A lot of guys find themselves in a situation where they're getting mixed messages from
a girl.
And it's really confusing, because you're trying to decipher does she like you.
Does she not like you?
You don't know how to proceed forward.
Are you going to be coming off needy if you do too much?
If you back off are you going to completely lose her?
There's a whole array of situations here.
So we're going to go over those and explain to you what's going on.
I'm also going to be giving you examples of what it looks like when she's giving you mixed
messages.
Here's the first lesson and all this is something you have to understand.
Really imprint this into your brain because this is the majority situation.
Majority situation is she either likes you or she doesn't.
It's a pretty black and white situation.
She's either interested and that means she's receptive or maybe being assertive in the
situation like asking you out, things like that.
Or she's not a interested at all, which means what?
She's ghosting you, she's not responding to your text messages, etc.
The whole idea here is women are either in or they're out.
I know that sounds black and white.
So if that's black and white, how are there mixed messages?
A woman can still give mixed messages but she still lies in one of those camps being
in or out.
No one just half likes a person.
You can be sort of attracted to them but that doesn't mean that you're really attracted
like you are interested in that person.
You're really on and off, switch in or out.
This is for every situation.
Think about it with you.
Are there any situations where you kind of like a girl?
You might be thinking of one but you don't.
You are saying to yourself, she has this and this.
She's really attractive and she's really cool but she's not this, this and this.
You're in this weird balance phase.
If you're balancing things, if you're in this balancing phase where there are some things
that you like and some things that you don't, boom, that means you're not interested.
Think about the times when you know you really like someone.
Are you having that back and forth situation in your head?
You're like, whoa, I like that girl, I'm attracted to her.
I'm interested in her.
And you're either pursuing or you're figuring out a way to pursue or whatever it is.
That means that you're in anything other than that means that you're out.
And it's the same thing for women.
Here's the thing.
Men and women become attracted in different ways.
The way you might be attracted to a female will be different than the way females are
attracted to you.
I'm not talking about how attraction works.
I'm talking about being in the situation where you are attracted, black and white.
It is binary.
Let's keep going here.
Like I said, black or white.
If she's willing to see you or agree to meet up, whether it's her asking you, or you asking
her, that's a solid sign that she's interested.
By the way, this is not friend-zone.
I'm talking about all this in the context of a date.
You've been flirting with her, you even use the word date, you met her out in about a
bar, whatever.
It's clear that it's interest.
If she comes to see you, boom, she's interested.
On the other hand, if she doesn't respond to your text messages, if she ghosts you,
if she doesn't give you her number, if she gives you her number, but it's a fake number,
whatever it is.
All that is she's not interested in all that.
Meaning she's not willing to see you or meet up with you.
Or maybe she is texting back, but she's not meeting up with you.
She's not interested.
You gotta think black, white, black, white.
That's how this works.
To answer the big question, why you're getting mixed messages.
The big answer is that she's not interested.
Then you're probably saying, I don't get it.
If she's not interested, why is she giving mixed messages?
What's going on?
Let me give you a few reasons.
Maybe you're the best person for her in this moment.
In her head, she's half in half out.
You're not terrible to hang out with, you're not terrible to talk to.
But she's not really all in.
She's going to be giving you mixed messages.
Maybe she's dating multiple guys.
She's dating you, she's dating someone else.
She's interested in multiple people.
What does that mean?
That means that she's keeping you around, but she's not meeting up with you that much.
That means she's not interested, even if she's showing you a little bit of that interest.
Being half in means all the way out.
I'm going to keep on repeating myself here so you really understand this.
What are some examples of mixed messages?
I'm sure your getting these, but I want to confirm them for you.
Maybe she's willing to meet up with you, but not in a date setting.
Let's think about this for a second.
You're trying to go out to dinner with her.
But she doesn't really want to do that.
She just wants to meet up with you, but also with her friends.
You're trying to set up this alone time but it's not working.
