Did you always want to ride on a fatass hamster to look cooler than Spongebob's Buttfucking Friend?
Did you always want to have a pet that would protect your little club down there from a blue pikachu throwing electric balls at you?
Then you came at the right garbage dump, my friend, because I will sell you a...
Before I tell you how to take care of that cute dog, you must equip him with these runes and masteries,
you have to teach him these tricks in that specific order and you need to get him these toys so he can fulfill his duty as a money whore.
After that, you have to tell him to brawl against the weak jungle monsters all day long because he will never die thanks to his wonderful genes
and when he finally reaches the stage of puberty, he will devour them to become a big fat asshole even more obese than the root b...
The sad thing is if he ever blissfully dies from getting gangbang by 4 people at once, he will shit half of the food he ate and he'll shrink back into a timbit size,
so if you want to use his developped body as a shield to protect your personal bitch,
you will have to tell him to eat meatballs in the enemy's jungle until he's full once again while telling your friends to get the fuck out.
What's more? This what-the-shit monster will eat any freaking thing in its way,
be it a wet little squirrel, a blue pikachu, scorpion's buttfucking friend, a BBQ vegetable, the charcoal used to cook the BBQ vegetable or even a cougar, if you get what I mean.
In other words, you won't need to spend a single dime to feed this awesome domestic pet!
What's even more? If he learns the powerful Nom Nom Nom-Smite combo, he will swim in a pool made of buffs and money and he'll be able to (THIS PET SO COOL) without failing once.
If you're sick of feeding him low-grade ingredients, you can bring him in a lane to have a sexy time with a digimon
and you can be sure that he will not be able to escape from him until he's sexually satisfied.
Exactly, since you taught him some tricks like the Spiky Trap and the Diva Scream, the poor little victims will not live to see another day
and since Cho Cho can cast these skills from far away, saving your family from adversity will be easier than stealing a lollipop from a baby.
That's why you can send a devil here to bait the foolish enemy to eat him as a snack before heading to the Monster Beauty Contest.
Even if he's a big ass motherfucker, the brush will still conceal his presence, so surprising these guys with a gank will be a piece of cake.
Dark Magician Girl has no mana left? Then tell your baby to use his long range attacks on her and eat her before she has the chance to get away.
Watch Grandpa Teemo's shop more, you silly fuckabish!
If the enemy has an escape tool, Cho Cho will use a Diva Scream-Spiky Trap-Nom Nom Nom combo before he can use it to bring you some pocket change from the wannabe ninja.
After ganking every lane like a boss, he will help your friends at vandalizing the government buildings, no problem!
If you don't know which items you need to buy to make Cho Cho super strong, let me tell you how to mindfuck his preys.
First, get him a blue boxing glove to make your enemies think you'll transform your monster into a rock solid tank.
See the peanut health from your allies compared to yours? That's what I'm talking about, son!
Second, take Sion's second hand axe to make them think you'll transform your pet into an AD bulldozer that will wreck the idiots that stack together.
Third, steal Shaco's wonderful mask from the pawnshop to make them think you'll transform your hamster into an AP master and guess what?
That item's special ability will work every time he auto-attacks someone thanks to his Needle Missile skill!
Fourth, get Annie's sex toy to slow every criminal to death and guess what?
That item's special ability will also work every time he auto-attacks someone, so burning and freezing a spamming master is finally possible!
For your last weapon, you should take a Zhonya so he can replace the Statue of Liberty.
By taking these items in that order, your enemies will not know what to build to defend themselves against Cho'Gath
and that's why he will become a huge tank that will deal tons of physical and magic damage.
So just what are you waiting for?
Get your sublime handy what-the-shit monster for a mere $13.50!
Yes, you heard right! Only 1-3-5-0!
Dial the telephone number you see at the screen right now and you'll receive a free Teemo plushie used for chewing purposes!
These sexy ladies are waiting for your call, dear customer, so take out your phone and...