>>>
>>> GOOD
>>> GOOD MORNING. WELCOME TO "GREAT DAY HOUSTON."
I'M CRISTINA KOOKER.
I'LL BE YOUR HOST FOR TODAY'S
SHOW.
SHOW.
SHOW. DEBORAH IS ON ASSIGNMENT.
SHE'LL BE BACK ON MONDAY.
I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE WITH YOU
TODAY.
TODAY.
TODAY. WE
TODAY. WE START WITH TWO LEADERS IN
OUR COMMUNITY WHO WANT YOUR
RELATIONSHIP TO BE THE BEST IT
CAN BE.
CAN BE.
CAN BE. THEY KNOW HOW TO PUT THE SPARK
BACK IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND KEEP
IT THAT WAY.
CLAYTON AND ASHLEY HURST ARE
THE DIRECTORS OF MARRIAGE AND
PARENTING AT LAKE WOOD CHURCH.
CLAYTON AND ASHLEY ARE WITH US
TODAY.
TODAY.
TODAY. AS
TODAY. AS I JUST SAID, YOUR THE
DIRECTORS OF MARRIAGE AND
PARENTING.
PARENTING. YOU HAVE SOME REALLY GOOD
BRAGGING RIGHTS.
BRAGGING RIGHTS. THAT'S THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
MARRIED 22 YEARS.
YOU HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
YOU ARE HERE TO TELL US THAT IT
IS NOT ALL ROSE PETALS.
>> THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT IT
WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.
WE BOTH COME FROM GOOD
FAMILIES.
FAMILIES.
FAMILIES. CLAYTON'S PARENTS HAVE BEEN
MARRIED OVER 50 YEARS.
MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN MARRIED 50
YEARS.
YEARS.
YEARS. WE
YEARS. WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASY.
WE'LL BE FINE.
AND WE WEREN'T.
IT STARTED OUT WITH FUNNY
THINGS THAT WE THOUGHT WERE
COMICAL LIKE I THOUGHT SHE
WOULD BE ABLE TO COOK BUT SHE
CAN'T.
CAN'T.
CAN'T. BUT THEN IT ENDED UP BEING BAD
COMMUNICATION AND HURT
FEELINGS.
FEELINGS.
FEELINGS. WE WOULD SAY THINGS TO EACH
OTHER THAT WERE HURTFUL.
FIVE YEARS IN WE FOUND
OURSELVES IN A VALLEY OF
HOPELESSNESS.
HOPELESSNESS. WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
WE WERE EMBARRASSED TO TELL
ANYONE.
ANYONE.
ANYONE. CLAYTON WAS A PASTOR AT OUR
HOME CHURCH.
HOME CHURCH. WE WERE SO EMBARRASSED TO TALK
TO ANYONE.
TO ANYONE. WE PUT ON A MASK AND PRETENDED
EVERYTHING WAS FINE.
WE WERE GOOD.
WE WOULD COME HOME AND IT WAS
LIKE WE WERE ROOMMATES INSTEAD
OF MARRIES TO EACH OTHER.
IT WAS PAINFUL.
I WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST
CHILD.
CHILD.
CHILD. IT
CHILD. IT WAS THE MAKINGS OF A
COMPLETE DISASTER.
COMPLETE DISASTER. WE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN.
THANKFULLY OUR FAITH HELPED US.
GOD REALLY SPOKE TO HIS HEART
AND HE CAME HOME AND APOLOGIZED
AND WE APOLOGIZED AND WE
STARTED THE SLOW PROCESS OF
WORKING IT THROUGH.
MARRIAGE IS SO HARD.
THERE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE
CHALLENGES, REGARDLESS OF HOW
MANY YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN
MARRIED.
MARRIED.
MARRIED. >> HERE YOU ARE TODAY.
YOU WORK WITH NEW COUPLES AND
COUPLES IN CRISIS.
THERE IS ONE UNIVERSAL QUESTION
Y'ALL ASK TO SEE IF IT IS GOING
TO WORK OR NOT.
WHAT IS THAT?
>> ARE YOU WILLING TO DO
WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HAVE THE
MARRIAGE YOU HAVE ALWAYS HOPED
AND DREAMED OF?
IF YOU ARE BOTH WILLING TO DO
THAT -- WE REALLY PREPARED FOR
WEDDING DAY MORE THAN WE
PREPARED FOR THE DAYS AFTER.
I CALCULATED ONE TIME, FOR 50
YEARS OF MARRIAGE, THAT'S OVER
18,000 DAYS THAT YOU'LL BE
TOGETHER.
TOGETHER.
TOGETHER. THAT TAKES A LOT OF TIME.