Or maybe you're trying to do something specific, like go out to dinner, get a drink, which
is a little bit more romantic because it's a nighttime thing.
But she's like, no, let's go get coffee or she wants to play it safe and say, you can
come by or I'm hanging out or saying like, why don't you just do something where it's
convenient for me, meaning convenient for her.
That is one type of mixed message you might see where she's not really all in here and
she's changing plans.
She's willing to meet you, but not so much in the date context.
It's a little confusing.
Other common mixed messages are her responding to your text message.
But like I said, if she's not willing to meet up, she's not interested.
I don't even see that as a mixed message where some guys interpret that.
She's just texting you.
It doesn't mean anything.
Another one is this, she'll hook up with you, but she won't have sex with you.
And this is a mixed message like you guys kiss and do stuff.
But you guys have been hanging out for months and she won't do it.
Exceptions are if she's a virgin, she's saving herself, she's religious, whatever.
Those are exceptions.
Obviously, she's not gonna be going all the way with you.
But let's say you guys are hanging out and you're consistently trying to do more than
just kiss.
You're trying to take it further but she constantly rejects you.
This clearly is a mixed message, because she's saying she's interested by giving a little
bit, but she's not actually having sex with you.
This is what makes it tough.
But here's the thing.
I know this is gonna sound crazy.
But we're going back to black and white here.
If she's not willing to have sex with you, except for those exceptions, she's not interested.
You're just the guy who she enjoys hanging out with.
She enjoys the attention.
Sure, she'll kind of make out with you, but she doesn't feel attracted enough to go and
do more than just that.
Here's another one.
I've worked with a client and I remember him saying this to me and I've seen this multiple
times.
He said, I'm dating this girl and we see each other about once a week.
I said, how many times have you seen her?
He said maybe like four or five times.
It's been over the course of a couple of months.
I just tried to see her for a second time in a week, and she won't do it.
She even said to him, I don't want to see you more than once a week.
And she didn't give much of a reason.
I think maybe she was dating someone else or she was getting over a breakup.
Either way, doesn't matter what the reason is.
Her not willing to see him more than once a week, especially after you guys have been
dating and seeing each other for once a week for a couple of months.
This means she's not interested.
People who are interested will take the time, will want to see you, will reschedule things
to see you because they are attracted to you.
Remember, half in means all the way out.
Those are just a few examples, but because you understand the underlying principles here,
anything that falls in to her not showing that much interest means or anything with
a mixed message means that she's out.
There's something also we need to be going over here.
Some guys see some friend-zone tendencies as mixed messages.
I want to be very clear with you.
This is not even a mixed message confusing situation.
It's all the way out.
I gave you some examples of she is maybe seeing you in a date, kissing you things like that.
But some guys think a mixed message is when a girl pays attention to them or when he's
friends with a girl and she flirts with him or says nice things or makes them feel good
because that's what friends do.
And then a guy sees that and says, she likes me and then comes on here to YouTube and goes,
what's going on with these mixed messages?
This is not a mixed message.
This is you in the friend-zone.
This is her clearly all the way out.
What this looks like more specifically, is a girl not being sexual with you at all.
No touching that's sexual.
Also nothing under what would be considered a date.
You guys are hanging out.
If it's casual, that's not a date.
That's just you guys hanging out.
Nothing is under the context of a date and there's nothing with sexual tension.
No touching, nothing like that at all.
She is out, but more out because you guys are friends.
You got to be very careful here in understanding the distinction between whether she is half
in because she kind of likes you or it's a friend-zone situation.
The reason why you should understand that is because if you're in a friend-zone situation,
you have to make a decision.
You have to figure out is this a girl that you want to make the move and go for or you're
going to call her your friend because it has to be black and white.
In any of these cases it has to be black and white.
If a girl is giving you mixed messages like the ones I was talking about before, where
yes dates yes touching all that, you gotta just completely call it quits.
