You would think I would've done this a while ago,
but I haven't.
So welcome to r/gaming.
*reading*
And it's a gaming subreddit that I haven't done yet.
Oh well.
This was a year ago:
*reading*
Is that true?
*reading*
*reading, laughing*
*exasperated groan*
Personally, I have nothing against EA,
but it's a very EA thing to hear about.
*reading*
*Mini laughs as he realizes the man's ingenuity*
*one clap*
That's smart, though!
If you can't afford, like, a crazy – you know –
gaming bucket chair that people really like nowadays for some weird reason,
that is smart!
Just get a PNG picture of it and cut it out,
so you 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 like you have one.
*solid two claps*
But instead, you just have back problems. That's it.
I went through my gaming chair phase,
and now I just have a bad back. *chuckle*
So now, I've got this guy:
INVESTMENTS
Ty, can you blur my feet, 'cause people really hate feet.
*reading*
*epic music, as Mini tries to figure out what's going on*
*gasps*
*burst of laughter*
*clap, clap, clap*
The classic no-look-bird-kill technique.
Gets 'em every time.
*while laughing* That's just brilliant.
*laughs again*
You can't plan for this stuff.
Regardless if you're a YouTuber, Twitch streamer –
you know what, it doesn't matter if you're there or not –
just record when you game!
So that, when something crazy happens,
you can upload it to the internet for fake internet points? (yeah, that's a thing, Mini)
If that – I mean, I-I'm really not selling this well (yeah, not really)
Nope.
*reading*
This is true.
I think I actually uploaded a clip of this whenever I did the sponsor deal for South Park back in the day.
Past Mini ~ I-Is this...? Oh my f-. Wait.
You get darker, it gets diffi-
Game!
South Park, what are you doing???
*while laughing in disbelief* This is so wrong!
The whiter you are, the easier you are? (not your best sentence, tbh Mini xD)
Are you ****ing serious, game?
That is ****ing, um...
I guess I'll just go with this one. Yeah, sure.
South Park, oh my God.
Present Mini ~ I love how, for a sponsor deal,
they like to keep things clean:
"our company is very safe and friendly,
and pampers and children stuff."
But South Park's like, "nah, you black, it's pretty difficult.
It's pretty difficult."
The weirdest brand deal I've done
because I literally had free range to do 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.
As a side note, not sponsored anymore.
The game's actually a lot of fun.
*reading*
*cringing pain as Mini realizes sad reality*
Too real, ok?
The good old days, when you go onto forums, or, you know, what you do is
you take a printer, and you print it out – this person drew it out – I printed it out,
and then you can go and just have fun from there.
Nowadays, yeah y-you buy them.
*cringing*
I'm gonna move on, that left a bad taste in my mouth.
It's true. Too true.
*reading*
I'm a massive VR guy, so let's have a look.
Is this blackjack?
*realizes he needs to stop the demonetization* Woah, woah, woah, woah, wait...
Wait.
*gasps* Oh man! *bursts out laughing*
I can't lie.
I though you was just going:
*motorboat sounds*
I can't – I thought you was going straight motorboat.
*while laughing* I love how the developers didn't think of this.
You make a blackjack game in VR,
and you 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 cover it up?
*reading*
Oh, he grew up!
*epic music, clapping* Ah, this is a better story than most. Oh.
A real tearjerker, real heartwarming, you know?
*Russian accent? (idk)* 𝘏𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯. 𝘖𝘩, 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦.
Wait, this is Minecraft?
*reading*
Oh, and once you zoom in, yeah.
You're not kidding.
From the outside, it just looks like a render of, like, a new video game coming out or something like that.
And then, once you really get into it... oh hell no *in disbelief*
They even went to the extent of putting dirt on the rail line. Oh man *still in disbelief*
You spent 8 months building a run-down city.
That is ridiculous.
More than anything, you can just appreciate it and respect it.
*reading*
Oh yeah. Is this the Diablo release?
For those of you that haven't seen this, I'm pretty this is like: Diablo made a mobile game
when everyone was waiting for a Diablo 4, or something like that.
They made a mobile game and everyone was p***ed.
Let's have a look.
Question-asker ~ Is there any plans to make this playable on PC, or is this strictly mobile, forever?
Wyatt Cheng (from Blizzard) ~ Are there any... uh... yeah, th-this – the current plan is to be on mobile.
Both, uh, Android and iOS. *while Mini's cringing* Uh, we don't have any plans at the moment to do, uh, PC.
*loud boos from the audience* (WC's look of shock at the end lol)
WC ~ Do you guys not have phones? Someone else ~ Yeah, you guys all have phones.
Mini ~ *imitating WC* "Do you guys not have phones??"
Oh, that's such a bad response *laughs/cringes*
I feel like I may have seen this before and then just forgot about it.
*dumb voice, imitating WC* "Do yOu gUyS NoT hAve pHonEs??"
*cringing* oh, what a bad response.
