Hey there it's clay with modern love.life. And in this video,
what we're going to be talking about is when your ex reaches out, but they won't commit.
That is to say, they're connecting with you. They're talking to you.
They're maybe even reaching out and initiating things with you, but they're still
Not committing to you. This can be really frustrating for a lot of people, because
I'll be honest with you. Oftentimes you have to come a long way
To get to this point, just getting Through a lot of that reactance,
getting through a lot of the emotional challenges that come with this whole process,
um, just to even get to this point, however, when you are here, it can feel like you're, you know,
so close, but your ex just isn't committing. Why, why, why is this happening? What's holding
them back. What can we do about this? So what we can usually tell in situations like this
is that they value the connection that they have with you. They value whatever sort of relationship
that they do have with you. However, there isn't a strong enough of a connection or enough
leverage to actually get them to commit. Now, what do I mean by this? Because, um,
Building connection is obviously important. We've, we've talked about this in many, many videos on
this channel. We've have a whole video series on advanced relational skills. You can check it out
right up there, but the emotional connection is vitally important. And there is obviously
some kind of emotional connection here. Um, either that you had to build up by working to get there,
like I talked about earlier, or maybe you just had this breakup somewhat recently, and there
still is some sort of emotional connection that hasn't been damaged by things like, uh, damage
control mode, uh, things like that. Um, but there is some emotional connection there, but it may not
be to the point where your ex is really ready to commit, really ready to make that decision. And,
you know, we do have the five stages of getting back together. Again, we'll go ahead
and put that right up there as well, too. But oftentimes if your ex is connecting with
you, um, interacting with you, reaching out to you, things like that, but they're not committing,
it could be that they're either at the writing the dragon stage or potentially also at the
crisis point stage. And if they're out riding the dragon, what they need more of is that emotional
connection. So that's why you want to do a lot of the things we've talked about before, like getting
into rapport, building that emotional connection, bonding with them, all that good stuff. Um, and
that is definitely something that you may need to do with those advanced relational skills,
all that sort of stuff. However, when the time is right, you may actually need to leverage
that connection before you go ahead and get into that, please make sure that you hit the thumbs up
button for this video. If you're liking it for the YouTube algorithm and leave a comment down
below letting me know what sorts of videos you'd like to see me make in the future, feel free to
subscribe to the channel, all that good stuff. It does help us out with YouTube a lot. So please
take the time to do that. If you want to support this channel in a totally freeway, that just
takes just a moment of your time. Um, But yeah, anyway, leverage, there is probably
Going to become, uh, becoming a point where you may need to leverage the connection that you have
with your ex. And we've seen this a lot with a lot of people is they have a good connection with
their ex, but their ex has really no incentive to take things to that next level. That's not to say
that we need to, um, play mind games or play hard to get or follow some sort of arbitrary set of,
you know, rules or anything like that in order to get the outcome that you want. But, um, we have to
be real and we have to honor ourselves as well to know most of the people that I work with want to
be in a committed relationship, a committed, monogamous relationship. And I'm just
Going to assume for the sake of this, uh, video here, that that is you as
Well too. And so what we want to do Is we want to say, okay, great. If
you're not committed to me, I get that. I understand that that's absolutely okay if
that's where you're at, But where I'm at
Is I actually do want to have a committed, monogamous relationship. And if, if you're not in
a place where it makes sense for you to commit, then maybe it makes sense for me to, you know,
start seeing other people. And because you have built up that emotional connection to that higher
level, and now you're leveraging that connection. Your ex is probably going to be concerned
that they're going to lose that connection, because again, you've built up the connection.
So they obviously do value it. And so leveraging that connection at that point at the crisis point
can actually make a lot of sense. Um, now again, you don't want to do this earlier on, um, in,
in, in those five stages. So if you don't have that strong of emotional connection, you don't
want to leverage this because they're probably just gonna be like, okay, cool, goodbye,
Sorry, start dating someone else. Um, and they may even still
Do that at the crisis point stage, However, um, because you
Do have that higher level of emotional connection, even if they do say, yeah, go on and date someone
else out of stubbornness or whatever, they may need to just live with the consequences of that,
of not having access to that connection with you, the way that maybe they had in the past. And that
can also allow them to change their mind. This is something that's really important for you to
do. If your ex doesn't want to commit, they do reach out to you. We want to make sure that you
are building up that emotional connection if you need to. And then when, and if it makes sense,
leverage that connection through strategies like we've talked about and also strategies
that we talk about inside of our, um, the course called the X solution program. We've
been helping people with the X solution program for over 10 years now, believe it or not.
Um, and it w we've had thousands of people go through it, lots of great testimonials
and success stories and all of that. Um, and if you're interested in potentially being
our next one, please feel free to check it out over@modernlove.life slash E S P that's modern
love.life, not.com, but.life/e S P. Um, and you can go ahead and check it out and see if it's
a good fit for you. Anyway, links for that. And other things are down in the description
box below. Once again, if you liked this video, please make sure you hit the thumbs up button,
leave a comment down below, letting me know what you want to see next for me,
and, uh, subscribe to the channel, all that good stuff. Anyway, take care. And I'll talk to you.