *Jim laughs*
[Zoe:] My feet, however, I can't feel.
[Zoe:] Jim? [Jim:] Yes?
[Jim:] Have you gone wrong again?
[Zoe:] No, it's just- this is a whole book of instructions.
[Jim:] Yes.
[Zoe:] *sings Rockin' Robin*
[Zoe:] Oh no, Jim.
[Zoe:] This isn't working out so well for me.
[Zoe:] *gasp*
[Zoe:] Wow, that looks so good. [Jim:] Isn’t it adorable?
[Zoe:] *quietly* Oh no, Jim.
[Zoe:] I did it again. *Jim laughs*
[Zoe:] Frickin' photo above the- oh, it's a fireplace!
[Jim:] Had you not noticed this?
[Zoe:] No!
*both laugh*
[Jim:] How did you not notice that? [Zoe:] Jim, it’s a little fireplace!
[Jim:] It's really adorable. How do you not notice it's a fireplace?
[Zoe:] Because all along, it's just looked like a...
*Jim laughs*
[Jim:] You don't open a door to your house that goes in, do you?
[Zoe:] No. Come on, Lego. *funny voice* Sort it out.
[Jim:] *funny voice* Sort it out, Lego.
[Jim:] Just so you know,
[Jim:] this is the final touch.
[Zoe:] Oh no. [Jim:] What have you done?
[Jim:] What have you done?
[Jim:] Is it brilliant?
[Zoe:] You know how I said, 'Oh, it's really interesting how the roof's not central?'
[Jim:] Is it supposed to be central? [Zoe:] Yeah.
[Zoe:] *whispers* Ohh f***.
[Jim:] But, on the plus side,
[Jim:] Dun dun dun dun!!!
[Zoe, mocking:] On the plus side, mine's perfect. *laughs*
[Zoe:] I'm so bad at this.
[Zoe:] Okay. Look what I didn't do.
[Zoe:] I didn't put these on.
[Zoe:] Yay!
[Jim:] But it still isn't quite right.
[Jim:] Oh, no, it is right.
[Zoe:] Yeah. [Jim:] There we go.
[Zoe:] Saved the day. [Jim:] Thank God.
[Jim:] Santa's not going to die of hypothermia.
[Zoe:] Oh, I did wonder why that roof was so offset.
[Jim:] Christmas isn't cancelled. We're good.
[Jim:] Oh, there's also an extension of the house.
[Zoe:] Oh good.
[Zoe:] Good then.
[Zoe:] Oh. [Jim:] Yep.
[Jim:] It's all right. We're gonna power through. It'll be fine.
[Jim:] I'm not leaving until this is done.
[Jim:] We're getting there.
[Zoe:] It's just layer upon layer, Jim.
[Zoe:] Oh look at this bit. This bit's fun!
[Zoe:] Windows!
[Zoe:] Oh, flippin' heck.
[Zoe:] *gasps* Yes, Jim. It's really coming together now.
[Jim:] I feel like you’ve said that to me a number of times. *Zoe laughs*
*Zoe sighs*
[Zoe:] Twenty years later, [Jim:] Yeah, I know.
[Zoe:] myself and Jim are still here.
[Zoe:] Doing Lego.
[Jim:] Yayyy!
[Zoe:] Jim.
[Jim:] What? [Zoe:] I’ve got pieces missing.
[Jim:] You don't.
[Zoe:] I do. [Jim:] What are you missing?
[Zoe:] Oh, maybe you’ve got them in your bag. [Jim:] Might do.
[Zoe:] How's the extension coming on?
[Jim:] It's getting there.
[Jim:] These things take time.
[Zoe:] *gasps* Ooh!
[Zoe:] I'm making a chariot now!
[Jim:] A chariot?
[Zoe:] Well, maybe just a chair. *laughs* [Jim:] Either way.
[Zoe:] Can you see this bit?
[Zoe:] In my pile?
