You're watching "Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood"...
"Check Yourself"...
Season five.
You'll be watching us...
...watch the show...
...for the very first time.
You'll be getting our natural and honest reactions.
We're watching it...
...with you.
The scene you're about to see is a whole bunch of fools
at high tea in London.
♪♪
You see me?!
Big bowl of just Thanksgiving all in one.
This is amazing--
Oh, hell!
What the (bleep)?
Hiding, yo!
What are you doing right now?
I'm living my best life.
In our tub?
She swears she living her best life.
They just don't give me no type of privacy.
Paris was so pissed, dawg. She was tight.
You guys trying to get it wrong. Y'all just busted in.
Your pajamas were hella cute though.
Thank you!
They were really cute.
I'm over here dressed like a background dancer.
But you look cute.
Where's all my food? All the (bleep) that I eat
and the only (bleep) that I eat
and the only (bleep) that I drink is gone.
Bitch, let me tell you something.
This is off the heels of me damn near dying
in the session with Brooke and Roccstar,
and I'm famished, bitch!
I'm not trying to die of famine in London.
I can't believe that Moniece was that pressed about the (bleep) cereal.
All day.
I ain't gon' lie. That cereal was good as hell
that Moniece mad about though.
Hey, La'Britney.
Oh!
Ooh, swing your hair then.
I see her! Yes! Yes!
Come on, Paris!
Yes, Paris!
Yo, I look like a pastor's wife.
Come to my church.
Look at this (bleep)!
Yeah, it look like we pulling up to my (bleep) friend crib.
Oh, I love the music.
♪♪
Look, look, look!
Oh, sandwiches!
Yes, the sandwiches have arrived!
Yo, I ain't gon' lie.
Them sandwiches was good as hell.
I was so hungry, I smashed.
(British accent) Good afternoon, sir.
Oh, look at all these fake... bitches.
I'm over it already.
On the bottom layer, pastries, and above it, sandwiches.
Now, the sandwiches were invented by Lord Sandwich.
Ain't no (bleep) named Lord Sandwich invent a sandwich.
(British accent) The sandwich was invented by Lord Sandwich.
(normal voice) Pipe down, sir. No, it was not.
Oh, you guys, isn't this fun?
Can we get Moniece a bowl of her cereal and some (bleep), please?
That's all she wants.
Thanks. Thanks.
Paris came, what, with the church hat.
I came sophisticated.
Is everything okay, sis?
Stop worrying about me, 'cause I'm prepared.
A lot of tea was spilled at that table, honey.
The next scene you're about to see is our future president, Pam Bentley.
Pam Bentley, it's "The Pam Bentley Show."
Next scene you're about to see is "Pam Bentley Show."
Girl, I'm so happy to finally have some mommy-daughter time.
Bonding time. Look at them.
I feel you, Mama Lyrica.
♪♪
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Turned up. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
(bleep). Not today, Lyrica.
Why do you guys do these-- these-- these--
'Cause y'all gon' get along today, damn it!
We got this beautiful view.
Yeah.
Sand, water.
It's what Cali is known for, hunty-- the beach.
First of all, she needs to apologize!
And see? Hold on! There we go again, using that finger!
Put the finger down!
Pam and Lyrica G. both gotta chill out
with the finger pointing, you feel me?
'Cause that can get a little disrespectful.
Oh, come-- when have they ever got along?
♪♪
I think we should talk.
This whole thing started because of that bitch-ass K. Michelle.
Y'all need to jump K. Michelle!
Damn!
Why you gotta go in on K.?
She started it, but your daughter
was the reason why this whole situation happened
when she started messing around with Safaree.
Messing around with Safaree.
Safaree!
Don't always be so quick to jump on A1, my son.
I said to your son, "This is your wife.
"She's at my house. She's sad, she's crying.
You should come and see about your wife."
That's what any woman would say.
You better say that, LG.
I feel you, Mama Lyrica.
Now, can I have the last word?
Yeah.
Let me see how long that's gon' last.
One, two, three, four, five, six...
Well, damn. Okay, that's a start.
And you know what?
I like you, and that's why we get along.
Brooke, I like you. That's why we get along.
Only took but, you know, a countdown from three.
They were beefing, she counted six seconds, and then she liked her.
What the (bleep)?
Let me go get my lime and my lime squeezer
and my tequila and my cooler, bitch,
and my beach chair, and let me just strut my stuff.
I don't know how to open this dad-gum thing.
Okay.
Aww!
Y'all couldn't give Mama Pam a sarong?
Sexy time!
Y'all couldn't give Pam a sarong?
Well, Pam said, "Let me show you what it do."
(pops mouth)
Y'all did not come to play today.
Got the legs out.
I got a surprise for you, PM.
Uh-oh.
Oh, it's the ultrasound.
Aww!
Were you there?
Yeah.
How come I wasn't invited?
Oh, (bleep). Oh, (bleep).
Oh, God (bleep).
Oh, my God.
It's over--
So it makes me feel like I'm an outsider.
I'm sorry you feel that way, and I would feel the same way.
Oh, no, they didn't invite Pam?
That's hurtful. That's hurtful.
That's hurtful.
That's not right!
I'm with Pam.
Now, what about this?
What about, I want to have a DNA?
How would you feel about that?
Oh! Whoa!
Wait! What?!
Damn! I thought they was on the right track.
We came out here to enjoy ourselves...
I know.
...to have a glass of wine.
I mean, y'all don't need no wine.
What?
Y'all don't need no wine in this moment.
You are being very offensive to even bring something--
Well--
It's saying to me that you believe
that my daughter cheated on your son.
No, I don't believe, but I really wanna know
if it's really my son's baby.
(all laughing)
"I don't really believe..."
"I don't really believe that she cheated..."
That she cheated.
"I just wanna know if it's my son's baby."
"I just don't believe it's my son's baby."
You're really about to piss me off.
Yeah?
You really are. I need you to--
Yeah?
Well, I can get pissed off too, God damn it!
Oh, (bleep)!
No!
That's not what the chair is for.
It's for porches and beers.
First of all, three seconds ago,
she did not know how to open that chair.
No!
Look at Pam's booty! (laughing)
Bro, this the funniest (bleep) ever.
Drag your mother(bleep) ass in that water!
Let me go! I'ma get her!
She's a linebacker.
(both laughing)
This ain't funny. Stop laughing, Bridget.
This ain't right.
I'm not trying to laugh at nobody's mama,
but, bitch, this is the most epic fight
in all of "Love & Hip Hop" history.