>>
>> THE
>> THE KIDS CAN MESS UP YOUR MOM GAME.
MOM GAME.
MOM GAME. THEY ARE TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE.
YOU THINK THINGS ARE WORKING
OUT AND YOUR SON COMES UP AND
IS LIKE PULL MY FINGER OR DROPS
SOME SWEARWORD.
SOME SWEARWORD. IF THAT MOM CAN ROLL WITH, IT
THAT IS A GOOD MOM FRIEND.
>> THAT IS THE KIND YOU WANT.
>> THAT WAS A CLIP FROM THE I
MOM SO HARD LADIES.
>> THEY ARE NOW TOURING THE
COUNTRY AND TELLING THEIR CRAZY
STORIES IN A NEW BOOKISM SAT
DOWN WITH THE PAIR TO LEARN
MORE.
MORE.
MORE. KRISTIN AND JEN, YOU ARE BOTH
FROM NEBRASKA.
FROM NEBRASKA. YOU BOTH WENT TO THE SAME
UNIVERSITY.
UNIVERSITY. >> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> IT APPEARS THAT MAYBE SOME
STALKING LAWS WERE BEING
VIOLATED HERE.
VIOLATED HERE. YOU TWO JUST KEPT SHOWING UP IN
EACH OTHER'S LIFE AFTER THAT.
>> WE KEPT MISSING EACH OTHER.
I WAS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
COURSE SHE WAS AT WESLEYAN.
WE-OUT IN ALL THE SAME CIRCLES
AND NEVER FULLY MET.
>> WE MOVED TO L.A.
>> SEPARATELY.
>> SEPARATELY. AND WE LIVED A BLOCK AND A HALF
AWAY FROM IT.
>> DROVE IDENTICAL CARS.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> SERIOUSLY? >> MINI COOPERS.
>> BUT DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER
THEN EITHER.
THEN EITHER. >> THEN WE MET IN A PARKING LOT
HAVING BEERS AFTER A COMEDY
SHOW.
SHOW.
SHOW. >>
SHOW. >> THIS IS ALMOST LIKE A SINGLE
WHITE FEMALE TYPE OF SITUATION
GOING ON HERE.
>> I WAS BLONDE AT THE TIME AS
A MATTER OF FACT.
>> WE WERE OBLIVIOUS.
>> YOU CONNECTED THERE.
>> IMMEDIATELY.
>> IMMEDIATELY. >> SO RIGHT THEN AND THERE
DECIDED WE NEEDED TO BE BEST
FRIENDS FROM THE GET HAD BEEN
GO BECAUSE WE WERE LIKE WE
DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT
-- THIS IS ANNOYING.
LET'S JUST MAKE UP FOR LOST
TIME AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS.
>> SO I WAS IN HER HOUSE THE
NEXT DAY LIKE ON HER COUCH.
>> SO THE THINGS THAT BOND YOU,
THAT YOU ARE FROM NEBRASKA, YOU
WENT TO COLLEGE.
YOU BOTH HAVE A COMEDY
BACKGROUND.
BACKGROUND. ENTERTAINMENT BACKGROUND WHICH
IS WHY YOU MOVED TO L.A.
THEN THAT THING THAT YOU HAVE A
WHOLE NEW SORORITY OF PEOPLE IN
THE SAME GROUP AND THAT IS A
MOM.
MOM.
MOM. YOU
MOM. YOU BECOME A MOM.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> IT IS JUST LIKE A SORORITY
IF YOU ARE LIKE LOCKED IN YOUR
OWN SEPARATE ROOM WITH A
SCREAMING ROOMMATE, LIKE A
TINING TINY ANGRY ROOMMATE.
>> THAT IS YOUR HAZING PERIOD.
>> SHE SHOULD GIVE COLLEGE
FRESHMAN TODDLERS AND THAT
WOULD BE HAZING.
>> KEEP THIS IN LINE.
THEY WOULD BE TOO TIRED TO
PARTY.
PARTY.
