Welcome to Crunchyroll's first ever
*deep voice* ANIME AWARDS
So it looks like Crunchyroll are hosting an anime awards and
This is actually a fun little idea you know
Cause here in the west we don't have anything close to an official awards ceremony, so
You know it won't be 100% accurate but it'll be fun
And you see that's what the anime awards are all about
It's not about who won or lost
It's about a group of anime fans coming together
To celebrate everything they enjoy-
OH WHAT THE FUCK!? THIS IS BULLSHIT!
WHO THE?... WHO THE FUCK LET THIS TRAVESTY HAPPEN?
(Music Plays)
Alright chaps, and welcome to the 2016 Crunchyroll Anime Awards
(cheering)
Alright calm.... ca-calm down guys
We start off this year with the Best Girl category and, I really have no idea who is gonna win this
And lets see who won... OH IT WAS REM!
REM WON BEST GIRL OF THE YEAR EVERYONE!
(Clapping) wow! oh my god! wow! (no one saw it coming)
Shut up guys...
I think this time we can actually get a few words from our winner though
Hi I'm here with the winner of this year's award for best girl ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
And I'm sure she's gonna be very excited to accept this award
So miss. how do you feel about winning THIS YEAR'S AWARD FOR BEST GIRL!?
Uhmm...
I didn't win best girl, Rem won best girl...
WHO?
-And of course the Best Animation award goes to...
Yuri!! On Ice!!
WHOO!
OH! OH MY GOSH OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Hilarious!
(clapping)
Wait, this is for real!?
Drama of the Year this year goes over to ERASED!
It's ok Rakugo fans... That's the corner to cry in!
And Best Boy goes to...
Yuri Katsuki from Yuri!!!! On Ice
yay... ok
Best couple goes to....
Yuri and Victor, from Yuri on...
Ho-Hold on a second
ARE ALL THESE FUCKING CATEOGRIES GOING TO BE YURI ON ICE!?
Yeah... did you not get the memo?
How- how the fuck did this happen?
(*Cancerous fan girl screaming)
Im gay...
(kill me)
Most heart-warming scene...
Yuri!!! On Ice!!!
Best opening!
Yuri!! On Ice!!!
Best ending!
Yuri!! On Ice!!!
But why stop there guys?
Best man service... Yuri!! On Ice!!!
Most dicks sucked in an anime....
Yuri!! On Ice!!!
Best pork bowl cutlet...
Yuri!! On Ice!!!
Best Yuri!! On Ice!!!....
Y̶u̶r̶i̶!̶!̶ ̶O̶n̶ ̶I̶c̶e̶!̶!̶!̶ FREE! ETERNAL SUMMER!!
Actually I thought Yuri!! On Ice deserved all those awards...
Alright, You can go fuck yourself
And I think now will be a good time to see how the rest of the community are taking this.
*Raging intensifies
Hey you know, at least a few of the awards given were actually deserved
I mean Deku won best hero
Mob Psycho got best action and best fight scene.
and yes the best comedy of this year deservedly went to the Crunchyroll Anime Awards.
*Laughing
But the we get the villain of the year which is of course going to be Kira from JoJo's
I mean there is literally no better choice this year than Kira from JoJo's
I mean like... (*Silence)
*Sigh
Can we- can we cut to commercial break
Cut- cut to commercial
CUT TO COMMERCIAL FUCKING BREAK!
*BEEP
(80's commercial music starts playing)
Lawry's seasoned SALT
NOT GOING BACK OUT THERE
ARE YOU SEEING THIS!?
I DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE WHO WATCH ANIME WERE A BUNCH OF BRAIN DEAD MONKEYS WITHOUT EYES!
AND WHOSE GREAT IDEA WAS IT TO LET FUJOSHIS VOTE!?
Stand aside solar and wind
could SALT be the amazing energy source of the future
Salt, tears of the earth
*BEEP
Alright I'm back guys, I'm back
We don't have much long today but before i leave you all do you want to hear a joke?
Your taste in anime.
*Laughing and applause* Thank you very much I will see you all next year!
*LONGER BEEP
Alright Crunchyroll let's have a little serious talk about these awards.
I can see what you were going for
And these awards did seem like a fun little idea if done correctly (agreed)
But there was always going to be a problem hosting an award show
designed to showcase the best of anime coming out of the previous year.
Decided entirely by popular vote
And boy did that problem rear its head in these results
Even the nomination system you had before
With your judges submitting blind nominations
Was always going to skew nominations towards popularity before voting had even begun
And as much as there were some unexpected nominations
And well... weird nominations
The vast pool of anime last year were definitely not represented
Personally I do not think a popular vote should be the entire basis of an award ceremony like this
I think alot of us who have watched more anime than Yuri on ice last year
Can safely say that most these winners are not the best thing to come out of their categories
but instead are just the most popular shows in their respective categories.
There is alot of potential here
And i hope there is a better system next year.
And hey my door are always open, just saying.
But enough of the negative
To offset all the salt that's being thrown around
I taught i'd host my own anime awards
That i hope everyone will be able to agree with
*music play*
Hero of the year...
Whoever had legendary Oscar winning actor Syrian Mckellen in an interview room
And was just like, "here can you read out this weeb shit please?"
Villan of the year...
Donald J. Trump
Best fight scene...
/r/anime vs their own mods when shelter got taken down
Most heartwarming scene...
Madhouse breaking their curse and announcing One Punch Man season 2
Best couple...
Crunchyroll x Funimation
The match made in heaven
Best boy...
yet another JoJo's reference that came out last year.
Best girl...
There was only ever going to be one
Best comedy...
Malik Obama's twitter page
Best animation...
This really realistic volleyball scene from Haikyuu's olympic's arc
Drama of the year...
The rise and fall of Leafyishere
Best opening...
The glory gospels singing the Evangelion theme
Best ending...
The brexit results
And anime of the year undoubtedly goes to...
2016 itself for being by far the most entertaining thing to come out in decades
And that was it for the Gigguk anime awards of 2016
But for real tho, i don't why people are getting so riled up at Crunchyroll for the anime award results
If anything it's just proven something that we've all known for a very long time
That everyone but you....
Has shit taste
*Outro music plays