I REALLY DID THE MATH.
IT WAS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT TO
GET THERE.
GET THERE. IT IS IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THAT
EVERY DAY YOU ARE GROWING AS AN
INDIVIDUAL.
INDIVIDUAL. JUST LIKE YOU ARE GROWING AS AN
INDIVIDUAL, YOU HAVE TO GROW IN
YOUR MARRIAGE.
YOUR MARRIAGE. IF YOU WANT TO BE GREAT AT
ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO PUT THE
WORK IN.
WORK IN.
WORK IN. WE ASK PEOPLE ARE YOU WILLING
TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HAVE
A MARRIAGE YOU HOPED AND
DREAMED OF?
DREAMED OF? IF THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO DO
THIS OR THAT -- WAIT A MINUTE
-- YOU SAID YOU WERE WILLING TO
DO WHATEVER IT TOOK.
SOMETIMES THAT MEANS LAYING
YOUR PRIDE DOWN.
SOMETIMES THAT MEANS CHANGING
THE WAY YOU RESPOND.
THAT WAS OUR KEY.
INSTEAD OF RESPONDING LIKE SHE
WAS ON THE OPPOSITE TEAM,
REALIZING I NEEDED TO RESPOND
LIKE SHE WAS ON MY TEAM.
IF SHE WINS, I WIN.
IF SHE LOSES, I LOSE.
>> WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT STRONG
PEOPLE GET STRONGER BECAUSE
THEY GET HELP OR WORK AT IT.
YOU HAD A GREAT QUOTE FROM YOUR
MOM ABOUT THEIR MARRIAGE.
>> LAST YEAR FOR A SPARK
CONFERENCE THEY CAME IN
CELEBRATING THEIR 55TH WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY.
ANNIVERSARY. I ASKED WHY ARE YOU COMING TO
HOUSTON IN AUGUST TO CELEBRATE?
SHE SAID CLAYTON, THE MOMENT WE
STOP LEARNING WILL BE THE DAY
WE STOP GROWING IN OUR
MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE. I SAID I HAVE TO WRITE THAT
DOWN.
DOWN.
DOWN. WE
DOWN. WE REALIZE EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE
BEEN MARRIED 22 YEARS WE ARE
STILL LEARNING AND GROWING.
WE'LL KEEP THAT HAPPENING UNTIL
ONE OF US TAKES OUR LAST
BREATHE.
BREATHE.
BREATHE. >> YOU WROTE THAT DOWN.
Y'ALL PUT IT IN YOUR BOOK.
YOUR BOOK, HOPE FOR YOUR
MARRIAGE, TALKS ABOUT A LOT OF
GREAT THINGS.
GREAT THINGS. I LOVE Y'ALL STARTED OFF WITH
THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER MYTH.
WE START OUT OF THE GATE WITH
THIS.
THIS.
THIS. WE
THIS. WE ARE ON THE HONEYMOON AND WE
ARE FIGHTING ABOUT WHATEVER IT
IS.
IS.
IS. TELL
IS. TELL US ABOUT THAT AND ABOUT
THE MYTH AND CONCEPTION.
ESPECIALLY TODAY WITH SOCIAL
MEDIA YOU WANT TO PRETEND YOU
ARE SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE NOT.
>> THAT WAS US.
WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO
RIDE OFF IN THE SUNSET.
I HAD THAT PRINCESS MENTALITY
OF HE IS MY PRINCE CHARMING AND
EVERYTHING WILL BE WONDERFUL.
WE LIVED IN THIS LITTLE LOG
CABIN IN THE WOODS.
HIS FAMILY OWNED THE LAND.
IT WAS A PICTURE OF A SWEET
FAMILY.
FAMILY.
FAMILY. BUT IT WASN'T.
LIKE CLAYTON SAID, WE DIDN'T
TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO KNOW ABOUT
MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE.
MARRIAGE. FOR US, WITH OUR FAITH, WHAT
DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT
MARRIAGE?
MARRIAGE?
MARRIAGE? WHAT DOES GOD HAVE TO SAY?
THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
LEARN HOW THE DIFFERENCES CAN
WORK TOGETHER INSTEAD OF APART.
LOVE LANGUAGES.
LOVE LANGUAGES. I KNOW WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT
LATER.
LATER.
LATER. WE
LATER. WE HAVE DR. CHAPMAN COMING TO
OUR CONFERENCE.
OUR CONFERENCE. THE AUTHOR OF THE FIVE LOVE
LANGUAGES.
LANGUAGES. THAT WAS A BIG THING -- TO
LEARN HOW TO LOVE EACH OTHER.
I SHOW LOVE IN A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT WAY THAN HE SHOWS
LOVE.