PARTY. >>
PARTY. >> WE REALIZED LIKE IT IS ICE
LIGHT RAITTING TO BECOME A
MOTHER.
MOTHER.
MOTHER. YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO
ANYBODY AND FIND OUT THEY ARE
GOING THROUGH THE SAME STUFF.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO BRUSH
YOUR TEETH OR USE THE BATHROOM.
>> YOU ARE ALWAYS LOOKING DOWN.
YOU NEED SOMEONE SO WHEN YOU
LOOK UP, YOU CAN GET TO T THEY
KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT.
YOU CAN LEAN ON THEM DURING A
TOUGH TIME AND THAT WAS JEN FOR
ME.
ME.
ME. >>
ME. >> WHEN MY HUSBAND GOT HOME, I
WOULD BOLT.
WOULD BOLT. I COULD K. GO IN THE BATHROOM
AND BRUSH MY TEETH.
>> WE NOTICED THAT ONCE YOU
BECOME A MOTHER, IT JUST
PERMEATES YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN A SURGEON
BEFORE YOU BECAME A MOM BUT NOW
YOU'RE JUST A MOM.
>> A MOM THAT IS A SURGEON.
>> YOU'RE JUST MAD AT YOUR KID
WHILE YOU'RE DOING HEART
SURGERY.
SURGERY.
SURGERY. >> YOU CAN'T HELP BUT DO IT.
AS HARD AS IT IS, YOU ARE STILL
POSTING PICTURES OF THE KID.
YOU ARE SO SICK OF THEM AT THE
END OF THE DAY AND YOU LOOK IT
BED AND YOU LOOK AT PICTURE BUT
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT MOM SO HARD.
>> SO THEN WE GOT TOGETHER ONE
NIGHT OF PARTICULARLY BAD
MOMMING AND FEELING LIKE WE
WERE TERRIBLE.
WERE TERRIBLE. >> WAS ALCOHOL INVOLVED?
>> ALWAYS.
>> ALWAYS. WE HAY GLASS OF WIPE.
WE WERE CRYING.
WE WERE LAUGHING.
WE WERE LIKE HOW COME NOBODY
SHOWS THIS.
SHOWS THIS. CAN WE SHOW WHAT THIS IS?
BECAUSE EFFECT IS JUST TELLING
US LIKE HOW TERRIBLE EVERYTHING
IS OR THEY'RE TRYING TO INSPIRE
US WHICH IS WORSE.
I DON'T WANT TO PINTEREST
ANYTHING.
ANYTHING.
ANYTHING. >> WHAT I LOSS DO IS, IT WORKS
EVERY TIME, HE JUST GOES TO
SLEEP FOR EIGHT TO NINE HOURS.
>> LIKE GOOD FOR YOUR BABY.
>> THE KID MIGHT SLEEP FOR
EIGHT HOURS OR.
>> UP FOR 24 HOURS.
>> SHE IS REALLY ONLY GETTING
EIGHT HOURS A WEEK.
SO HITS IT'S ALL RELATIVE.
WE DID THE VIDEOS TO SHOW YOU
CAN BE OKAY WITH OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO A PERFECT 10.
A 7 IS A GREAT DAY.
>> JUST EVEN LIKE SPRUCING UP A
LITTLE BIT.
LITTLE BIT. >> LOOK HOW OILY MY HAIR IS.
THAT IS REAL LIFE.
I'M A MOMMY.
>> A TRUE MOMMY.
>> AND SOME OF THE OTHER THINGS
YOU JUST COVER IS WITH YOUR
CHILDREN.
CHILDREN.
CHILDREN. YOU HAVE A BOY AND GIRL AGES?
>> EIGHT AND TODAY, SHE WAS
TURNING SIX.
TURNING SIX. IT IS HER BIRTHDAY TODAY.
>> AND?
>> AND?
>> AND? >> MY SON IS 6 AND MY DAUGHTER
IS 4. SO WE WERE PREGNANT AT
THE SAME TIME WITH OUR 6-YEAR-
OLDED.
