*WHAPOOSH* TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADIES
My name is Jacksepticeye
And welcome to N.S.F.W
Well it - it looks like N S F and W?
*mumbles* I don't know what that means.
But this - it's not Not Safe for Working
*phone chimes*
or Not Safe for....
Workaholics???
It's the Not Suitable for Working Similator.
So
What I think is going on in this game
is that I'm at work
DOOT DEE DOOT DEE DOO
Files. Excel Spread Sheets. And all that stuff.
And then I'm trying to watch some PRAWN.
I'm trying to get my PRAWN on while I'm...working at my job.
Trying to browse Reddit.
I'm trying not to get caught
by everything.
So I gotta watch out for my coworkers
And I gotta log in as...uhhh.
Doctor Sexy
There we go.
We're in!
I have no idea how to play.
What do I do?
Oh. Got Ebony & Ivory.
This has a penis plus heart.
This has...
...
a black penis.
heart plus
I don't know what that means.
Ummm...okay.
Let's - let's read my e-mails first.
Welcome to N.S.FW.
Dear Mr. LIEM,
Welcome to "Ndrey Sudim, Flare, and Wida"
Creative Agency!!!
For your first day with us.
Please finish all of your training videos.
HR Department
......
Okay?
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Thank you Rob Schneider.
Stefan,
Start to be healthy, and trust me
you can manage the stress in your life.
your only friend Marcel
Awe, *chuckles*
Marcel's my only friend.
That's very cocky for h - for him to say
that he's my only friend.
Maybe I'm just telling him he's my only friend.
Maybe I have lots of friends.
Maybe I'm a friend magnet.
How to use Cherry
Stefan,
Cherry is just like any other computer.
Click to get that
CLICK to get that
and click to get this.
IT Department
Thanks.
*claps*
Give it up for the IT Department everybody.
Okay. Can I play a video?
Right click to work or have fun.
Oh...HI!
Why right click?
*sultry music*
Oh yeah!
OH YEAH
WHOOPS! OHhh
I hear footteps.
la deet da deet da
Working on my product
da dee da d - OH
yeahhhhh
Oh fuck ye-
*squeaking* What's that?
What's that sound?
Yous squeaky asshole
You're getting in the way of my boners.
*sultry music* OHH
For fuck sake!
Can't a man hold an erection for two seconds
without somebody else getting in the way?
*sultry music*
*sexy jack* ohhhhh yeahhhh
k
My fun meter is going down!
MY FUN SCALE
MY FUNSCLE
*sexy time*
Here we go.
K somebody's coming back.
Is she going back again?
How many times are you going to walk across the screen lady?
*sweet seduction*
jack?
Ohhh yeahhh
Okay. Fine.
My fun scale is not going up.
*sweet loveeee*
Can I change anything else?
*Squeaking*
What else do I do?
Is this just it?
OH
I did it!
I did a thing!
Fun meter 66%.
*illuminati*
3% off.
3% I would've been great.
Fun time three hours?
Good lord
I'm gonna be fucking red raw by the end of the day.
Work time five hours.
Huh! Pretty good.
Freeloading money
SGD
Social Golly Dollars
I don't know what that means.
Okay!
We're back!
Ahh another day...
Click the heart.
*beating the mouse*
I don't know what clicking that did.
Clicking the heart does nothing apparently.
umm
Okay
Lets log in.
Stefan Liem. I'm back.
Umm...OH I have enough money now to buy this!
Do I?...YES
Niiiice
Use
Now - g - I was looking at Ebony & Ivory before.
Ah okay. So now I have to look at the Good Pizza.
Oh hell yeah
Shades of Love
It's got a butt on here in that one.
*phone chimes*
Okay PM. PornMub.
Okay. I don't know.
Um, is this supposed to be like Amazon?
This is Amazon's kind of... arrow logo.
Whatever. I'm going onto PornMub.
There we go.
*shake that laffy taffy*
Oh yeahhh .
*squeaks*
Goddamnit. Squeaky janitor man.
Postman.
Get out of here!
OH *MEY HOY ME NOY*
Fuck yeahhhh
Get that love on.
Hey! How's it going?
Good to see ya.
I'm not doing a-NYTHING
Except watching that good
Why isn't my...meter going up?
What?
My fun scale is going down.
Not my funscle!
*wubba lubba*
Why?
Why is my fun scale going down?
It's not going up.
I'm having so much fun.
'Cause I've not gotten to the good parts yet.
*huffle my puff*
Just giver her the pizza already!
This is just...
This is just a romcom.
OH! Nevermind.
That was not romcom.
What?
Well Stefan.
Becare....dyl
the thing between the speaker and the clock
Don't let it run out.
Even my granny know that.
Love us
The programmer
*confused jack*
I don't know what happened.
