IT'S HAPPENING.
TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY.
CHEESIER CHEESIER DONALD TRUMP WILL BE INAUGURATED AS OUR
45th PRESIDENT.
YEAH, THAT KILLED THE ATMOSPHERE, ISN'T IT, THERE IT
IS.
AND IF YOU ARE WONDERING IF HIS SPEECH WILL BE GOOD, DON'T WORRY
BECAUSE TRUMP GAVE US A LITTLE PREVIEW WHEN HE TREAT TWEET TWED
THIS.
HE TWEETED WRITING MY INAUGURAL ADDRESS AT THE WINNER WHITE
HOUSE MAR-A-LAGO THREE WEEKS AGO.
LOOKING FORWARD TO FRIDAY.
HASHTAG INAUGURATION.
LOOK, DO WE LOOK AT THAT FACE.
LOOK AT HIS FACE THERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
I JUST FEEL SO INSPIRED AND FULL OF OPTIMISM FOR THIS COUNTRY
NOW, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AGAIN.
LOOK, LACK AT THAT.
LOOK.
NOTHING SAYS POWERFUL WORLD LEADER LIKE THE EXPRESSION OF A
MAN WHO HAS JUST BEEN GIVEN A BIRTHDAY CARD TO FINER WORK AND
IS STRUGGLING TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING FUNNY TO WRITE.
>> LOOK AT THIS.
WHY IS HE WRITING IT WITH A SHARPIE?
(LAUGHTER) WHO WRITES A SPEECH WITH A
SHARPIE?
JUDGING BY THE SPELLING IN HIS TWEETS, HE SHOULD BE USING A
PENCIL WITH A GOOD CLEAN "ERASER" AND ABOUT EIGHT MORE
LEGAL PADS.
NOW ANOTHER PROBLEM WITH THIS IS EAGLE EYE OBSERVERRED NOTED THAT
THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FRONT RECEPTION DESK AT THE RESORT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THAT'S A PICTURE OF THE RECEPTION 6789 A
HOTEL LOBBY IS A REALLY AWKWARD PLACE TO WRITE YOUR SPEECH.
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED.
ARY YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE MY FELLOW AMERICANS, OH NO, I CAN'T
CHECK YOU IN, I'M SORRY, JENNIFER, WOULD YOU MIND, CAN
YOU MAKE SURE AM BUT IT'S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK FOR THE INCOMING
ADMINISTRATION.
ON WEDNESDAY OVER 100 PROTESTORS SHOWED OWN VICE PRESIDENT-ELECT
MIKE PENCE'S HOUSE TO PROTEST HIS VIEWS ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
BY THROWING A QUOTE QUEER DANCE PARTY YES.
YEAH.
A GAY DANCE PARTY ON HIS LAWN.
THAT WILL CHANGE HIS MIND.
THE MARCH HAD 200 GAY PROTESTORS AND REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMEN WHO
SAID THEY WERE JUST THERE TO MAKE SURE IT DIDN'T GET OUT OF
HAND.
AND FINALLY TONIGHT SOME WEIRD JAPANESE NEWS OR AS THEY CALL IT
IN JAPAN, THE NEWS, OHE JAPANESE REST ROOM INDUSTRY ASSOCIATION
HAS DESIGNED A NEW STANDARDIZED CONTROL PANEL FOR TOILETS
BECAUSE FOREN TOURISTS FIND THEIR TOILET TOOS CONFUSING.
AND I'M LIKE WHO'S WALKING TOO A BATHROOM LOOKING AT A TOILET AND
THINKING OKAY, WHAT DO I DO HERE?
(LAUGHTER) NOW APPARENTLY THE CONFUSION
COMES FROM JAPANESE TOILETS HAVING A LOT OF BUTTONS AND
EXTRA FEATURES.
AND THIS TRUE, TOURISTS WERE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHING AN ALARM
BUTTON THAT IS COMMON OVER THERE.
AND MY QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE THE JAPANESE EATING.
I'VE DONE SOME ALARMING THINGS ON THE TOILET BUT I HAVE NEVER
HAD TO HIT AN ACTUAL ALARM.
LIKE HOW COMPLICATED COULD THIS BE?
LIKE I BETTED I COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT THESE BUTTONS MEAN.
LETS' TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE BUTTONS. SO THERE IS IS THIS ONE.
AND IF YOU PUSH IT IT SHOOTS A STREAM OF PING PONG BALLS INTO
YOUR BUTT.
LET'S SEE THE NEXT ONE.
OKAY.
THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE I HURRICANE SO CLEARLY, IT IS FOR WHEN YOU
HAVE A MOVEMENT SO BIG THE GOVERNMENT HAS TO GIVE IT A
NAME.
AND FINALLY, FINALLY FINALLY THIS ONE IS FOR WHEN YOUR WASTE
COMES OUT IN PERFECT CUBES.
THANKS, GUYS, THAT IS OUR SHOW.
GOOD NIGHT. WE'LL SEE YOU.