-I don't know when
we're gonna have award shows again,
and so I'm particularly happy that we got to see you host
the Globes last year. I am always delighted.
Now, did you enjoy going back and hosting the Globes again?
-I did. It just -- It seems like
a bygone era, all the things you worry about, you know?
When the -- I -- You know, the last couple of times
I've done it, they offered me to, and I said no at first,
and they persuaded me, and this was no different.
I said no, then they persuaded me through flattery and cash.
And the first thing I thought, "Christmas is ruined,"
so I wrote jokes.
But, yeah, I had a blast.
And, um, it was so funny, because I think
you hosted the Emmys, didn't you?
You were -- -Yeah.
-You were brilliant. I thought it was --
I thought you were absolutely brilliant.
But you probably put a lot of work in.
And I heard that most presenters, like,
they really work hard for weeks.
They have a team of writers, and they go in,
you know, a few weeks before now and again.
I can't do that 'cause I live in London.
So, I turn up the day before with, like, a piece of paper,
and I've got about 20 jokes, right?
And all you have to do -- I don't show it to anyone,
I don't have to, I don't rehearse or anything like that.
But I do have to show it to a lawyer
just to make sure I don't break the law and libel anyone
or, you know, break taste and decency.
And I never have. I've always read it to a lawyer,
you know, an hour before and they've gone,
"Yeah, that's fine. That's fine."
This time, I went to a room, and there was about 15.
Now, I don't know if that was
they're getting more nervous about me
or the times have changed, you know?
-Sure. -But, obviously,
networks are very nervous.
And this is, like, prime time, you know?
It goes out 5:00 p.m. in L.A.
So, anyway -- So, I do the monologue.
It's a tough crowd, 15 executives and some lawyers.
Right? But I do it, and it's fine.
You know, they say that there was --
you know, there was an ISIS joke
about they'd sign up to a streaming service.
They'd do anything, these actors.
There was a thing about sweat shops, and they went,
"Yes, that's fine. Fair satire."
There was a joke about "The Two Popes" film
being a pedophile movie. They went, "Fine."
The big discussion was the riff on the movie "Cats."
-Sure. -So, Dame Judi Dench said it was
the role she was born to play 'cause she likes nothing more
than plumping herself down on the carpet,
lifting her leg, and licking her own minge.
Now, they worried about "minge," right?
I said, "It's a British term. It's a cute term.
It's not offensive at all. It's not a swear word."
They went, "Oh, okay."
And then, one of them looked it up and said,
"It says vulgar term for vagina."
And I went, "Well, all slang is gonna be --
is a vulgar term, isn't it?" I said, "what can I do?"
And the lawyer went, "You can say vagina."
I went, "I'm not gonna say vagina.
That's worse! That's so clinical,
about Dame Judi Dench."
And he went, "I take it back." Right?
So, we went through words that I might be --
All I'm trying to do is them not bleep it,
'cause it sort of ruins it.
So, I persuaded them that "minge" was fine, okay?
Such a weird -- We went through, I said, "What about flange?"
And they went, "Oh, that's a part of a sink.
That'll confuse people." So, I'm desperate.
So, we settle on minge. Right?
And they said they wouldn't bleep it.
And they still did.
But I knew they would, so I pointed.
So... -A workaround.
You found a workaround. [ Both laugh ]
So, you know, when I host award shows,
you know, there's so much discussion about what's too far,
what's not too far.
I assume that you, even if you're working by yourself,
you have to know that people expect you
to have at least two or three two-part jokes.
Are those fun to look for?
-Yeah. I mean, I think you can do it --
I think you can do it, in general.
You can go to the elephant in the room
if something really awful has happened, and it's --
And I'm gonna go after their behavior,
like, I did the joke about Felicity Huffman,
you know, making the number plates.
Again, it's those things that,
you know, are in the room, and they're fine.
I try and go for their, as I say, their behavior, in general.
And I go after Hollywood pretension, you know?
And this year, I thought, I went after the fact that a hypocrisy,
I guess, that people were tired of being lectured by --
Know what I mean? People are tired of being told
to recycle by someone who came to that gig in a limo
and got a private jet to the limo.
So, I sort of did that angle.
But I've got nothing against anyone there.
And you -- you sort of build. You sort of build to it.
And I think if you're going after the people in the room
in front of them, I think that's enough.
I think that's exciting enough for people.
You don't have to go crazy
and really undermine the moral fabric of America.
You're teasing rich people who are winning awards, you know?
It's not a room full of wounded soldiers.
These are -- They're fine. They're fine.
[ Laughs ]
-Well, it's always fun watching you do it.
And we will be right back with more Ricky Gervais.