LOVE.
LOVE. THAT CAUSED FIGHTS BECAUSE WE
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
YOU CANNOT GO INTO MARRIAGE
WITH A FAIRLY TALE MYTH.
YOU HAVE TO GO INTO MARRIAGE
GETTING THE RESOURCES THAT WILL
HELP YOU SUSTAIN THROUGH 50
YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
IT IS NOT GOING TO ALL BE
HILLS.
HILLS.
HILLS. THERE WILL BE VALLEYS THROUGH
THE 50 YEARS.
WE ARE GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVE
TAKEN THE TIME TO READ THE
BOOKS AND GET THE UNDERSTANDING
AND THAT KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM
WE NEED.
WE NEED.
WE NEED. >> WHEN YOU GO THROUGH
CHALLENGES -- I HAVE HEARD
JIMMY EVANS, WHO IS A GREAT
MARRIAGE EXPERT.
MARRIAGE EXPERT. I HEARD HIM SAY SOUL MATES
AREN'T BORN.
AREN'T BORN. THEY ARE CREATED THROUGH THE
TRENCHES OF LIFE.
WE HAVE GONE THROUGH TRENCHES,
HILLS AND VALLEYS.
WHEN YOU LINK ARMS AND REALIZE
YOU ARE ONE, IT IS AMAZING HOW
YOU COME OUT SO MUCH BETTER
THAN WHEN YOU WENT IN.
>> YOU MENTIONED THE SPARK
CONFERENCE.
CONFERENCE. TELL PEOPLE WHAT IT IS.
I IMAGINE IT IS GOOD FOR
EVERYONE.
EVERYONE.
EVERYONE. NOT JUST PEOPLE IN CRISIS.
>> FOR SURE.
IF PEOPLE ARE ENGAGED, DATING,
MARRIED.
MARRIED.
MARRIED. WHETHER THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED
FIVE MINUTES OR 50 YEARS.
ASHLEY AND I IN 2015 WAS
LOOKING FOR A MARRIAGE
CONFERENCE.
CONFERENCE. WE FOUND A FEW.
NOTHING WE REALLY LINKED WITH.
WE THOUGHT WHAT IF WE COULD
BRING SOME OF THE GREATEST
MARRIAGE EXPERTS AND
COMMUNICATORS TO HOUSTON AND
MAKE IT A DESTINATION LOCATION?
THIS IS OUR THIRD YEAR.
WE HAVE DR. GARY CHAPMAN, WHO
WROTE "FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES."
HIS BOOK HAS BEEN ON "THE NEW
YORK TIMES" BEST SELLERS LIST
SINCE 1996.
SINCE 1996. WE HAVE CHRIS BROWN, WHO IS A
FINANCIAL EXPERT.
FINANCIAL EXPERT. WE'LL INTROVIEW PASTOR JOEL
OSTEEN.
OSTEEN.
OSTEEN. THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED 30 YEARS
NOW.
NOW.
NOW. WE
NOW. WE HAVE FRIENDS OF OURS THAT
WILL SHARE.
WILL SHARE. PEOPLE CAN GO ONLINE AND GET
INFORMATION AT LAKEWOOD
CHURCH.COM.
CHURCH.COM. WE HAVE PEOPLE COMING IN FROM
EIGHT DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND
40 DIFFERENT STATES THAT ARE
FLYING IN JUST TO BE PART OF
THIS CONFERENCE.
THIS CONFERENCE. >> WHAT I FOUND IS Y'ALL HAVE
HAD PEOPLE COME TO THE
CONFERENCE AND SHOW UP WITH
DIVORCE PAPERS AND SAY THIS IS
OUR LAST-DITCH EFFORT.
>> WE TALKED TO ONE OF THOSE
COUPLES LAST YEAR.
THEY HAD GONE THROUGH A ROUGH
YEAR.
YEAR.
YEAR. THEIR SON TRIED TO COMMIT
SUICIDE.
SUICIDE.
SUICIDE. IT WAS A LOT ON THEIR MARRIAGE.
THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN
FOR HELP.
FOR HELP.
FOR HELP. THEY HEARD ABOUT THE CONFERENCE
ON SIRIUS XM ON PASTOR JOEL'S
RADIO STATION.
RADIO STATION. THEY CAME WITH THEIR DIVORCE
PAPERS IN HAND.
THEY SAID IF WE CAN NOT WORK IT
OUT WITH THIS, WE ARE DONE.
INSTEAD OF THEIR DIVORCE PAPERS
THEY WERE LEAVING WITH A PILE
OF BOOKS THEY HAD BOUGHT.
