- Hello, I'm Dr. Ruth Westheimer
I'm at BuzzFeed, and guess what,
I will answer your questions on sex,
on relationships, and on dating.
So let me hear some of your concerns.
(lively music)
- Hi, Dr. Ruth, my name's Morgan,
and I have a question for you.
- Okay, only one question? - Only one.
- All right, let's hear.
- Okay, so typically women talk about using vibrators
on themselves, but if I wanted to use it with a partner,
what's the most stimulating part on a male's anatomy?
- Men, I don't know any men who like the vibrator.
- No, not only any part of their body?
- No, maybe on the back.
- On the back, okay. - Yes,
maybe when they are a little uptight.
- Okay, like a massage.
- Maybe, like a massage.
- Okay. - Exactly.
- Okay. - But not on the penis
or the testicles. - Okay. (laughing)
- I do know that women do like vibrators,
however, you have to tell everybody on BuzzFeed,
for a women never to get used to a vibrator giving
her an orgasm. - Okay.
- Because, otherwise, even when she has the best partner,
it's not going to work.
So what she has to do is to use the vibrator
until she's at the height of arousal,
and then put it aside and let him stimulate her clitoris
to orgasm. - Okay.
- Okay? - Yes!
- Good advice? - Yes.
- Okay.
- I really thought the testicles would be--
- No, nope. - Nope, not good?
- Okay, next. - Okay! (laughing)
- Next question.
- Hi there, nice to meet you.
I'm JJ. - Hi, good to meet you.
- In your experience, do open or semi-open relationships
typically work? - JJ?
- Yes. - Loud and clear.
- Okay. - I'm old fashioned.
I'm a square and open relationships do not work.
I'm not saying that there's maybe somebody in Alaska,
who knows where, that might have an open relationship,
but I want to tell you something else, JJ.
Open relationships are not only dangerous
because of sexually transmitted diseases,
because if you sleep with one, you're going to sleep,
tomorrow night, with somebody else,
but it's also not satisfying in terms of a relationship
because then you'll just go from one, like a butterfly,
you go from one person to another,
not a good idea for a good, solid relationship
to build on and to have for life.
Okay? - Okay.
- You're gonna let me know if it works?
- I will. - No open relationship!
- Okay.
- Hey, Dr. Ruth, I am Clark, and I got a question for you.
- Go ahead.
- So I just turned 29 years old and I know,
as men get older, their testosterone levels drop,
their sex drive drops,
and I haven't been super sexually active in my 20s.
So I'm wondering, is it a use it or lose it kind
of situation or do I still have promise for my drive
and all of that?
- First of all, the actual drop of testosterone,
you don't have to worry yet.
That's much later.
Stop worrying about it. - Okay.
- However, I want to see you in a relationship.
I don't want you to hop from one person to the next
because it's not satisfying.
You need somebody who is there for you
and you are there for whoever it is.
So stop worrying about how long you are
going to have testosterone.
You have a long time. - Okay.
- Go out right now and find a relationship.
- Right now? - And then, you call me
and let me know that it worked.
- Okay. - Awesome.
- Thank you, good bye.
- How are you? - I'm very good.
Do you have a question?
- Yes, I do have a question. - Okay.
- I have a whole bunch, but--
- Okay, take one. - I'll take one.
- All right. - So my question is
can you masturbate too much?
Can you ever masturbate to the point where--
- As long as you also keep your job,
(laughing)
as long as you take your partner out for dinner--
- Yeah. - As long as you go
to the movie and see ask Dr. Ruth from Hulu,
there is no question of how long, how much.
- Okay. - However, people should
use a little bit of their brain.
- Yeah. - Because if they masturbate
every day, they don't have the desire and the drive
to make a relationship. - Right.
- Because then, they are satisfied, they masturbated,
they thought of some fantasy about your co-worker.
Don't tell. - Mm-mm.
- All right. - Mm-mm.
- But, so keep it under control.
- Okay. - But go out
and make sure that you start a relationship
that you know somebody is there for you
and that you are there for him or her.
- Okay. - Okay.
- So don't fall asleep right after?
- Definitely not. - Okay.
- Right after, very important,
a woman right after the orgasmic response,
needs to be touched and hugged and kissed.
- Okay. - And I tell you something,
that already provides the arousal
for the next sexual encounter.
- Hmm. - So, no man should just
turn around and go to sleep and snore.
Not good. - Okay.
- Not a good idea. - Okay.
- Thank you. - So I should cuddle,
cuddle. - Cuddle.
- Okay. - A long time
and it's already the arousal phase
of the next sexual encounter.
- Ahh. - You like it?
- The more you know-- - Okay.
- All right, thank you. - Thank you.
- Hi Alison. - Hi.
- How are you? - My question is
regarding sexual peaks and the difference
between a man's sexual peak and a women's sexual peak.
- Come here, I'll tell you something.
Stop worrying about that.
Now, I'm not saying that an older man can
have one ejaculation after the other.
An older man, once he ejaculates,
he needs some time for the next erection to occur.
I'm not saying that a woman at the age of maybe 50
can have the same intensity in her orgasm,
but stop worrying about it.
First of all, you're young.
Right now, I hope you are cultivating a relationship.
And stop worrying about
how long it will last,
just enjoy it.
Thank you. - Thank you.
- Thank you, Alison.
Bye bye.
Hello, I'm Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
That was fun on BuzzFeed.
And I also would like all of you to watch the movie
on Hulu after June 1st and the movie is called
Ask Dr. Ruth and I promise you that you are going
to laugh and you are going to cry.
Make sure that you all watch it and you
let BuzzFeed know what you thought.
And then they'll call me and then they will let me know.
Bye bye.
I'm Dr. Ruth Westheimer, nice talking to you.
(lively music)