When I was pregnant with you, I didn’t know.
I didn’t know I was pregnant.
Then I started to get sick and cough a lot, so I went to see the doctor.
He congratulated me that I was having a baby.
I was very scared.
I gave birth to Ly first, then they told me there was another baby!
My name is Hu’o’ng.
I work in PAK’n’SAVE in the seafood department.
My family’s from Vietnam
and me and my sister we’re the eldest, we’re twins.
We’ve got two younger brothers.
My parents at one point travelled to Hong Kong,
and that’s where me and sis were born in a refugee camp.
We stayed for just over a year there before we came to here.
I lived in Hong Kong refugee not very good.
Too many people, two thousand people.
Only one small bed for four people and my babies were very small.
I had clothes for them but I don’t have the nappies.
We had to make the nappy from material.
- Did you want Dad to support you more in those times?
- Yes definitely. Sometimes when I was sleepy or tired
I wanted Dad to help, but Vietnamese men are not usually involved in night time nurturing.
I moved in with my mum two years ago.
Just a little bit before that, I had split up with my partner at the time.
Moving in with my mother has definitely helped our relationship.
We’ve become a lot closer and my Vietnamese has gotten a lot better as well.
When I moved back home after Nikko and I separated
and living with you again Mum, I realised that we weren’t very close.
Whenever I was around you, I would feel really stressed out.
After we reunited, it’s gotten better over time
and I think my relationship with you is better as we share things more easily now.
- I feel the same.
When you talk to me we can understand each other, we can empathise better now.
Now that you’ve moved back in with me, we can share a lot and I feel like we are just like two girlfriends
and it’s very fun.
We feel like, look like friends.
Not mum and daughter, yeah.
Sometimes we do like that, we’re very happy, laugh together, and fun. Very fun.
She loves to cook food for people and especially if they eat it. All of it.
She had to learn to cook by herself
because usually you would learn from your mother.
Everything would be passed down in a natural way
rather than just her learning by herself and trying to find out how to cook and what to do.
I didn’t see that that was a way to connect with her.
So I think now I’m like, oh, this is the way I can learn about my culture,
how to cook Vietnamese food, gain a skill plus gain that connection with her.
I feel like she’s taught me that you can take care of people by feeding them
and that's something that you do because your cooking
is your hospitality to them or your kindness to them.
When I left Vietnam, I didn’t know if I would be able to go back.
When I left I only knew I was going to Hong Kong. I didn't know I was going to New Zealand.
The plane hadn't even landed yet, we were still descending, but I could see the airport,
the familiar home town scenery, and I had already started crying.
Did you go back with Dad?
Yeah. I was so happy. Happiness was flowing through my tears.
I was so excited.
Really exciting because I didn’t know
I thought I’ll never see my mum and dad again.
I think that home is half in Vietnam and half here.
Because at home in Vietnam I have my mother and siblings. Here, I have my children.
When I think about you girls, I feel at home.
But I miss my home in Vietnam as well and that makes me sad.
When I feel lonely here, I miss Vietnam deeply, and I want to go back.
But when I miss you girls, I get to see you, and I feel happy.