*as Blizzard* "Hey guys, thanks for coming to our panel, I see you 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 like Diablo.
Do you not have phones, huh? You poor plebs, huh?"
*laughing in pain* That's the worst thing you could've said, man.
The one that gets me as well is that, yeah, there's no plans on coming to PC,
look how shocked he looks. Wait. (ikr??)
Look, look at that face.
The game's been primarily PC, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳.
All of a sudden, everyone's waiting for a brand new Diablo,
you release a phone game,
*imitating WC* "WhHhAaAaaTt?
*laughs*
PeOpLe aRe uPsEr aT me?? dO YoU nOT hAve pHOneS???
So wE cAN rIdDLe yOU of yOur MoNey??"
Like before, 'Cheat codes nowadays': just give your card. Here.
Just take – take it. Just take – take it all, please.
*dumb voice* "Do yOU nOt SeE I'm tRyINg to tAke yoUR mOnEY??"
Ahhh, just, ahhh *exasperated groan*
*EXASPERATED GROAN #2*
*reading*
That is 𝘴𝘰 British, I love it so much.
To be fair, Sami and I are both just anti-social, awkward beans.
We're just smol, ok?
So everytime we order Postmates or UberEats or something like that,
we do rock-paper-scissors, best of 3 everytime,
whoever loses has to go *while laughing* talk to the person at the door.
So I related to this whole-heartedly.
*reading*
Well, I can see rock-paper-scissors going on for the rest of time. Sick!
*reading*
I've seen this.
Can someone just point me in the direction of how I can go do this?
Because if I'm in the area where that is, I will go and record this for a video.
I just need to know where it is.
Someone help me. Nintendo, if you're watching, hook me up, ok?
Just put it in my living room.
Actually, I say it's, like, my living room. Put it in my office.
And we can work something out. It's E3 season, let's make it work.
*reading*
*cringe #36 today*
Oh, God.
We've taken $110 from you, and that's just to get the season pass?
*cash register sound* To buy the game is $60.
To complete the season pass is $50. *cash register*
That's $110. Then, to complete the season pass, you either complete it or you're gonna buy it.
Chances are, you're gonna buy a few, so let's add another $20 on to that *cash register #3*
It's won $130 at this point.
And 𝘯𝘰𝘸 you're adding loot boxes on top of that?
You've already spent A HUNDRED THIRTY DOLLARS ON YOUR GAME!
Millions of people are playing. Y'all need to milk us more?
Huh?
This is udder-ly (utterly) disgracef- *BAD-UM-TSSS*
*cringes while realizing the atrocity he's made* Ooh, that was a bad one. Ah. Do I take it back?
Nah, nah, nah.
At this point, just riddle me clean.
I literally only have a $5 note, that's –
What's it like to be a gamer? Huh. Well, let me tell you, little Johnny.
First, to be a gamer, you need to make over $100,000 a year to really get into it.
After that –
Ooh, nope.
Nooope. It's like, w-what do you call *gibberish*
I think it – 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘩.
Ty, put a picture of this realistic, you know, recreation. Or, you know, the image of this recreation.
And then an anglerfish.
Ok?
These are the terrifying guys you see in the Nemo films.
And you're gonna try and make it like 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 ?
No.
"Make Chain Chomp cute again." Ok?
That's a quote I can get behind.
He deserves better, ok? *claps to get his point across*
He just wants to eat, ok? *claps #2*
*claps #3* He just wants to get that bread, ok? He just want that monch, ok?
If you've been on Reddit, and you scroll down Reddit,
you'll just get plastered in the face with promotional deals or commericals, whatever.
*while laughing* This one's just funny as hell.
I'm not gonna include who it's from, but
*reading*
And they have a picture of, like,
$50 million yachts, ok?
There's 𝘯𝘰 -𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘕𝘖 -𝘖𝘕𝘌 that has $50 million in their retirement fund.
Also, it continues:
*reading while laughing: "If have a $500,000 portfolio" *
Look, we're on r/gaming. As I said before, we've already thrown all of our money away at greedy developers, ok?
We're out here just trying to 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦 at this point.
*reading*
He just looks like he needs a hug on the right.
He looks focused. Determined. There's a glint in his eye. And the guy on the right,
*sad music and rain* he just look like he needs a hug, ok? (press f in the comments for Tony Hawk)
Can someone go hug Tony Hawk for us, please?
That's it. That's all I want. Give him a hug.
Put, like, a big ol' smile on his face, and we'll get on with our lives.
*chuckle* *reading while laughing*
Ok, the first thing I see is: why have you plastered your sceen with [Star Wars] Battlefront 2?
Second thing:
EA representative *deep voice* ~ Uh, may I know the reason for the cancellation?
Reddit commentor ~ I'm sure you've heard. Same reason as all the others.
Mini ~ Response?