I've been - I was trying to have as much fun
as I possibly could.
Why - good pizza is not good.
Oh. Maybe because it's this?
Okay! I'm gonna go back to Ebony & Ivory.
*want sum fuk?*
Yeahhhh
Getting it onnnnn
That's what it's all abouttttt.
*squeaking*
Okay. Fine.
Thank you I'm completely flaccid now - OHHHHH
Back in it.
What's up?
What is he - he looks like he's milking a cow.
Is that what you're doing?
Okay my fun scale is pretty damn high this time.
Hi Jeffrey!
Did you fix those spreadsheets?
*more like spread legs ;)*
Nevrminddd
*Squeaking*
Okay
Goddammit man! How much mail do you have?
Bye!
*Lemme smash*
Get that fun scale right to the top.
Right to the tippy top.
EEEYESS
WHATS UP?
Okay. No one is coming to bother me this time.
That was amazing.
That was okay!
Hellooo. How's it going?
Hahaha OHHHHH
Back into the world of delight.
Ebony
And Ivory
Live together in perfect
Harmo - NYYYY
Ohhhhhh
Don't worry I'm working hard.
I - I'm working something very hard
That was good.
Fun Meter 100%!
Ohoho I had all the fun.
I had eight hours of fun time
and five hours of work time
So I worked thirteen hours?
Yesterday I worked like eight.
Jesus. Okay.
Oh apparently I have a free day on the 20th. 20th of June.
That's good. I had - I had plans to go get my hair done that day.
Okay. Lets try a different video.
I can only - Oh no no no no no
NO
What happened?
Oooookay?
I wanted to buy a new video.
Yeah. This one's got pluses and pluses and pluses.
Buy that one. Ohhh Shades of Love.
Oh God. Avoid it...
Stef, Let's do it, you can avoid it.
Do not repeat your old habit.Your trusty friend Emily.
Marcel I said I only have one friend.
Marcel said he was my only friend.
Are you not my real friend?
You can do it!!! How to use Cherry. Always avoid.. Oh wait they're coming in this way.
*phone chimes*
Dear Stefan,
I need you to color the cow I sketched. It is for the strong pill ads. Laoshi.
What kind of...Where do I work?
Check the budget.
Dear Mr. Liem,
I was asked to team up with you for this project. Can you check the budget? Sora
Man. I'm glad Sora got work after Kingdom Hearts.
Okay. Here we go.
OHH. Damn!
There's no music on this one.
Oh. There's no music on this one. I'm listening to it silently.
I'm a fucking genius this time.
That or the game broke. This makes it so much easier.
Okay we're gonna have to add in our own music.
Robin. Add in some sexy tunes.
Ohh- you didn't add in anything did you?
Well this is embarrassing. Now I'm just jerking it while I'm working it.
Okay..okay there's the music!
Oh baby.
And there's the clippity cloppity footsteps. Of Senior Bouncy Titties.
Bye. I'm - I'm too busy watching cat woman and.. other cat woman.
h - hi. Hi Joseph. How's it going? How's it going?
BYE
Oho! Fun time for me.
I like how my, the cherry icon, its supossed to be apple
Looks like a pair of balls.
That's pretty good.
Oh yeah. Bye.
I'm working on the spreadsheets. Okay. The budgets fine.
I can't work until I get my jollies okay!
I focus, when I'm in my zone.
There we go. Awe 88%. So you're supossed to finish the day at 100%.
It's not so much about where you have it consistently, but where you get it at the end.
I get it I think.
End of alpha notes...
Well hello dear player...
This is the end of N.S.F.W alpha. The game will have more stories and mode.
It will also have more videos "wink"
That was it?
THAT WAS IT??
Dude I barely even worked up a sweat.
That - this was easy mode for me.
Normally it's hours on end just grinding away at...
spreadsheets...and cow pictures, and photoshop, and stuff.
There was - this was no problem. Fucking aced it.
???
*phone chime*
Where's the music coming out of?
And why is it-?
Okay
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING
Is this all the music I forgot when I was playing the videos?
*Jackaboi dance party*
Okay. Well that was the Not Suitable for Work Simulator.
I hope you all learned something here today. How to manage work and jerk at the same time.
See, this is why you have two monitors so you can do all your work but still eye over here and be like
ooh, the ebay price of that Spider-Man statue. Ohh the auction's just about to end.
Oh, oh
OHHH
I want it.
And then your workers are like, wow what a kinky freak. And you're like
No..Spider-Man statue.
Seriously not - no foolies.
But thank you guys so much for watching this episode!
If you liked it, PUNCH the like button in the face
LIKE A BOSS
And
High fives all round
WHAPOOSH! WHAPOOSH!
But thank you guys! And I will see all you dudes...
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO
Look. I"m fifteen listening to Linkin Park again.