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- I'm so nervous.
- Yeah, me too.
But she comes highly recommended.
- I know, I know.
I just hope she can help us turn our pub around.
You know, we need good marketing or something.
You know, I can't take another loan out.
- Same.
My parents have put in a lot of money.
- Yeah.
- But, I have a good feeling about this.
(toilet flushes)
- Sorry about that.
You guys are out of toilet paper.
Daryl, Becky, I'm Lindsay Guggenheim, like the museum,
Food and Beverage Marketing Specialist.
- Yes, it is so great to meet you.
We heard all about the work you did for Gary at O'Sullivan's
and we also could use some help.
- Yeah, like I've been trying to promote
and use social media,
but I just feel like I'm so out of my depth.
- Yeah it looks like it, but don't worry, I'm here now.
You're in good hands, okay?
I'm gonna set you straight.
But there's no time to waste at all
'cause I saw your restaurant.
(exhales)
It's not good.
So I wanna pitch you guys an idea
that I think is gonna work,
but it's pretty groundbreaking.
- Please, give us anything.
We're willing to do anything.
- Are you sure?
'Cause what I'm thinking,
I'm about to pitch you something that
(exhales )
is gonna shake things up.
- Anything.
- Well all right then.
First thing that you are gonna do, okay,
you are gonna get yourselves a sandwich board
and you're gonna put it out front your restaurant.
It looks something like this.
- I think we already have one of those.
- Yeah, we definitely,
I think every restaurant
has just one of those laying around.
- So this one, it has something written on it.
- Well don't they all usually have-
- Daryl.
- Three words, okay?
Classic
Cobb
Salad.
- So, so it just, it just says Cobb Salad?
- Classic Cobb salad.
- Why?
- Daryl, um,
who is the expert here?
Which one? - You?
- Oh, it's me.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, it is.
Look I know this might be a little bit over your heads,
but this is the basics of marketing.
These are the ABCCs.
A, always, B, be, CC, Classic Cobb.
Always be Classic Cobb.
- And we do have a Cobb Salad on our menu-
- Classic.
- Yes, a Classic Cobb Salad.
But it is, it's not our best seller at all.
- Oh, that's funny, Becky.
How would that be?
Now how would your patrons know
that you have a great Cobb Salad?
Answer, they don't.
- It's on the menu.
- Daryl,
please, please don't say dumb shit.
- Okay. - Okay?
- So, so, so what about like a discount
or maybe a lunch menu or?
- Okay, Becky, look at me.
You don't discount a Classic Cobb Salad.
- I didn't know.
- I just don't understand what,
I just don't know I think.
- Okay, I see some hesitation
and I get it because
this is a big idea, right?
This is really groundbreaking.
And I know that it's, you know, it's a risk,
but you have to trust me.
- It's just a Cobb Salad.
- Daryl.
(groans)
That's literally the dumbest fucking thing
you could've said, no offense.
- How am I not supposed to take offense to that?
- If you put Classic Cobb Salad on a sandwich board
out front your restaurant,
you are gonna be beating away patrons with a stick.
- It just seems so simple.
- The best solutions always are Becky.
The best solution always are.
You guys, I have crunched the numbers.
I have the data in this Venn diagram.
You'll see the demographics are all represented.
Bacon lovers, blue cheese heads,
hard-boiled egg enthusiasts.
What brings them all together?
This sweet spot right in the center.
- But also what if we do something like a happy hour
or like a promoted Instagram post-
- Daryl, I'm gonna have to ask you just to shut your mouth,
'cause literally everything that comes out of it
is a steaming hot pile of garbage.
No offense.
- Again, I don't know how I'm not supposed to
take offense to that.
- Shut the fuck up Daryl, no offense.
- She said no offense.
(stutters)
- But, am I, yep, okay.
Okay.
- I think it's something we could try.
I think it's something that we could give a go.
- Yes, yes, that, yes.
That's the spirit Becky.
- Yeah right?
'Cause I was even thinking that maybe we could, you know,
drop some goat cheese on top of that Cobb Salad.
- And you lost me, okay.
(clears throat)
Becky, what don't you understand about classic?
- I guess I just thought-
- This is a Classic Cobb Salad.
So we're talking lettuce.
We're talking bacon.
We're talking avocado.
We're talking blue cheese.
This is not a Neo Cobb.
- Absolutely.
I just thought-
- Oh you just thought.
(stutters)
Okay, Becky, I had no idea that you were
such an egomaniac that you thought
you can mess with perfection.
You know, I didn't know you were a narcissistic asshole.
Maybe I wouldn't have signed up for this job
had I of known.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay Becky.
- No, it's not. - It's okay.
- I messed up. - You didn't.
We're fine.
- Okay you two, enough is enough.
I know it come across as harsh, but this is tough love.
Okay?
I do it 'cause I'm here for you, right?
You need someone to come in here
and shake things up and I'm shaking.
I'm shaking you two, right?
This is what you need.
You trust me.
You get a sandwich board out front
that says Classic Cobb Salad on it,
you're gonna have to call your egg guy.
I'm telling you right now, you're gonna have to call him
and you're going to have to say,
Gary, we need more of those hard-boiled beauties
because we can't even satisfy the Cobb cravings.
Beep.
You hear me?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I think we're good.
I think we're gonna try it.
- Yeah, we're gonna try and see how it goes.
- That's right.
That's right.
Say it with me, Classic Cobb Salad.
- [Both] Classic Cobb Salad.
Classic Cobb Salad, Classic Cobb Salad.
- Again.
- [All] Classic Cobb Salad.
- I can't hear you.
- [Both] Classic Cobb Salad.
- There it is.
Oh, you guys.
You're staring into the future, right?
Your lives are gonna change after this.
You just gotta take the first step, you know?
All right, I'm excited for you two.
My assistant will send our invoice.
- Awesome. - Oh, great.
We can finally have a kid now.
(laughs)
- Well.
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