"Right." *Mini xDDD*
*reading*
Now, I don't know when my Minecraft VR video is coming out,
but I hope it comes out [like]:
Minecraft VR video comes out, and then I have this video, 'cause I make the joke in this.
Past Mini ~ Welcome back to Wii Tennis. (GO WATCH THE VIDEO #shamelessplug)
*Minecraft zombie growling noises* Uh, just get on the floor, and just do this. *relaxing sigh*
*zombie growling and dying noises*
Wii Tennis, ladies and gentlemen *chuckles*
Present Mini ~ Killing zombies in Minecraft VR is exactly the same as Wii Tennis.
In the commercials, it's like: *weirdly imitating Wii characters* yeahhh, uhhh.
In real life, you sit on the couch with a beer in one hand, (nice impression of sitting on a couch, btw)
you've got Cheetos in your belly button, and you're just flinging it.
Fling it however you want, 'kay? This is the Wii Tennis dream, ladies and gentlemen.
*reading*
*basful gasp/voice* Meeee???
*laughs*
It's literally just 2 words at the end of the credits.
But I'm 100% with you on this, like, *bashful gasp/voice* you! *laughs*
Thank you for spending the last 2 years to make my 8 hours worth it. Bless!
*reading*
Again, I'm gonna have to zoom in, bud.
Yep, still not buying it.
Ooh, I'm buying it all of a sudden. This is even better than the other one. And the other one was good!
Is this what people do with their lives? Because, honestly, I'm down for it, this is incredible.
Sweet mother of God. I'm just impressed, honestly.
*reading*
Oh, you beautiful– *chuckles* run, T-post man!
Is that the T-post version of the T-rex? *hysterical laughter*
The swimming... of the driver in the boat!(?) (idk, I did my best to subtitle) *laughs again*
*reading*
Exactly!
He can't even– he doesn't even T-pose like this. He just T-poses forward and tries. *chuckle*
*reading*
If she complains [about] what it is, just say it's a beautiful painting of a cat.
It's technically not right, in both perspectives.
But you can still get away with that one. You can still get away with that one.
'Cause if you tell that to someone who's playing CS[Go], they're like, "no. But, yeah, we'll let you have it." *laughs*
*reading*
I'm down for it. I'm okay with it.
That man has better – how do I say it without getting demonitized? – um
female... *sounds of mic vibrations as Mini hits the stand* Ow!
Female... you know... than most people.
Can I say... chest? Female chest? Is that gonna get me demonetized, YouTube? 'Kay?
*drumroll* YouTube, are we doing good?
*party blower sound, Mini claps* Yeah! Okay, we're in business.
This is gonna be funny when the video gets demonetized and that joke is pointless.
*reading*
It's clear whoever made this has not done it before.
This is the walk of a proud person, okay?
Every time you do it, for the rest of the day, you strut. That's it.
That's just– it's a known fact, okay?
Because there's days when you just sit there – you could be in a meeting, you could be anywhere –
and you just sit there, nothing's really on your mind. But you think to yourself, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺.
And you look on into the sunset with a smile on your face and no-one knows why. 'Cause you did it.
*epic celebration music, while Mini applauds you* You did it. You did the 𝘥𝘰, 'kay?
Be proud of that.
Doesn't matter who it's with, you did it. Okay? You did it.
Unless it's a h***** body pillow (idk if I needed to censor that, but just in case)
*epic celebration music, Mini applauds* in which case, be 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 proud of that, hell yeah!
*reading*
So, the first photo looks fine. Maybe the pigeons are little bit off.
*while laughing* But then look at the second one! *hysterical laughter*
*clap, clap, clap*
Do I blame the developers? Of course not.
But *while laughing* it's so subtle. *continuing to laugh*
To be fair, that's actually a good point.
*reading*
That's a 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 good point.
It's just waiting for not-living. 'Cause I don't know if I can say the d-word anymore.
I'm trying to see how far I can go without swearing, to see.
The only thing is, YouTube told me that, "hey, we know you don't swear anymore, but we still categorize you as –
you know the people who, like, swear 30, 40 times in their videos? –
we still see you in the same group as those people."
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm gonna continue to not swear for a little bit, just to see if I can do 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 at this point.
But, if they're telling me that I'm in the same wavelength as people who, you know, swear 30, 40 times –
they get monetized, I don't – I'm at a crossroads. YouTube hates me.
Trying, I'm really really trying. But *stutters* I don't know anymore. *bangs desk*
*reading*
I think we're gonna end it with PS1 Hagrid. If you feel like PS1 Hagrid, leave a big ol' like [on] the video.
If you wanna watch more videos, there's 2 more videos down here. There's a big old sub button down here.
Beautiful fan art over here. Um, Hagrid, you just, just go take care of yourself.
If you don't wanna stick around, there should be another video coming in the playlist right after this.
If not, I'll see you all tomorrow. You take it easy, now. Please like and subscribe and follow me on stuff and
give my life sustenance and click the bell button because I– *stutters* thank you I love you *kisses*