- Oh, it's spicy!
- Shut up!
- Wow. - Ooh!
- Oh, that hurt.
- Three, two, one! You like-
- Oh, God.
No more, guys! (both singing loudly)
(Darren roaring loudly)
- Episode three, take one, mark.
(clapperboard clicking readily)
- [Justina Valentine] Oh, we are a punk rock band.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] Oh (beeping)!
- What should we call ourself?
- You got the leather jacket on,
he got the white boy hat.
- Yeah. (laughing gently)
- Yeah, very punk rock.
You get the black on, you know what I mean, the weed.
- 'Cause I don't do drugs, guys.
- Let's write a rock song about it.
(Justina humming intensely)
(heavy rock guitar music)
- Yeah!
♪ Weed, weed, weed, weed, weed, weed- ♪
- No, no, no, no. - Oh.
(tape rewinding rapidly)
- Okay, everybody needs to take a deep breath.
(everyone inhaling simultaneously)
Exhale.
(everyone exhaling simultaneously)
Inhale the good. (soft relaxing music)
(everyone inhaling simultaneously)
Exhale the bad.
- Whew!
You're into mantra.
- I'm feelin' it, yeah.
- Yeah 'cause you got your stone on.
- Yeah, you know, I got the stone-
- You're spiritual today. - I'm feeling the vibrations.
- He's got the stone, he's in the throne.
- My chakras are aligned.
- Uh-huh.
- And I just took a big poo.
- Oh.
(toilet flushing loudly)
- I'm Darren "Big Baby" Brand.
- I'm Tim Chantarangsu.
- And I'm Justina Valentine.
- What's happenin'?
This is another phenomenal episode of "Basic to Bougie."
- Are you guys too good to do the slam part,
are you just gonna do the snap?
- I just do the snap.
We got om jewelry now, yeah.
- I keep hitting the Rolly every time.
- Yeah, you keep hitting it, yeah, yeah.
- Let's do it lightly.
- This is-
- "Basic To Bougie."
(everyone snapping fingers simultaneously)
- We are fancy.
- It was like a little... (meowing sassily)
(Darren laughing amusingly)
- What was it?
(Tim meowing sassily)
- "To Bougie."
What's the show about, Tim?
- This is a show where we try
three different kinds of two different foods,
and try to figure out what is the-
♪ Three different kinds of two different foods ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah- ♪
- Cheapest, middlest, and most expensive.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] And the most expensive!
- Yeah, dude!
♪ 'Cause some food is basic ♪
♪ And some food is bougie ♪
♪ Bougie ♪
♪ Can't beat them basic ♪
♪ Basic ♪
♪ Ah ♪
(Darren laughing amusingly)
(Justina screaming musically)
(deep rhythmic music)
- Three, two, one.
♪ I like food, food, food, food ♪
♪ Pastas, bread, cheese, and rice ♪
♪ I like food, food, food, food ♪
♪ Ice cream, soda, and everything nice ♪
♪ I like food, food, food, food ♪
♪ I hate my mom ♪
(Darren imitating drum banging)
♪ She serves me broccoli ♪
(Darren imitating drum banging)
(Darren imitates electric guitar wailing)
- Wow, we bodied-
- That was fire.
- What should we be called? - Give me a guitar.
(Darren yelling excitedly)
(everyone laughing amusingly)
Whatchu want your name to be, bro?
- Maybe Ozzy. (bell dinging loudly)
- Ozzy!
Drop the basic, bro!
- [Justina Valentine] (Justina laughing amusingly) Ozzy.
- Ozzy, you have to do it one time.
- Yeah, you have to a liner.
- Three, two, one, you like-
♪ Food- ♪
- I like chicken nuggets. (tape stopping abruptly)
- Oh see, I thought he was doing a verse.
- Oh, so Ozzy thinks he's funny.
Wow!
Back when he was a butler, he would do it.
- He would do it.
Oh, it's an orange, it's a pear, it's an apple-
- For real? - It's a mango.
- What's this?
- It's some type of fruit.
- Is that a lemon?
- Yes.
So, think about the type of food that we might be having.
- Sour food.
(bell dinging loudly)
- Ooh! - Sour food?
- Sour food. - Alright.
(comedic squeaking noises)
- I like sour food.
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
- You make this not a family show.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- Milk, milk, lemonade.
Around the corner, fudge is made.
- Ooh! (laughing amusingly)
- Let's do it.
(deep rhythmic music returns)
- Wow, I can smell that shot from here.
- Can you? - Bruh.
- Uh-huh.
- Can I be honest with you?
I don't like anything sour.
- Wow.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] You know how people like
sour candy and all that?