OLDED.
OLDED. THEY ARE FIVE WEEKS APART AND
HOPEFULLY THEY'LL GET MARRIED
MY BABY WAS 9-5. THAT IS A BIG
BABY.
BABY.
BABY. WHERE DID THE OTHER 20 POUNDS
COME FROM.
COME FROM. >> I HAD 08 DEAL WITH.
>> OH, WOW.
>> I KNOW MINE ALL CAME FROM
CHIPOTLE.
CHIPOTLE.
CHIPOTLE. >> THEN THAT IS YOUR AFTER BABY
BODY.
BODY.
BODY. PEOPLE LIKE ON TV, THEY WOULD
CALL ME AND SAY YOU KNOW YOU'VE
GONED SOME WEIGHT.
I HAY BABY.
YES, BUT HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT?
GET THEM ON THE PHONE
IMMEDIATELY.
IMMEDIATELY. >> IT WAS NINE MONTHS.
>> NINE YEARS BUT SO WHAT.
AND NOW IT IS 15 YEARS.
IT IS FINALLY STARTING TO COME
OFF.
OFF.
OFF. >>
OFF. >> MY HUSBAND DEVELOPED LIKE A
SYMPATHETIC WEIGHT GAIN AND IT
WAS ALL HOT WINGS.
HE DIDN'T CREATE LIFE LIKE I
DID SO HE DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD
EXCUSE.
EXCUSE.
EXCUSE. >> HE ATE FOR ALL OF US AND SO
DID MY MUSE.
>> THOSE ARE THINGS OF HOW YOU
DRESS YOUR BABY.
WHEN YOU GO OUT OF OF THE
HOUSE, IN THE HOUSE IS ONE
THING.
THING.
THING. WHEN YOU GO OUT TO THE WORLD, I
HAD A FRIEND OF MINE GAVE ME A
BURRBURY WEDNESDAY.
BURRBURY WEDNESDAY. MY SON DIDN'T FIT IN IT.
ON PICTURE DAY, HE WAS LIKE
THIS.
THIS.
THIS. THE
THIS. THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS LIKE THAT
IS A LITTLE SMALL, ISN'T IT?
>> NO, IT'S NOT.
>> THE PLAID PART IS GOING TO
WORK.
WORK.
WORK. >>
WORK. >> WE TALK ABOUT THIS IN THE
WEEK THAT YOU TRY TO MAKE
EVERYTHING SO PICTURE PERFECT.
I HAD FOR MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST
BIRTHDAY.
BIRTHDAY.
BIRTHDAY. THIS TEA PARTY AND EVERYBODY
WORE ANTIQUE HATS AND SHE THIS
THIS BEAUTIFUL WHITE DRESS.
I PUT HER DOWN IF A NAP AND SHE
HAD AN EXPLOSIVE DIAPER
SWAYING.
SWAYING.
SWAYING. >> SHE TOOK IT ONE STEP --
>> SHE DECIDED TO PICASSO THE
ROOM.
ROOM.
ROOM. >>
ROOM. >> I CAME IN AND JEN WAS
BALLING.
BALLING.
BALLING. SHE'S LIKE SHE'S CRAPPED
EVERYWHERE.
EVERYWHERE. WHAT DO I DO.
>> WE ARE TAKING OFF OUR OLD
TIMEY HATS AND GLOVES.
THAT IS THE OTHER THING.
>> THE PICTURES ARE BEAUTIFUL.
>> BUT SHE IS IN A T-SHIRT.
>> THE BIRTHDAY PARTY THING.
WHEN I WAS A KID IT WAS PICNIC
TABLE IN THE BACK YARNED AND
CAKE AND ICE CREAM.
PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY.
NOW, IT IS LIKE EXCURSIONS.
>> IT WAS LIKE A PIZZA IF YOU
WERE LUCKY.
WERE LUCKY. >> THEN ONE OF THOSE CAKES WITH
A RUSTY NINE BY TWELVE PAN.