I do not want you to stick around in these friend-zone situations or in these half mixed
messages situations because if she's not all in, guess who's out?
You're out.
You should not have to be in a situation or deal with the situation or strategize or come
up with some clever plan to try to get her to like you.
She's either in or she's out.
And if she's out, you need to move on.
You need to be going out, meeting more women, talking to more women and getting women who
are all in.
Now it might take some time where you guys might have to go on a few dates before bigger
things happen.
It's going to seem like the mixed message thing I said because you guys aren't gonna
have sex on the first date but she still might be interested.
You got to give it a little bit of time but now you understand what it's going to look
like moving forward.
A woman is most interested in you when she is either telling you this, she's willing
to see you a lot, you guys are having sex, all of those things.
And when that's not happening, you have permission.
I'm giving you permission to move on and find another girl who's all in.
There's a few factors that you're doing that are causing mixed messages.
And while I can go deep into a lot of them, I want to focus on one today.
And this is one that I really hardcore go into in my Hooked program.
You can find a link in the description down below if you want to get access to that.
It's this concept about dominance.
When I say dominance, I mean leading the interaction.
When I say leading the interaction, I mean leading the interaction forward.
When you're with the woman, when you meet a girl, when you guys are going on dates,
if you want to avoid the friend-zone, you need to lead the interaction forward.
It needs to progress from where you just start here.
You saying hello or approaching or swiping left, whatever the initial interaction, and
it needs to move towards you guys having sex and of course with the exceptions of people
saving themselves in sort of some relationship.
It's your job as the man to move that forward and if you don't move it forward, it's not
going to go anywhere.
I know that sounds black and white like if I don't move forward, what she's going to
do nothing?
No, she might still do something.
She might still be assertive in the courtship process.
But mainly it's your job as the man, not because you should do all the work and women shouldn't
and women are entitled, none of that nonsense.
It's because you moving the interaction forward, the actual process of that gets her attracted.
I'll say that again.
The process of you moving the interaction forward and being the man leading it, that's
a masculine trait, leading.
You doing that gets her attracted.
You're killing two birds with one stone here and moving the interaction forward and getting
her more attracted at the same time.
In order to avoid the mixed messages, you need to do that.
Because if you're just stagnant and letting things just happen and not moving forward
and not doing anything and not pushing towards you guys getting physical or towards a relationship,
it starts to die and therefore she starts to lose attraction and therefore starts to
become sort of uninterested, might start dating other guys, might want to meet you sometimes,
but doesn't want to be the one to actually initiate sex, all those things.
You need to be the one to move it forward.
A lot of guys, they have trouble with that and the reason is, is because they're scared
of rejection.
Let me scare you even more.
Rejection, not scary.
What's scarier is you having the opportunity to go up to a woman to talk to her, to lead
the interaction forward to be on a date to move it forward to more dates, to move it
forward to sex.
You not taking that and then it dying, that's a lost opportunity.
That sucks.
That's going to feel way worse than you trying and getting rejected.
Rejection, no big deal.
Lost opportunities, big deal.
I want to get to that into your brain.
Don't be afraid, move the interaction forward, of course with consent.
Moving the interaction forward and taking it to that next level.
That's what's going to make it so least chances of mixed messages and least chances of you
being in the friend-zone.
Like I said, my course Hooked talks all about this.
It talks about you being dominant, teaches you how to lead the interaction forward.
It even teaches you all the different steps like what are all the steps in terms of all
the different marking points of the interaction.
That is going into detail in that course along with everything else teaching you what attraction
is so you make sure that you're triggering it as you're talking to a woman, as you're
interacting with her.
Check that out.
It's at www.getherhooked.
com.
The link is in the description below.
Hopefully this has cleared everything up in terms of mixed messages and you truly understand
what it means to avoid all the friend-zone nonsense, all that stuff and you can move
it forward and have a solid chance.