Over the past few weeks, you may have noticed
a lot of stories about black people getting
the cops called on them for no good reason,
like for moving into their own apartment,
for staying at an Airbnb,
for golfing too slowly.
It has been exhausting.
Unfortunately, for any black people looking to take a nap,.
I got some bad news.
Yale University officials say they're deeply troubled
by a racially sensitive incident involving two grad students.
Lolade Siyonbola, who is black,
shot video of a white student
who'd called campus police on her.
Siyonbola had fallen asleep
in the common room of their building.
The other woman thought she was an intruder.
Come on, man.
This white lady called the cops
because she saw a black woman sleeping?
Sleeping, that's literally
the least threatening thing a person can do.
I mean, what did she tell the cops?
"Yeah, I know she's sleeping,
"but who knows what she could be dreaming of.
"I mean, this could be dangerous.
"The last time they had a dream, we had to let them vote.
Get over here quick."
(cheering and applause)
What are you, what are you afraid of?
And the worst part is
she was sleeping because she was tired
because Starbucks wouldn't sell her coffee.
(laughter)
And you know, guys, I-- sadly,
this is not an isolated incident.
Just the other day, I, Trevor Noah,
got the cops called on me for sleeping while I was driving.
(laughter)
This whole thing makes me crazy, man.
I mean, only a week ago,
Yale pulled Cosby's honorary degree.
It's like, make up your mind, Yale.
Are you for or against women sleeping?
-What do you want? -(audience groans)
I take your oohs and put them in my jar.
But let's move on to some good news.
TV REPORTER: Now to that breaking news.
Those three Americans who had been held by North Korea,
they are now back in the United States.
TV REPORTER: Just after 3:00 a.m.
the three American prisoners released
from North Korea stepped out of that plane
and into a made-for-TV moment
produced by the president himself.
One saying "It's like a dream”"
Wow, what a happy ending.
And I can see why one of these guys said it's like a dream
because one of these prisoners was taken
during the Obama administration and now he's, like, wait,
"The Apprentice guy is president?
Is this a dream?"
But still, but still, let's not hate.
Congratulations to President Trump
for getting these men free.
Yeah, and I-I honestly mean it. I mean it.
Their families will be happy to have them back.
Their spy agencies will also be happy to have them back.
And I think we can all agree that it's a great moment.
And we can always agree that Donald Trump
can make a really great moment very weird.
You know, only Trump could be thinking about TV ratings
in the middle of a hostages coming home party.
Like, it's 3:00 a.m.! Who cares about ratings?
Like, does Donald Trump have a rivalry with the lady
from the pasta boat infomercial?
What are you doing?
It's also strange that Trump said Kim Jong-un
was excellent to the prisoners.
Like, it's almost like they were the hostages,
but Trump is the one with Stockholm Syndrome.
(mimics Trump): "He was very nice, so nice, I love him.”
(normal voice): And I'm happy that these guys are home.
You know, they went through a lot.
Physical abuse, emotional abuse.
They were forced to eat disgusting food
in a cramped space where they couldn't move
their arms and legs.
And that was just their flight back on Spirit Airlines.
Spirit Airlines, a North Korean labor camp in the sky.