[Jim:] That's the bit you gave me.
[Jim:] *laughs* Isn't it?
[Zoe:] Yeah. [Jim:] That is the bit you gave me.
[Zoe:] I can't make the chariot.
[Jim:] *unintelligible* [Zoe:] Ooh.
[Zoe:] If I just shove it, it might.
[Zoe:] I mean, it's a bit wonky. *laughs*
[Jim:] Ah, it's fine.
[Jim:] We've been doing this for a long time. Um, starvation kicked in.
[Jim:] So- *Zoe laughs*
[Jim:] I'm now eating. We've been here for hours.
[Zoe:] Yeah, we actually have.
[Zoe:] At least when I've done this, I can help you on that bit.
[Zoe:] Oh. [Jim:] Is there one under this sofa?
[Jim:] Probably a spare bit really. [Zoe:] Yeah, let’s just hope. *laughs*
[Zoe:] Ta-da!
[Zoe:] Wait a minute! *gasps*
[Zoe:] Oh.
[Zoe:] Ready?
[Jim:] Ah, the top goes on. [Zoe:] Is that the right-
[Zoe:] We'll make it 8 p.m.
[Jim:] That's all right.
[Jim:] It'll be 8 p.m. by the time we finish.
[Zoe:] Yeah.
[Zoe:] We have a roof!
*Zoe humming*
[Zoe:] Oh, he's sad.
[Jim:] Is he a sad elf?
[Zoe:] Yeah. [Jim:] Oh why?
[Zoe:] I don't know. That really makes me sad.
[Jim:] Don't ruin Christmas for everyone, Lego.
[Jim:] Go on, love. *Zoe sneezes*
[Jim:] Oh, bless you.
[Zoe:] Just one big one for me.
[Zoe:] Imagine if it was your job to make these to test that the instructions work and that all the bits are there.
[Jim:] Ugh.
[Alfie, from afar:] Come on then, doggies. [Jim:] Off you go.
[Zoe:] Look, Nala knows. She's like,
[Zoe:] 'No, I'm not falling for that one.' [Jim:] Yeah, my dog’s so stupid that she's like, 'Great, I'll go!'
[Jim:] Nala's like, 'uh-uh.'
[Jim:] Wait. I'm looking
[Jim:] Ow!!!
[Zoe:] Jim!
[Zoe:] Oh, my God, I felt a bit!
[Zoe:] Oh, no.
[Zoe:] It's just a piece of Quality Street wrapper.
[Zoe:] Right then. So what do we do now?
[Jim:] I don't know, you know.
[Zoe:] *in cute voice* Martha Martha Martha!
[Zoe:] You little pretty girl.
[Zoe:] Okay. [Jim:] There you go.
[Zoe:] Back to where we were.
*snap* [Jim:] Oh God!
[Zoe:] Woo-hoo!
[Jim:] Yeah- oh sorry, Nala. Forgot you were there.
[Zoe:] It's gettin' dark.
[Jim:] I'm gettin' old.
[Jim:] *drops piece* Uh!
[Jim:] That's *unintelligible* way, then.
[Jim:] *still unintelligible* *laughs*
[Zoe:] Jim! [Jim:] Wait.
[Jim:] Now we have, uh, a point where we are connecting the two buildings together.
[Jim:] And you're supposed to have...
[Jim:] bits with a little doodah that gets in the slot, [Zoe:] connectors,
[Jim:] um, and we had a spare one for a while, but we were like, 'ah, don't worry about it, it'll show up.'
[Jim:] Turns out it's shown up now, um, and it's supposed to be right- [Zoe:] It’s there.
[Jim:] at the bottom, one of the first things we did. Don't worry. One's fine.
[Zoe:] One's fine. It'll stay on.
[Zoe:] Look at that! [Jim:] Yeah, it’s basically over-engineered, I think.
[Zoe:] I'm so happy with it.
[Jim:] Ah, I see what these are.