I don't like anything sour. - Oh, really?
I grew up really-
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] You like sour?
- Lovin' sour things.
- What is it that makes people like food
that makes you go...
(muffled distortion crackling)
- I like it.
- Is this chewed gum?
(dramatic tones swelling)
- Smell it.
- Has this gum been chewed?
- I think it's a fruit.
- I think you guys should tell me
if this gum has bee in someone else's mouth.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- There's a ball inside of it.
- Oh, it's like a pickled somethin'.
- (sniffing warily) Ooh.
- I guess we're startin' with this?
- Sure.
(deep rhythmic music returns)
- Ooh.
- Mmm, mmm, mmm. - Oh, oh!
- (spitting dramatically) Oh my God!
- Mmm, what is that?
- What is that? (Justina banging table)
- [Tim Chantarangsu] It's like a sour plum or something.
- [Justina Valentine] I almost wanna say
like a date or a prune.
(Darren spitting disappointingly)
- It's about as sour as it possibly could be.
(Justina clearing throat loudly)
- Mm-hmm.
- It's a seed in there, so it's something.
- Yeah.
- It's some type of fruit.
- Let's go with the candy. - Okay.
- I'm hopin' this is candy.
(deep rhythmic music returns)
(tooth cracking loudly)
- Ooh! - Wow.
- That hurt.
- [Tim Chantarangsu] That's what you get
for playin' with your food. - That's what I get
for playin' with my food.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] Yeah.
- Ooh.
(horror tones swelling)
- Ooh, Lord. - Oh, God.
I cannot believe I threw this in my mouth.
- Y'all know how it lock up back here?
Oowee, that thing done locked up back here, Ozzy.
Mmm!
- Mmm. - Oh, Lord!
(Justina swearing enduringly)
Oh, whew!
Whoa, (beeping)!
- I gave you blue balls.
(Darren laughing amusingly)
- Why are you close to touching it?
- You're not putting it back in your mouth.
(dramatic tone echoing)
♪ I like food, food, food, food ♪
♪ Keep your hands away from my sour balls ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ I'm a child and I'ma go and touch it all ♪
(tape stopping abruptly)
(painful yelling noises)
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ I'm really sad right now ♪
(everyone laughing amusingly)
(deep rhythmic music returns)
- Is this the shot that's like a health shot?
- [Tim Chantarangsu] You know what this is?
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] Oh no, I know what it is-
- Apple cider vinegar. - It's the cider!
- Oh, is it?
- Yes, for the stomach.
- Alright, ready?
Are we doin' it? - Are we shootin' it?
- No, I'm not shootin' it, I'm sippin' it.
- You're not gonna shoot, you're gonna sip?
You can't sip it.
- Why? (glass clinking gently)
- Okay, not shoot it,
but we have to take at least half of it.
- Okay.
(deep rhythmic music continues)
- Yo!
You took the whole thing?
- Yeah.
- It actually does feel like it's cleansing.
You want some, Ozzy? (Darren sighing slowly)
(deep rhythmic music continues)
- There you go.
(Tim shuddering lightly)
- [Justina Valentine] Animal!
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] He's dangerous.
♪ He likes food, food, food, food ♪
- Oh God, no more, guys!
- Tim, we can't do it for the people?
- It's a good callback. (gentle sad music)
- But, we did it so much already, guys.
- Wow. - Ow.
- He don't like our callback 'cause he think he all that.
- Mmm.
- Now, when he does a pun, I bet it's gonna fall flat.
- Mmm!
- I'll grab him by his mother (beeping) ball sack.
- And if he gonna come in here with that attitude,
he should probably fall back.
- Ooh! (breaks squealing loudly)
(Justina laughing amusingly)
- Alright, let's rate
'cause he's over it, he's really over it.
- No, he's like, "We're done with the bit." Okay.
- Let's rate, let's rate, let's rate.
- Alright, let's rate. - Let's rate, let's rate.
(deep rhythmic music returns)
♪ 'Cause we like- ♪
- I'm just kidding.
Alright, so... (Tim laughing amusingly)
- Tim was about to go crazy. (laughing amusingly)
(Tim sighing desperately)
- Is this cheap?
- It's candy.
Candy's the cheapest item of all foods.
- Okay.
So, what do you think about the shot and the mystery plum.
- We don't even know what that is.
- I like this bein' last.
Oh, I don't know.
- I feel like the shot could swap, but I dunno.
- Be cheaper than the candy? - Swap it.
- Do it, do it, do it, do it. - Yeah, swap it, swap it.
- No, I was thinkin' like... (breaks squealing loudly)
Am I gettin' crazy?
