Sensitive topic that no one wants you to talk about it.
How can we control lust in a college environment?
Things such as masturbation affects Sikhi and helps control lust.
Naam Simran- I try to do that, but I get overwhelmed.
Can't control it sometimes.
Is it an excuse, or is there an answer to this?
Ok, very simple point.
Kaam is a big problem, especially at this age.
Just understand that, it's just normal.
Yes, masturbation is not going to help that in the slightest.
It's like you want to get clean, so you throw mud all over yourself.
It's not going to help at all, is it?
Then just have to wash off more mud later on.
So the point of this is that you have to stop.
And you have to stop not just the physical action,
but the mental action as well.
It's not enough saying, "I don't want to do anything".
You know, sit on your hands or whatever.
No. It's not just that.
It's the actual physical action as well, right?
It's the thinking.
So what we've got to do is try to play some cognitive therapy with ourselves.
We've got as soon as that thought comes in, we got to flick it away.
Everybody gets to understand their triggers.
There's always a trigger for something.
You might be reading something, you seem to see a girl there.
Then the next minute you're on to something.
Then pretty soon, you're back to where you end up.
You have to control that cycle.
We have to break that cycle.
With anything like anger, alcohol, drinking, weed.
Whatever it is that you're trying to quit, there's going to be trigger points.
And you're going to give up the fight and end up at that place.
So you have to change the triggers or walk away.
You're going to have to stop it at the very beginning.
Zero tolerance kind of thing.
Stop at the very beginning, you can't allow yourself to go down that slope because it's slippery.
Yeah, it's not going to help you.
Ok
I get overwhelmed.
Here's the point.
You cannot get overwhelmed.
That's just people saying - giving up control.
It is a very famous experiment that took place in America.
They said everyone says "I'm drunk and can't control it."
But what happens when you put a gun on that person?
All these people are like "I'm so drunk, I'm so drunk"
Then the policeman goes, "Stop!"
They suddenly wake up, and they're not so drunk anymore.
Yeah.
There was another experiment they did in Turkey.
Every year the British would go over to Turkey.
They would get really drunk on beer and they would get into fights.
So one year the turkish government said, "Let's try something new".
They served non-alcoholic beer.
And guess what the English did?
They came over dragged non-alcoholic beer and got into fights.
And when they were like getting arrested and stuff they said "I'm so drunk."
They were like, "you're not drunk."
"No, no, I'll be drinking."
"It's non-alcoholic beer you've been drinking, my friend,"
and they suddenly sobered up.
Because they're not drunk.
So the thing is, we allow ourselves to lose control.
In between the thing that sparks it off
The thing that sparks it off and the action that we do, there's always a choice.
We allow ourselves to choose to do this.
So what you got to do is that little bit of choice that you have might be very small.
That maybe your reaction to action might be very small,
A stimulus response.
That might be almost immediate for you.
But yet you can introduce a pause.
You've got to grow that pause.
That's all it is.
And then take control.
Because you're a person, human being, you are in control.
Don't make yourself powerless and say, "I can't do it".
Insert control in there.
Understand that this is the game of life, that you have to control it so you stop.
Stimulus comes in and you don't act upon it.
You recognise the stimulus for what it is.
Hold the feeling and it will pass.
It's just game of trying, trying, trying.
Don't think.
Every single person fails.
The difference between a sinner and a saint is to keep on trying.
But distract yourself.
Try and find something else to do.