From what would happen if Einstein were alive today, to why we have a deeper voice when we
wake up, my name is Darlink and I’m here to answer everyone’s burning questions about life.
Hello dere. I’m Danger Dolan and I’m here to blow your minds and subsequently
your pants off with TRUTH. Ah - I just realised, we’re not even wearing pants!
You think I’m gonna be in this outfit forever? Just wait 20 episodes,
things’ll be different, you’ll see! As for me, I might change my outfit when
the Planet Dolan movie comes out. Yeah like that’ll ever happen.
I’ll have you know it’s in pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-pre
production! A set-in-stone definite locked in 2040-2048 release window. In the meantime though:
Why do some tablets have to be taken on an empty stomach, some with food, or some don't matter?
It really depends on the medication. Some drugs are intense and should be dampened with food
in the stomach. Others are better destroyed by stomach acid, so not eating anything for it will
speed up the process. But most medicine it doesn’t matter either way. Always be sure to read the
instructions before taking any kind of medication. You know what can be taken day or night,
full stomach or empty, rain or shine? The truth pill. All pharmacy medication contains 5G
tracking ID chips. The Loch Ness monster runs the government and lizard people are his lieutenants.
Radiation is a HOAX, you can breathe in space and that’s where we harvest potatoes from.
I challenge you to prove any of that. Okay. Here’s a potato, fresh from
space. Go ahead, disprove that. Are you sure that wasn’t just
the one inside your skull? Of course not. But nice try.
If you had a beef steak from 2022 and a beef steak from 1822, would they taste the same?
They would taste fairly different. The way cattle are raised has changed substantially
over the last two centuries. Back then they were walked for miles and grew up tough,
whereas now there’s no need for that. They were fed different foods unique to the times, and some
of those breeds back then have gone extinct. Diet has a big impact on taste, even today. And cows
now are fed food specifically engineered for them for nutrition, energy and bulk.
Look, the reality is, if you’ve kept meat in the freezer for two hundred years,
there’s a very high chance it would taste a little off. If we’re talking months, that’s okay,
but I draw the line when meat evolves fungus, transforms into a sentient monstrous creature
and tries to take a bite out of you instead. Speaking of which, Darlink would you like some
steak? Please god, have some steak. Hmmmmmm, got any tomato sauce?
No! Actually. Nnyeesss.
Why do we have a deeper voice in the first minutes of waking up?
This is because of the buildup of mucus and other fluids inside your throat. Your throat dries as
you sleep, and you barely swallow so that by the time you awaken it will have congealed
substantially. Additionally, when you’re not using your vocal cords they tend to get loose,
and it’ll take a bit of talking when you wake up to get everything working again.
Yeah, na. This is your body’s way of testing how manly you are. The deeper your voice, the
more masculine you have clearly become. The other day I slept for 2 months and when I woke up I had
ascended well beyond the limits of mortal men. Today, I’m going to create a wooden desk out of
two sticks, then I’m going to hit the gym and then I’m going to turn the wooden desk into a football.
Don’t believe her lies, Dolan. Actually I might just
have another nap instead. That’s… probably for the best.
If you put popcorn kernels in your mouth and shocked yourself with
high voltage, would it pop the popcorn? In actuality, it’s about the temperature
that pops kernels, not electricity. In order to achieve enough heat that they would pop,
you would need to cook your mouth at 180 degrees celsius which is over four times hotter than the
hottest temperature day in the year. So suffice to say, yes, you could pop them,
but your jaw would melt off in the process. I find the best method for doing this is
to put a lot of small metal objects like nails in your mouth next to the kernels,
douse yourself in water, then wait for the next thunderstorm and stand outside with your
mouth open and await the glorious thunderbolt to carefully pop the kernels with one billion volts.
I’m pretty sure this would ALSO melt your jaw off. You’re just jealous because your paltry 180
degree technique can’t compete with my billion volt kernel popping guarantee.