- Mmm, I dunno about that.
- Okay, see ya.
Okay.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- Cheapest, candy.
- Blue ball candy.
- Blue...
Just candy. (Justina laughing amusingly)
Middlest-
- Apple cider vinegar. - Apple cider shot.
- [Tim Chantarangsu] The pickled candy plum.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] The most expensive.
- Ozzy? - Alright, Ozzy?
- Let Tim read it 'cause he's in a rush.
♪ 'Cause he likes food, food, food, food ♪
- I love you guys.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
Wow, well!
(Tim clearing throat readily)
Cheapest-
- You don't read well?
- I'm tryna give some suspense on it.
- [Justina Valentine] Oh.
♪ Dun-dun-Dun ♪
- Because we killed it!
(everyone cheering happily) (horn blaring loudly)
Blue raspberry sour candy, 25 cents a piece.
"Mega sour.
If you can make it to the center,
these raspberry-flavored candies have a fizzy inside."
- Cash App money, right now, Tim,
if you get to the middle of the ball.
- Here, Justina, just bite through it for me.
- It already cost me 25K for my front tooth.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- Number two, shot of apple cider vinegar, $1 a shot.
- Whoo!
- "Vinegar made from fermented apple juice.
A great remedy to remove toxins from your system."
Number three, most expensive, umeboshi.
- Umeboshi!
(Tim laughing amusingly)
Say it like that.
- Umeboshi!
$3 a plum.
"Pickled plums made from a young sour Japanese fruit
called ume.
A potent ingredient used in Japanese cuisine."
- I like that.
- Well, how's about that?
- How's about that?
♪ We killed that basic round, got it right ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ And we're gonna sing this song even if's not right. ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
(Darren and Justine laughing amusingly)
(music slowing awkwardly)
- What happened?
- We don't trust you.
(Tim laughing amusingly)
Alright, bring on the bougie.
- Whoo!
(deep rhythmic returns)
- So, we killed that.
- We killed it. - Wow.
- Bougie round.
What could it be?
- Oh, I have a guess.
- What?
- They presented a lemon in the beginning.
I bet it's gonna be some limoncello.
- We're not gonna do a bougie lemon and basic lemon.
- Oh, that's true.
Well, okay.
- Blindfolds on.
Auto!
- [Justina Valentine] Ozzy.
- [Darren "Big Baby" Brand] Ozzy, damn.
- It feels like a can of soda?
Somethin' mushy inside.
- Ooh, what is that?
- Is it a little...
- Is that grapes, what is that?
- This is some type of cake, pie.
- I'ma take a whiff, excuse me.
Mmm.
Is this like a parfait?
(bell dinging loudly)
Yes.
- Ooh, okay.
- I like parfaits.
- Yeah, ShMcDonalds put me on.
- Yeah, yeah. - Ooh.
This is "Basic to Bougie," so there's no tellin'.
- Salisbury steak parfait with some- (laughing amusingly)
- Wow.
- Gravy?
- Potatoes and gravy.
- Risotto.
- Alright, let's get it.
(graceful string music)
(utensils clinking lightly)
- Tim. - I told you.
- You called it.
- It's some savory flavors goin' on.
- Because okay, what makes it a parfait?
It's havin' fruit, right?
Fruit and yogurt?
- [Tim Chantarangsu] I don't know anymore.
- Like, none of this is an item at any store.
- I guess a parfait is just stackin' (beeping) in a jar.
- Wait a minute. (breaks squealing loudly)
Wait a minute.
(gentle pensive music)
- [Justina Valentine] What's that?
- Parfaits are bougie?
- Whenever you got a silent letter, it becomes bougie.
- That's a fact.
- Like, "Parfait."
- Give me somethin' else.
- Buffet.
- Give me somethin' else. - Ooh.
- Um...
- Target.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- Target, there it is.
- Alright, um...
- You wanna do this one first? Alright.
- Yeah man, I just wanna get this over with.
(graceful string music returns)
- I don't know what's in here.
- It's some kinda barbecue situation.
- It's meat.
Pulled pork or pulled chicken.
- This (beeping) okay.
- [Tim Chantarangsu] Oh,
it's like a pulled pork sandwich parfait.
(Tim laughing amusingly)
- [Justina Valentine] Yeah.
- That (beeping) kinda crazy.
- Do you know what kinda drugs you gotta be on to be like,
"I got it.
Take the mashed potatoes, put the gravy on it,
put the barbecue on top,
throw a little coleslaw on top of that, and a pickle,
in a jar."
- "Lose the bread, substitute it with a jar!"
(Darren laughing amusingly)
- It's healthy.