THEY SAID WE'LL GO THROUGH EACH
BOOK AND SPEND THE NEXT YEAR
WORKING ON OUR MARRIAGE.
WE ARE DETERMINED THAT WE'LL
MAKE IT.
MAKE IT.
MAKE IT. THAT WE CAN DO THIS.
MAN, IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN
BOTH PEOPLE WANT TO WORK ON
THEIR MARRIAGE.
THEIR MARRIAGE. THAT IS EVERYTHING.
>> YOU MENTIONED BOTH PEOPLE.
WE HAD QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUYS.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF ONLY ONE
PERSON -- I THINK ALICIA WANTED
TO KNOW -- WHAT YOU DO IF ONE
PERSON IS WILLING TO GO TO
COUNSELING.
COUNSELING. SHE SAID FOR THREE MONTHS HER
HUSBAND KEPT SAYING MAYBE,
MAYBE, MAYBE.
MAYBE, MAYBE. >> I WOULD TELL HER TO GO.
EVEN IF IT IS BY YOURSELF GO.
FOR ME, I WANTED SOMEBODY TO
FIX HER.
FIX HER.
FIX HER. WHAT I REALIZED IS THERE WAS A
LOT OF WORK I NEEDED TO DO
MYSELF.
MYSELF.
MYSELF. GOING TO A COUNSELOR IS SO
IMPORTANT.
IMPORTANT. I THINK GETTING SOMEONE ELSE'S
PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR JOURNEY AND
ISSUES YOU ARE FACING IS
IMPORTANT.
IMPORTANT. THEN IT GIVES YOU A DIFFERENT
PERSPECTIVE.
PERSPECTIVE. MAYBE A DIFFERENT SET OF LENSES
TO LOOK THROUGH TO START MAKING
THE STEPS.
THE STEPS. A LOT OF TIMES WHAT PEOPLE WILL
FIND IS THEIR SPOUSE STARTS
WATCHING THEY ARE GOING TO
COUNSELING AND CHANGED HOW THEY
RESPOND.
RESPOND.
RESPOND. MAYBE I SHOULD START COMING.
I WOULD ENCOURAGE HER TO START
GOING.
GOING.
GOING. THAT WOULD BE IMPORTANT.
>> IT MAKES ME THINK OF HIS MOM
HIS MOM AND FRIENDS STARTED A
PRAYER GROUP TO PRAY FOR THEIR
HUSBANDS.
HUSBANDS.
HUSBANDS. THEY WERE NOT HAPPY WITH HOW
THEIR HUSBANDS WERE TREATING
THEM AT THE TIME.
THEY SAID WE'LL GET TOGETHER
AND PRAY GOD WILL CHANGE THEM.
WHAT THEY FOUND WHEN THEY CAME
TOGETHER WAS THE LORD WAS
PRESSING ON THEIR HEART FOR
THEM TO CHANGE THEMSELVES.
SHE CALLED CLAYTON ONE DAY AND
SAID WOW!
SAID WOW!
SAID WOW! HAS THE LORD REALLY HUMBLED ME.
SINCE WE HAVE BEEN PRAYING I'M
THE ONE I REALIZED NEEDED TO
CHANGE.
CHANGE.
CHANGE. NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED MAKING
CHANGES YOUR DAD NOTICED AND HE
STARTED MAKING CHANGES.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE OTHER
SPOUSE.
SPOUSE.
SPOUSE. YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF
FOR THE BETTER.
THAT IS A HUGE THING FOR PEOPLE
TO UNDERSTAND.
TO UNDERSTAND. YOU CAN TRY ALL DAY TO CHANGE
YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE.
>> OH, YEAH, I TRIED.
NOT HAPPENING.
NOT HAPPENING. >> THEY DON'T RESPOND WELL TO
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. WHEN YOU START WORKING ON
YOURSELF THEY SEE THAT.
THEY START CHANGING.
>> WONDERFUL.
>> WONDERFUL. WE WANT EVERYBODY TO COME.
NOT JUST PEOPLE IN CRISIS.
THE SPARK MARRIAGE CONFERENCE
GETS UNDERWAY TONIGHT AT
LAKEWOOD CHURCH.
LAKEWOOD CHURCH. DOORS OPEN AT 6:30 P.M.
EVENT BEGINS AT 7:00 P.M.
IT CONTINUES TOMORROW AT 9:30
A.M.
A.M.
A.M. WE
A.M. WE HAVE A LINK ON OUR WEBSITE
GREATDAYHOUSTON.COM.
GREATDAYHOUSTON.COM. >>> COMING UP, KNOWN AS
AUSTRALIA'S FAVORITE STORY-
TELLER, AUTHOR