How do wooden items like tables and house structures not rot even
though they’re made of dead tree cells? Wood is an extremely durable material,
but it’s not entirely impervious to rot. It needs to be wet for a long time,
or constantly cycling between wet and dry to become rotten. An example of this is a
fallen tree beside a lake being splashed by waves. The cells and natural-occurring glue
holding those cells together will survive the death of a tree for a long time,
which you can observe by the layers of wood forming rings when you break apart a piece.
AXCUTALLY, the durability of wood is influenced by its happiness gauge. If you water a tree everyday,
give it chin scratches, present gifts, then when it dies it’ll go down with a smile on its face.
Wood cannot possibly rot when it comes from a tree loved by its owner. It’s basic chemistry.
I’m so happy you killed me! Shh! Be quiet!
Aaaaanyway, next question, hurry up, let’s go.
If Einstein were alive today and had access to supercomputers, would he be
able to produce new more advanced science? Unfortunately, it likely wouldn’t have made
much of a difference. Einstein came up with many brilliant theories,
but he was still wrong on occasion. It could be if he suddenly returned to life that he
would continue to make breakthroughs but at the same rate as before. He made a lot
of discoveries early in his career and was considered lucky enough to be the
right person at the right time for it. It’s already happening. Einstein cloned
himself before he was murdered and the Einstein Jrs formed a cult that invented the internet,
cryptocurrencies and were the first to combine chicken and waffles.
Soon they will invent teleportation but more excitingly chicken and waffles 2,
which is a sequel to chicken and waffles. How do you make a sequel to food?
Easy. Recolour it. Add bacon to the side as a microtransaction. Put the number 2 to the end
of it and nobody will know the difference. Sounds like a marketing stunt to me. Wait,
did you say that Einstein was murdered? No. Don’t be silly. Now let’s stop talking.
What if you only ever ate 1 type of food? This would be terrible for your health. One
teenager was hospitalised after only eating chicken nuggets for 15 years straight. If
you were to only eat one fruit or vegetable for the rest of your life, you would likely suffer
organ failure. If you only ate meat, your muscles would get worn away. You would suffer from scurvy,
low blood sugar, anemia, dry skin and weight changes. It could get so bad that you would need
to be fed from a tube at a hospital to survive. So, suffice to say, try and keep a balanced diet.
Me? I only eat popcorn chicken. Day or night. From the moment I wake up with
my portable popcorn chicken alarm clock, to the car-powered popcorn chicken alarm clock,
and my fridge filled to the brim with popcorn chicken alarm clocks - I am NEVER without
delicious sustenance to keep me going. How are you not dead? Chicken has no
carbs. Your muscles are going to wear away and you’ll have impaired brain funct- OH.
What? You’re not getting any of my popcorn chicken. You go ahead and stick with your
“balanced diet”. Disgusting.
If you’re fat, would you have a better chance of surviving a knife wound than someone fit & lean?
Surprisingly, yes! People with a large gut will survive getting stabbed there or near the ribs;
however, they will still be just as susceptible if they’re stabbed anywhere else on the body.
In fact, some medics and soldiers refer to belly fat as “urban armour” and that you can not only
survive a knife wound, but a bullet wound too. Though being so wide does make you an easier
target, so hopefully you don’t hang around places where you can get stabbed or shot.
Let’s find out. Here is my good friend, Francis. Francis, I am going to stab you now.
Wait, what? HEUUUUGH! Oh my god, you stabbed me! Oh I didn’t actually mean to-
I’m bleeding to death Are you okay?
ooooh it huuuuuurts I’m so sorry.
Why did you do this? I’m really sorry!
What did you do! I messed up, I accidentally stabbed this guy and-
How do you accidentally stab someone? I didn’t mean to!
Just joking. I’m A-OK! Anyway thanks for having me, sorry if it reminds you about what happened
to Hellbent. Alright, cya guys! Wait - what was that?
Lesson learned. Don’t stab. I guess. Can I stab you?
No. Are you sure?
Positive. Just once?
…no.