>> YOUR MOM ALWAYS SAVED THE
CANDLE.
CANDLE.
CANDLE. IT DIDN'T MAT OFFICER IT SAID
FOUR.
FOUR.
FOUR. >>
FOUR. >> JUST TURN IT AROUND AND
LIGHT IT.
LIGHT IT.
LIGHT IT. >> THEN IT'S HE LIKE --
>> I THINK IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE
ASO BUSY.
ASO BUSY.
ASO BUSY. WE ARE DESPERATE TO CREATE THE
MEMORIES FOR THEM AND FOR US.
WE ARE TRYING SO HARD TO NOT
MESS IT UP BUT YOU CAN'T HELP
BUT FAIL AT IT. %
>> PART OF WHAT THE BOOK IS
ABOUT, WE WERE SAYING WE SAW IT
IN BARNES & NOBLE SO IT'S OUT
THERE.
THERE.
THERE. >>
THERE. >> I KNOW.
>> THANK YOU.
>> AT THE SAME TIME IT IS FUNNY
FOR NIP TO READ, IT ALSO I
GUESS JUST SAYS WE CAN ALL GET
THROUGH THIS.
THROUGH THIS. IT IS NOT THE ENOF THE WORLD.
>> WE HAVE AN EVENT WITH BOOKS
A MILLION.
A MILLION. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BOOKSELLERS
BECAUSE THEY ARE KILLING IT FOR
US.
US.
US. ALL
US. ALL THESE MOMS COME IN AND THEY
WILL BE LIKE HALF IN YOGA
CLOTHES AND LIKE THEIR WORK
JACKET AND THEY'RE LIKE I
BARELY MADE IT HERE TODAY.
I HAD TO DROP EVERYBODY OFF AT
SOCCER.
SOCCER.
SOCCER. WE'RE LIKE WE GET IT.
WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU.
>> MY I HAD ARE ON THE SIDE
OVER THERE EATING BURRITOS
BECAUSE I FLEW THEM IN.
>> AT LEAST THEY ARE AEATING
BURRITOS.
BURRITOS.
BURRITOS. MINE HAS A BOX OF CHEEZ-ITS.
>> WE COME HERE BECAUSE WE WANT
THE MEXICAN FOOD.
>> IF THERE WEREN'T GOLDFISH,
MY KID WOULD STARVE.
>> WHEN YOU GET YOUR MOMMY,
JUST GOLD LEATHER TO MATCH THE
GOLDFISH UNTIL THEY GET TO A
CERTAIN AGE WHEN AT THE CAN
KEEP STUFF IN THEIR MOUTH AND
NOT ALL OVER THE SEAT SAOFPLT.?
>> WHAT IS THAT.
>> IF THE CARMAKER WAS SMART,
THEY WOULD MAKE A RUBBER BACKED
SEAT.
SEAT.
SEAT. >>
SEAT. >> IT HAS A VACUUM CLEANER IN
IT.
IT.
IT. YOU
IT. YOU GOT TO GET THAT.
>> AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE
WHOLE THING IS THEYVE DONE IT
FOR YEARS AN YEARS AN YEARS.
HUMAN BEINGS HAVE GOTTEN
THROUGH.
THROUGH.
THROUGH. IT CAN BE TOUGH BUT IT IS THE
GREATEST JOB YOU'LL EVER LOVE
OR TOUGHEST JOB ALLALLY EVER
LOVE.
LOVE.
LOVE. >>
LOVE. >> IT IS MUCH MORE FUN IF YOU
HAVE A FRIEND CAN YOU LEAP ON
AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND LAUGH
THROUGH ALL THE HARD STUFF.
>> AND DRINK WINE OR VODKA.
>> WE'RE DRINKING WATER.
>> SHE SAYS IT'S WATER.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY. >>
OKAY. >> I HAVE TO.
>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'RE DRINKING WATER.
THANK YOU, LADIES.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.
>>> KRISTIN AN JEN'S BOOK,