And so, when they come across that man
and come across that man that
they perceive because that the key here.
It's not about whether you're actually perfect
or... Because no one is perfect.
No one is perfect we all have flaws,
we all have issues,
but her perception of you is so high,
is so great
that, that becomes very overwhelming to her.
(Music)
Hey, what's up everybody?
This is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks,
here with another
dating and relationship advice video.
Today, I'm talking to the men
of course, the women are welcome to listen,
but to the men we're going to be
talking about this phenomenon.
Maybe not a phenomenon,
but this common occurrence of
she thinks you're too good
to be true, all right.
Now, before I start as always be sure to
like this video,
share this video,
subscribe to this channel,
and comment below
on if you've experienced this,
you know I'm saying what are your thoughts on this?
Give me your feedback, let's talk about it.
So, she thinks you're too good to be true.
Now, I want the man to understand, listen,
many of you have had situations
where you really
put your best foot forward,
you were being the man who needed to be,
you've thought everything was going great
and this girl ran.
She ran from the situation,
she self-sabotaged,
and there was a problem.
Now,
there can be various reasons why that happens,
but some of you have either been told
or maybe you haven't been told.
But it exists where
she had an occurrence where she felt like
you were too good to be true
and so the reason why this happens
with a lot of women is,
because so many have been programmed
and conditioned to believe
that good men don't exist
or that this amazing man,
he is just not a reality.
He's a dream, he's a unicorn, all right.
And so, when they come across that man
and come across that man that
they perceive because that's the key here,
it is not about whether you're actually perfect
or because no one is perfect,
no one is perfect we all have flaws,
we all have issues,
but her perception of you is so high,
is so great
that, that becomes very
overwhelming to her, all right.
And now she thinks to herself,
this can't be real
something must be wrong here.
As she starts to try to look
for things to be wrong
or create things to be wrong
even do things in the relationship
or dating situation
to get you to react
or to show, to get you to show her
something that will validate
her negative perception, all right.
And it's a very unfortunate situation to deal with.
Now, real quick let me mention
I don't want every man to assume
that every woman that lets you go
thought you were too good to be true,
you got to be real with yourself.
You know if you weren't
bringing your best self to the table
and some situations are just
she wasn't feeling you,
you guys didn't have a connection
and that's normal, that's healthy,
that's fine, it happens, all right.
But in this specific
dynamics that I'm talking about
yes, there are women
who think to themselves
this can't be real,
he's too good to be true.
Now, for the men,
I want you to understand that
if you come across this, all right.
Don't get into the mindset of thinking
well, let me show you
even more how good I am.
And here is what I mean by that,
it's not that I don't want you
to still be a great man,
it's not that I don't want you to put your best foot forward.
It's that if you think
trying to be even more perfect
it's going to get her to believe
how good and real you are,
you're absolutely wrong.
If anything, it will scare
her away even more
that doesn't mean
be an a hole on purpose,
it doesn't mean start playing any games,
it doesn't mean lash out at her
or anything like that
or mistreat her.
I just want you to not get
caught up in the mind set of
I have to prove my worth
or prove to this woman
I'm as good as I had
shown her that I am.
If you've already
been doing your part
and putting your best foot forward.
If you have already been doing your part
and putting your best foot forward
then it is not for you
to have to try to do
more, is for her to address
the issues within herself.
If she thinks you're
too good to be true
and you're a genuinely good dude,
then that means
she either has some past trauma
she hasn't heal from,
she may have negative influences
in her life that's telling her
girl this can't be real,
he must be playing games,
he's putting up an act,
whatever, all right.
Or ultimately,
she has just gone through too much
and again, that just goes back to
she has things she needs to heal from.
And so, when you recognize that
again, don't get into the battle
of trying to prove yourself.
You can encourage her to listen,
I am who I am
and I'm going to consistently be this guy,
but if you can't believe that and embrace that
then the choice is either
you have to get help for it, through therapy.
And let me make this clear,
when you tell somebody else
to get therapy,
to see a counselor,
don't just make it about them.
If you really view that woman as
potential future in your life,
a woman that you can really spend your life with,
then I would encourage you to say
you know what, we can even do it at the same time
or even do some sessions together.
You want to be a part of her journey.
Not that you're going to heal her, all right.
Not that you have to drag her
to the finish line to be healed,
but when you show that you are
an encouraging partner willing to
participate in the process,
that's a very loving and empowering act, all right.
So, there's nothing wrong with that
but you cannot
get into the mind set of trying to
convince her that you are
as good as you are.
There is an issue within her
and you have to also understand that
do not lash out
or get upset with the woman
who thinks you're too good to be true.
Because now if you do,
you play right into her hands
of oh,
I knew there was something wrong with you,
I knew you weren't as good as you said you were
because now you're showing her
a negative side of you.
Don't give her that,
don't give her any ammunition
so to speak, all right.
If she is going to now act out
in unhealthy ways
trying to sabotage the situation
or trying to prove to herself
that you're not that great,
then you let her go.
It is not your responsibility
to have to fix this woman, all right.
It is not your responsibility
to have make her believe
you are a good man,
stand strong in who you are,
but hold her accountable
for her own issues, all right.
And so again, some of you might be thinking
does this really happen?
Yes, yes, it does.
I've had countless women
and let me tell you something again,
you all have to remember
I'm not just speaking
as just some random guy,
I’m speaking as a man who is a coach,
who has sat down with thousands of people,
who has read through thousands of emails,
who has seen thousands of situations, all right.
And I can tell you
plenty of women
have admitted to me,
have let it be known clearly
that yes they have had situations where they felt
the man was too good to be true.
And that it made them
feel too vulnerable,
too overwhelmed,
it scared the crap out of them
and they didn't know
what to do with themselves.
And yes, unfortunately,
some situations go left
and she completely runs away from it
and that's why it's important for you
to again not get into
the negative behaviors
I've seen so many others do
with lashing out
or even try... And though, trying to prove yourself
is not a negative behavior per se.
It's a behavior that doesn't actually
work in your favor, all right.
And so, this is not a long video
this is just something that I want to put out there
because there's someone
and it might be you
going through it
or you may go through it
and I want you to be aware of
these things before it happens.
And I want you to be calm
and poise and understand,
do not internalized her struggle
to believe you are the good man you are.
Do not get caught up
begging for her approval
and again, trying to prove to her
that you are as good as you are.
Just be you, stand strong in that,
be confident in that.
If she has to get some help for her issues
that is on her.
You can encourage her,
you can join in on the process
and help yourself as well
because we all have things
we can improve in our lives.
But do not, do not
allow it to damage you
and put you in a negative mindset
or discourage you
because if she's not the one
who can embrace you,
then another woman will come that can.
So, I hope and pray this was
a helpful video to you.
Again, leave your comments below,
like this video, share this video,
and I hope to see you in the next one.