>> Stephen: BIDEN TRIED TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT
OBAMA'S DEPORTATION POLICY, BUT CORY BOOKER WASN'T HAVING ANY OF
IT.
>> MR. VICE PRESIDENT, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.
YOU INVOKE PRESIDENT OBAMA MORE THAN ANYBODY IN THIS CAMPAIGN.
YOU CAN'T DO IT WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT AND THEN DODGE IT
WHEN IT'S NOT.
>> Stephen: "OH, REALLY?
OBAMA SAID I COULD!"
MISTER!
COME AFTER YOU!
WHIPPERSNAPPER!
WHEN THE TOPIC TURNED TO CRIMINAL JUSTICE REFORM, COREY
BOOKER SPRANG THIS ON JOE BIDEN.
>> MR. VICE PRESIDENT, THERE'S A SAYING IN MY COMMUNITY: "YOU'RE
DIPPING INTO THE KOOL-AID AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE FLAVOR."
>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY, THAT'S A NICE REHEARSED LINE.
BUT DOES ANYONE EVER KNOW THE FLAVOR OF KOOL-AID?
IT ALL TASTES LIKE RED!
BIDEN SHOT BACK AGAINST HIS CRITICS ON THAT STAGE.
>> YOU KNOW, I FIND IT FASCINATING.
EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE I AM ON THESE
ISSUES.
BARACK OBAMA KNEW EXACTLY WHO I WAS.
>> Stephen: ( AS BIDEN )
"AN INSURANCE POLICY FOR VOTERS WHO GET NERVOUS WHEN THEY HEAR
RAP MUSIC."D
AND AFTER YET-- AFTER YET-- >> Jon: WHOA.S
A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS.
JUST A LITTLE BIT NIFERS.
SLIGHTLY NERVOUS.-- >> Stephen: AFTER YET ANOTHER
CLASH OF THE TIGHTINS WITH B HARRIS, BIDEN TOLD PEOPLE TO
LOOK UP HIS ARGUMENT ONLINE.
>> IF YOU DOUBT ME, GOOGLE "1,000 PRISONERS FREED KAMALA
HARRIS."
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: ( AS BIDEN ) "THEN, GOOGLE 'JOE BIDEN AND
BARACK OBAMA' AND JUST KEEP SCROLLING."
GOOGLE "IMAGES."
THEN, SENATOR GILLIBRAND TOOK A BOLD SWIPE AT ANSWERING HOW
SHE WOULD BEAT TRUMP.
>> I CAN TALK TO THOSE WHITE WOMEN IN THE SUBURBS THAT VOTED
FOR TRUMP AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHAT WHITE PRIVILEGE ACTUALLY
IS.
>> Stephen: ( AS GILLIBRAND ) "THEY WILL ACCEPT ME INTO THEIR
MIDST.
FOR I COME WITH OFFERINGS OF CHARDONNAY AND SKINNY POP."
"WE SPEAK THE SAME-- MY BOUNTY IS AS BOUNDLESS AS THE SEA."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CAME UP-- SERIOUS SUBJECT-- ANDREW YANG HAD A BLUNT
ASSESSMENT.
>> THE LAST FOUR YEARS HAVE BEEN THE FOUR WARMEST YEARS IN
HISTORY.
WE ARE TOO LATE.
WE ARE TEN YEARS TOO LATE.
>> Stephen: ADDING, "ABANDON ALL HOPE.
YANG 2020!
THOUGH, OF COURSE, WE WON'T LIVE THAT LONG."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SENATOR GILLIBRAND WAS READY WHEN ASKED ABOUT HER PRIORITIES.
>> THE FIRST THING THAT I'M
GOING TO DO WHEN I'M PRESIDENT IS I'M GOING TO CLOROX THE OVAL
OFFICE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WOW.
THAT'S HARSH.
EXACTLY RIGHT.
THAT PRESIDENTIAL SLAM BROUGHT TO YOU BY CLOROX.
"CLOROX: THE COMMANDER-IN-BLEACH."
( LAUGHTER )
ASKED TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE OF LEAD IN THE DRINKING WATER INR-
NEW YORK CITY.
> >> WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM, AND
IT'S DECADES OLD IN NEW YORK.
>> Stephen: OH, LEAD POISONING A IS A PROBLEM HERE.
IT'S SO BAD THAT SOME PEOPLE COMPLETELY LOSE TOUCH WITH
REALITY AND THINK THEY CAN BE ELECTED PRESIDENT.
(
THEN, THEN-- IT'S TRUE.
IT'S SAD.D SAD.
>> Jon: I KNOW, MAN.
THEN, DE BLASIO CHALLENGED BIDEN ON WHETHER HE WOULD ALLOW THE
LABOR MOVEMENT TO BE PART OF HIS TRADE DEALS, AND BIDEN ANSWERED.
>> YOUR RESPONSE, SIR?.
>> YES.
>> THAT'S IT?, >> WOULD I INSIST THAT LABOR BE
ENGAGED?
THE ANSWER IS YES.
>> I CONSIDER THAT A VICTORY.
>> Stephen: "IT'S AS CLOSE AS I'M EVER GOING TO GET!
NEW YORK, I'M COMING HOME!" (
THEN, IT WAS TIME FOR CLOSING STATEMENTS, STARTING WITH
KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND, WHO SAID SHE KNOWS HOW TO TAKE DOWN THE
PRESIDENT.
>> I ALSO KNOW HOW TO BEAT DONALD TRUMP.
>> Stephen: ( AS GILLIBRAND ) "IT INVOLVES A DEEP HOLE, AEM
CAMOUFLAGE TARP, AND A COLD CHEESEBURGER."
(
BUT IN THE END, THE CANDIDATES CAME TOGETHER AROUND A UNIFYING
MESSAGE: CLICK "LIKE" AND SUBSCRIBE!
>> PLEASE JOIN ME AT michaelbennett.com.
>> I HOPE YOU WILL CONSIDER GOING TO jayinslee.com.
>> kirstengillibrand.com.
>> juliancastro.com. " >> kamalaharris.org.
>> PLEASE GO TO corybooker.com.o >> ENTER YOUR ZIP CODE AT
yang2020.com.
>> Stephen: SO DISAPPOINTING, YOU KNOW?
IF YOU THINK WE IF YOU THINK WE DESERVE MORE
THAN SHAMELESS PLUGS FROM OUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES, GO TO
colbertlateshow.com AND JOIN MY MOVEMENT.
(
YOU CAN GIVE ME $5.
THAT'S ALL IT TAKES.
BUT BIDEN JUST COULDN'T STICKU THE LANDING DOT COM.
>> IF YOU AGREE WITH ME, GO TO JOE... 303... 30 AND HELP ME
IN THIS FIGHT.
>> Stephen: ( AS BIDEN ) "GO TO JOE 30330.
AND SEND AN E-VITE TO SCRANTON JOE@1942 AT aol.com.
THEN, RING UP PENNSYLVANIA 6500 AND ASK FOR LULU.
SHE'LL SHOW YOU A GRAND OLD TIME."
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
RAHM EMMANUEL IS HERE.