[Zoe:] What? [Jim:] Watch and be amazed.
[Jim:] I mean, try and spot them. It's really hard to spot where they go.
[Jim:] But look. This is so cute.
[Jim:] Goes in the door!
[Jim:] It’s a key. [Zoe:] Oh, the keys are in the door!
[Jim:] Attention to detail, see?
[Zoe:] Ooh.
*Nala barks*
[Jim:] Oh.
*bark*
[Zoe:] Oh. Nala's woken from her slumber.
[Jim:] No. Turn that one upside down.
[Jim:] Of course I give you one job to do.
[Zoe:] It doesn't go in.
[Jim:] *unintelligible*
*Zoe laughs*
[Jim:] That's okay. All right.
[Zoe:] Do you take that back? [Jim:] Yeah, I do. Finish this.
[Zoe:] You know what? For our efforts, I feel like there's not much to show.
[Jim:] No. [Zoe:] No.
[Zoe, frustrated:] Ugh! *Jim laughs*
[Jim:] Like that. [Zoe:] I baked you a cookie.
[Jim:] Oh, that's really a cookie. Was it a spare?
[Zoe:] Oop, gone. *laughs*
[Zoe:] I really need a toilet.
[Jim:] Well, you can't go yet. We're so nearly done.
[Jim:] Oh my God!
[Zoe:] Have we done it?!
*Jim sighs* [Zoe:] YES JIM!
[Jim:] Right. So here we have the house, which actually is very impressive from the outside,
[Jim:] but when you turn it round, [Zoe:] it’s even more impressive.
[Jim:] You've got a working- well, 'working' fireplace. You've got the fireplace, you've got an elf seat,
[Jim:] you've got a door that actually works, although it does open inside, you've got a ladder,
[Jim:] you’ve got a little… [Zoe:] Fairy lights. [Jim:] workshop.
[Jim:] Fairy lights on the outside. I mean,
[Jim:] what more can you ask for? [Zoe:] It’s just everything.
[Jim:] Here we have a conveyor belt that does the... toys.
[Jim:] Apparently it's outside, because Santa's- as long as he's warm.
[Jim:] That's what matters. The elves can go to hell.
[Jim:] Spare reindeer. Probably Rudolph, 'cause he didn't make the cut. He's too small.
[Jim:] Runt of the litter. [Zoe:] Maybe he’s retired.
[Jim:] Christmas tree- yeah, maybe he's retired.
[Jim:] Christmas tree, and then a sign saying, 'North Pole.' [Zoe:] North Pole!
[Jim:] Yay! [Zoe:] Look at it!
[Jim:] So- [Zoe:] I think it’s amazing!
[Jim:] So happy we finished.
[Zoe:] Oh my God. *Jim laughs*
[Zoe:] I'm sorry I made you do this, Jim.
[Jim:] It was good fun, but it took forever.
[Jim:] Didn’t it? [Zoe:] Yeah, it really did take a very long time.
[Jim:] Merry Christmas. [Zoe:] Merry Christmas!
[Jim:] Don't get anyone Lego. Ever.
[Jim:] I actually love Lego, but...
[Jim:] this was particularly fiddly, this one.
[Zoe:] Yeah, maybe go for age five.
[Zoe:] Not age twelve. *laughs*
[Zoe:] We also filmed a video over on Jim's channel. What did we do, Jim?
[Jim:] We, um- oh my God, it's more constructing things. *Zoe laughs*
[Jim:] We made gingerbread houses and gingerbread trains and stuff. It was brilliant
*Jim laughs* [Zoe:] Come and watch.
[Zoe:] It’s a day of creativity. [Jim:] Yay!
[Zoe:] Give the video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it.
[Zoe:] Hope you're having a fabulous December, and I'll see you again tomorrow!
[Jim:] CHRISTMAS! [Zoe:] Christmas!
[Zoe:] Bye! [Jim:] Bye.
[Jim:] Crush it.