- Hey Psych2Goers.
Are you trying to take up new and healthier habits?
If you want to improve every day
and become a better and kinder person, that is great.
However, certain habits you may think look good
on the surface could actually be working against us.
So to help you with that,
here are six common habits that are actually toxic.
Number one, mistaking repression for being calm.
Do you keep strong emotions bottled up inside?
Perhaps you always tell the people around you
that you're all right,
and that they shouldn't worry about you,
even though you're not in the best shape.
While you may appear calm on the outside,
hiding your negative emotions can have a negative impact.
According to clinical psychologist, Victoria Tarratt,
suppressing your emotions is said to affect blood pressure,
memory, and self esteem.
It can also aggravate depression and anxiety
in the longterm.
So instead of repressing how you feel,
acknowledge your emotion in a safe environment.
Identifying your emotion can be beneficial
by itself already.
Number two, being too independent.
Are you always insisting that you do things on your own?
Dependency is a common trait shared amongst all people,
especially at the earliest stages of infancy.
And as time goes by, you outgrow many of the basic faculties
becoming more independent in the process,
but to thrive as adults, being too dependent
or too independent can stunt growth.
There's a sweet spot to balance it all out.
And it's called healthy dependence,
where you can nurture both autonomy and intimacy.
Number three, you need to be in control of everything.
Do you need rigid systems in place all the time?
People who compulsively control everything
usually do so to protect themselves and others
from making mistakes or getting hurt.
While having systems in place isn't a bad thing,
being too rigid can also be problematic.
According to NY based mental health counselor, Diane Webb,
a person with over-controlling tendencies
can get triggered by anxiety
if even just one thing isn't in place.
Instead, try to ground yourself and focus
on the things that you can control.
After all, you can't control things external to you,
but you can control how you react to them.
Number four, striving for perfectionism.
Are you always trying to get things right and perfect?
Perfectionism may seem like a good thing at first,
after all who wouldn't want to get things right
all the time, but in truth,
perfectionism isn't as glamorous as it seems.
Multiple studies have linked perfectionism behavior
to common mental illnesses, such as depression, anxiety,
and eating disorders.
This is especially true if you reflect
a maladaptive perfectionism type
where you beat yourself up for every mistake.
If you recognize some of these habits in yourself,
try practicing self-compassion when ever you make mistakes.
Five, skipping sleep, even for something important.
How many all-nighters have you pulled lately?
While you may feel like you're saving time,
by getting more hours on to prepare
for a test or an assignment,
you may actually be doing the opposite.
During sleep, our brain processes information from the day
to form memories.
Disrupting that can diminish memory formation
and learning retention.
This is because sleep deprivation can make it difficult
to consolidate a memory to be recalled for the future.
And six, pleasing others at your expense.
Is it hard for you to say no to others?
Perhaps you often find yourself stretched too thin
at the expense of others.
There's nothing wrong with practicing genuine kindness
and unconditional support to others.
But people pleasing goes beyond that.
According to therapist, Erika Myers,
the urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves
and potentially to our relationships
when we allow other people's wants
to have more importance than our needs.
This can result in other people taking advantage of you,
feeling unsatisfied with your relationships and burnout.
Rather than wanting to please people,
show kindness from a genuine heart
and not as a way to control their reactions.
Putting yourself in front of others isn't selfish.
It just shows that you have respect for yourself,
which can remind others to respect you too.
Are you planning to change your habits to be better?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you find this video helpful,
be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video
with those who might benefit from it.
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon
to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video.
The references and studies used in this video, as always,
are added in the description below.
Thanks so much for watching
and we will see you in the next one.