- There's never a point
where there's nothing wrong with this bein' on the plate.
- Yeah, what is the purpose?
- What is the purpose?
- I mean, but don't forget the mason jar
makes it a little high class.
- Let's go to the Italian one.
(graceful string music returns)
- This is gonna be good 'cause it's fresh mozzarella.
You can't go wrong with that.
- [Tim Chantarangsu] Oh, it got the cheese thing on top too,
a cheese wheel.
(graceful string music continues)
- Nope, nope, I don't like it.
- I mean, it's cheese and tomatoes in a jar.
- Yeah.
- This is stupid.
This is dumb. - I like this one.
(bell dinging loudly)
- Look, it doesn't taste bad because it is what it is.
But, it is dumb.
- What is wrong with putting things on a plate?
(everyone laughing amusingly)
Oh my God.
- [Tim Chantarangsu] Alright.
- Alright, let's have they dessert last.
- Y'all gonna keep tryin' me
till I walk off the show one day.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
(graceful string music returns)
- Ooh, it's spicy! (breaks squealing loudly)
- Shut up!
- No, I'm just playin'. (laughing amusingly)
(Darren laughing amusingly)
- No, this is actually bangin'.
- Yo, I was about to be so mad!
- [Justina Valentine] This is actually pretty good.
- And as you can see, this support the LGBTQ community.
- Period.
- Yeah, it's true. - Absolutely.
All love.
♪ 'Cause we love food, food, food, food ♪
♪ Ain't none of this (beeping) parfait ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ I have a weird bump at the base of my (beeping) ♪
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- Alright, let's order this (beeping) up.
- Aw, man.
- Oh my God.
Ooh. (laughing exhaustedly)
- Alright. (laughing gently)
(deep rhythmic music returns)
- So, what do you guys think about...
Like, do you think this costs a lotta money to-
- Cheapest.
- Really? - Okay.
- This got meat in it, so that should be more expensive.
- The presentation of this is throwin' me though.
- That's why I was like, "Should this be in the middle,"
'cause it's like colored, and you know, it's layered?
- It's what?
- It's colored.
Well you know, different colors of the rainbows.
- Alright, change the...
Justine.
(everyone laughing gently)
- But honestly, like that took some like, time to do.
- Here's the thing.
Gelatin's one of the cheapest items in the grocery store.
- So, even if it took time, it was cheap to make.
- It's gelatin.
- So, let's keep it there.
- Then... Ah!
Ah, man.
- I could go either way with this, to be honest.
- I might be down for that.
- You wanna go that way? - You wanna switch it up?
Let's switch it up. - Okay.
- Cheapest, gelatin.
Middlest, meat parfait.
Most expensive-
- The tomato and cheese parfait.
- Alright, let's try it.
- I'm nervous, let me read it. - Alright.
(deep rhythmic music continues)
(Tim gasping surprisingly)
(dramatic music swelling)
- Cheapest, rainbow parfait, $5!
- [Justina Valentine] Ooh, we did that!
- "This parfait's prepared by a home chef
with a cheap grocery store basket of ingredients,
including gelatin, whipped cream, and more."
Oh, wow.
- Wow.
- Here we go.
Number two, pulled pork parfait!
- Let's go! (everyone cheering happily)
- Wow!
Barbecue, $14.
"A popular street food way of enjoying pulled pork."
(Darren imitating horns blaring)
All the sides, including mashed potatoes, coleslaw,
gravy, and meat, in one jar."
- I love that.
- And three, most expensive, tomato and basil parfait, $25.
"Layers of burrata cheese"-
- Mmm, burrata, yeah.
- "Tomato, basil, and age-reduced balsamic vinegar-
♪ "Basic to Bougie" ♪
- In this inventive chef version of a savory parfait."
Wow.
- We killed that.
- We got everything right in the entire episode.
- And that's 'cause we love...
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ Damn, we know how to pick the cheapest and middlests ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
- Thanks for watching.
- (laughing amusingly) Like and subscribe.
- That don't have the same impact as the bump did.
- (laughing amusingly) Yeah, no.
- I'm Darren "Big Baby" Brand.
- I'm Tim Chantarangsu.
- And I'm Justina Valentine.
- And this is the episode of "Basic to Bougie"
we got everything right!
- And that's 'cause we love-
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
- Bye, y'all.
♪ Man, I really don't wanna take a shot ♪
♪ Food, food, food, food ♪
♪ I have irritable bowel syndrome ♪
(everyone laughing amusingly)
- I love that, when he does it wrong.
(everyone laughing amusingly)
Okay.
(dramatic tone swelling)
♪ MTV ♪